


Through Thick and Thin

by BWaves



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Humanstuck, M/M, POV Switches, Self Confidence Issues, Teen Angst, Trans Character, in which John is a hot nerd, past self harm, teenagers are dicks, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2017-12-25 18:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 48,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWaves/pseuds/BWaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calm down, he's not that hot, you don't have to get all obsessive with this shit. If anything you're the same level of attractive as him. Like on a scale of one to ten he's a ten and you're like a nine-point-six or whatever. Of course, you don't feel that way and the little voice in your head is whispering you're in the negatives which is bullshit if you have anything to say about it.</p><p>Fuck it it's dead, I give up I can't finish it without it being shitty.<br/>**DISCONTINUED**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 5'5", 6'1"

**Author's Note:**

> Title courtesy of inverseMoue

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pester turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:39 --  
EB: okay this is going to sound weird but i'm randomly encountering you.  
TG: yeah that sounds really weird  
EB: sorry.  
EB: new chat client and i was curious of what this did and i didn't know if it would tell you i pestered you regardless of whether or not i said anything.  
EB: so i said something.  
TG: it wouldn't have said anything for the record  
TG: but i have no qualms with someone randomly talking to me  
TG: so long as they introduce themselves properly  
TG: at the risk of sounding like a super creepy omegle-er  
TG: asl?  
EB: you're right, that did sound pretty creepy.  
EB: but to answer, sixteen, dude and washington.  
TG: wow surprising  
TG: seventeen guy texas  
TG: names dave  
EB: i'm john.

 

* * *

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:45 --  
TG: egbert  
EB: what do you want, dave?  
TG: wanted to say happy birthday  
EB: how did you know it was my birthday?  
TG: i may or may not have a friend who will do whatever i tell him to  
TG: and i may or may not have told him to look you up online  
TG: if i did tell him to do that it was strictly so that i could be sure you existed  
TG: and were not a pedophile  
TG: trying to get into my underaged panties  
TG: found out your birthday was today  
TG: thought id tell you happy birthday  
EB: that's both creepy and thoughtful.  
TG: i know  
EB: but thanks for the birthday wishes, i guess.  
TG: no problem bro  
EB: so other than being a total creeper, what's up?

 

* * *

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:24 --  
EB: DAVE.  
EB: big deal.  
EB: get your butt on your computer so i can tell you all about this big deal thing.  
EB: or not, that's cool too.  
EB: JUST LEAVE ME HANGING IT'S FINE I DON'T EVEN CARE.  
EB: IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS IMPORTANT OR ANYTHING.  
TG: dude calm your tits  
TG: what the fuck is such a big deal it can't wait fifteen fucking minutes?  
EB: i was going to tell you i won an xbox.  
TG: wow  
TG: do you have live?  
EB: no, but i'm working on changing that, kind of need to save up because i'm going to just buy a year's worth instead of going a month at a time.  
TG: good boy  
EB: and then we can play left 4 dead and shit together.  
TG: and team fortress 2  
TG: and if you're up for it we can play cheesy shit like halo  
TG: and rage when we kill each other  
TG: but deep down inside youre giggling like a fucking schoolgirl  
TG: all like 'senpai noticed me long enough to shoot me in the head'  
EB: do i even want to know?  
TG: my brother's rubbing off on me  
EB: kinky.  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:35 --

* * *

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 03:32 --  
TG: john  
TG: wake up  
TG: i know its like godawful early for you  
TG: but you have to realize its like two hours later for me  
TG: im contacting you at 1/3 in the morning  
TG: because ther was a thing  
TG: and i kind of just want someone to talk to  
EB: im awake  
TG: thank you  
EB: you better have a good reason i have school in the morning.  
TG: its kind of all fucked the fuck up  
TG: bro got into a wreck and im just on edge and worrying and shit  
EB: i wasn't aware you were capable of such emotions, dave.  
TG: really youre gonna pull this shit right now  
EB: I'M TIRED  
EB: you brought this upn yourself dav.  
TG: look sorry about waking you up  
TG: i dont really have anyone else to talk to  
EB: id your bro even hurt?  
TG: not badly  
EB: is there even the tiniest chance that he won't live?  
TG: i dont think him dying is a possibility  
EB: then i'm going back to bed.  
EB: i'll talk to you in a few hours while i'm awake when i'm supposed to be.  
TG: fine  
TG: sorry  
EB: goodnight, dave.  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 04:07 --

* * *

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:12 --  
EB: i have to tell you something important.  
EB: but you have to get on skype.  
EB: my username is the same as my chumhandle so just add me and i'll call you and i can tell you this thing.  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:21 --

You stare at the messages, received at school, which is honestly surprising because even with the time difference he'd have been in school as well. Yet, your curiosity trumps all and you take another step in the interesting friendship you and John had been building up over the past several months. You look him up on Skype and it's pretty much immediate that he video calls you. You hesitate to answer. You don't know what you're expecting.

You let your mind wander for a moment.

Probably on the shorter side. Chubby. Definitely nerdy. That would be embarrassing, he'd be this chubby nerd and you'd be /you/. Poor guy's gone all these months without realizing he's talking to a legitimate cool person.

With a resigned sigh, you answer and the face that meets you is, in a word, gorgeous.

Not what you expected. At all. He looks tall, with the way his camera is tilted to show the ceiling along the top of the screen. Short black hair over a thin face and an equally thin frame. He wears glasses, but they're not huge, and they're not thick and they look good on him.

You retract your earlier thought, thinking he's like that and you're just you. Funny how the tables turn when you see someone's face.

You try to say something, noticing the boxes and the clean walls, which you remember him saying were covered in posters. "What's so important you needed to video call me?" You ask, leaning back in your chair and self-consciously tugging on the edge of your hoodie.

"My dad got transferred for work. So I'm moving."

"That's cool." You say, nodding a little. "Where to?"

This is the part where he smiles and holy crap he's so pretty. "Houston." He holds his arms out in an unspoken 'tada' and you feel yourself tense.

"That's cool, bro." You say and smile a little.

"We're leaving the first day of winter break, should be down there by Christmas." He leans forward, pulling the camera to accommodate the lowering of his head. "Now I need to know what all to expect." He smiles again and you simply offer a nod to your friend.

"Let me tell you all about Texas," You say.

It takes a good few hours but eventually you wrap up your lecture. You tell him about winters, which, while not as cold as other places, are still cold as fuck. You tell him about summers which can easily get into the high ninety's, low hundreds. You explain to him that Houston is humid as all get out.

You go over stereotypes, which ones are true and which are not. Cowboys are not, rednecks are. Cowboys are skewed to all outside of the state. You explain that Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob, while semi-accurate, is a character essentially made to perpetuate the stereotype.

You tell him about country music, how it used to be good and be about young women running away with the men of their dreams, or men giving their daughter's boyfriends terrifying speeches to ensure their princess' safety, or sons taking after their fathers in many somewhat endearing scenarios, but thanks to various artist nowadays the music is no longer country it is what you refer to as 'pop-country mutant love-child' and is about breakups and unrealistically compared Romeo and Juliet stories and 'chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit'.

He seems really interested but after a while he has to excuse himself to go eat and tells you he'll be back on later. You say bye to each other and he ends the call and then goes offline on both Skype and Pesterchum. You sigh a little bit thinking back on the conversation. He's really good looking, you note, taking a moment to glance down at yourself and grimacing slightly. He has a nice voice, which is a weird thing to say but compared to what you figured you'd been expecting it was a whole new level of holy shit.

His laugh makes you uncomfortable. In a good and bad way. You never thought of thinking someone's laugh is sexy or whatever before but when you get him laughing hard enough it dissolves into desperate snorts for breath and you can't fucking handle it. It's super cute and somewhat endearing and the way he lifts his hands to cover his mouth when he does laugh is too cute.

You feel really weird about suddenly being totally attracted to John. Considering you've only known each other online and this is the first time you've seen his face in the whole eight months you two have been talking. You wonder briefly what he thought of you and once more you look down to yourself, looking at the still running webcam open on your computer. Shit he must've thought you were a mess.

You bring up a hand and run your too thin fingers through messy red hair and furrow your brow at yourself. You seem like the kind of person a guy like him would ignore, you think.

You're pudgy and your face is squishy with chub. Your face is, like, ninety-percent freckles. As you look at yourself in the camera you wonder why the fuck he sat there and watched you talk for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. So this is the beginning of an extremely self-indulgent fic that I wanted to do. I wanted some self-conscious person getting a fuckton of compliments in some slow cute and fluffy buildup thing and just this happened so.
> 
> On a different note, the songs that are referred to are actually legit songs; Suds In The Bucket by Sara Evans, Cleaning This Gun and Watching You by Rodney Atkins and then any Taylor Swift song and then Boys Round Here by Blake Shelton.
> 
> (Dave's opinion on country music is seriously just mine. Not even gonna lie.)
> 
> Oh and if it wasn't obvious or whatevs there's chunks of time we're not seeing between the pesterlogs! Like they are having conversations in between but I wanted a sort of time-passing and them growing closer sort of effect? If that made any sense yow.
> 
> And I'm gonna stop the gravy train before it leaves the station, the chat in which Dave wakes John up at ungodly in the a.m., yes there are typos, but Dave is somewhat distressed and John just woke up, they are intentional on my part.
> 
> OH and if anyone has any title suggestions throw em at me this needs a title.
> 
> EDIT AS OF 2/9/14
> 
> I figured out how to format the pesterlogs!  
> This has a title obv.


	2. I Get By With A Little Help From These Assholes

You marked the date on your calendar. You know for sure that John would be arriving in Houston on December 22nd. You had two weeks. Two weeks until you go to see him in real life. Find out if he goes to your school. You're admittedly terrified. For stupid reasons, maybe, you think. After seeing him the first time you've shared a surprisingly high amount of conversations on Skype, though you did end up lying to him and telling him your camera stopped working so it was strictly voice calls.

Of course this didn't help you because, just your luck, he thinks you're funny and laughs every time you go on a tangent. It's almost literally killing you right about Friday morning when he calls just to talk before going to school. You bear with it, sit through it and talk to him tiredly and wonder why the hell he's up so early for his time and he says it's so he could talk to you.

You go to school distracted then. You think about him through first and second period, and half-way through lunch you're snapped out of it by Feferi pinching the shit out of your cheek trying to get your attention. “What the actual fuck!?” You snap rubbing at the now sore skin.

“We're kind of curious what's got you so down is all.” She says with a worried smile. Of course. Nothing has you down you insist and Sollux, sitting across from you rolls his eyes and gives an exaggerated huff.

“Not buying it.” He says simply. “You haven't eaten lunch all week.” He points to the empty space on the table before you and you stare at it realizing, yeah, you kind of haven't. “So there are obviously bees in your metaphorical bonnet. Who put them there?” He asks.

“I don't know I just haven't been hungry, a guy's not allowed to skip lunch every now and again?”

“Not every day for a week straight!” Feferi says, frowning at you.

“You haven't been eating dinner either if the two days I was over speak for the rest of the week.” Sollux adds and you feel like they need to get the fuck out of your business right now.

“Well it doesn't count for the rest of the week you presumptuous douche.” It did though. You think about it and realize you've barely eaten anything since your first Skype with John. Maybe that had something to do with it but like hell you were going to admit any of that to these two.

“Whale you know you can tell us anyfin right?” Feferi says and you regret meeting her eyes the moment you catch the dark blue. She's too easy to relent to. She has that whole 'I'm super nice but if you piss me off I'll fucking kill you' vibe, and that extends to people being mean to her friends (which as far as you are aware consists of you, Sollux and that bitchy guy with the purple hair who refuses to sit with you because of Sollux), keeping secrets from her and talking about seafood.

You figure it can't hurt anyone too much if you tell them your friend is coming to town for an indefinite amount of time. “You guys remember I was telling you about that guy I met on pesterchum?” They both nod. “He's moving here over break.” They both look a little surprised then.

“That's a good thing, though!” Feferi says with a wide smile, grabbing onto your arm and shaking you a little. “You should be super happy, why aren't you happy?” She drags out happy, adding a strange inflection to her voice and widening her eyes at you.

“I am happy!” You say, carefully removing her, “I'm pretty freakin' pumped, I gotta tell you, how often do you make a friend online and then actually meet them? That shit's rare. Don't get me wrong, I'm all up and ready to help him move his shit in and give the Visita de Texas*, but I'm just having those typical worries like that he's not gonna like me in real life you know.”

“I call bullshit.” A voice behind you says and you turn to see Karkat, a tray of more food than you've seen him ever eat in his hands. He takes the seat next to you and shoves a sandwich into your hands, “Seriously the entire fucking time shitstain and I were at your place you would not stop talking to him and unless the blue was my imagination he wouldn't stop talking to you either.” He says, pointing a thumb at Sollux, the shitstain to which Karkat referred.

“That's different.” You explain, “Me online and me in real life are almost two totally different me's, like there's six Dave's running around and who I'm around changes which one I am, you get me?” He looks skeptically at you and point to the chicken sandwich in your hands.

“Just eat, Strider, we don't need you dying of starvation and I personally would much prefer if your noise spout was occupied with something other than talking.” He huffs and begins to pick at the spaghetti on his tray grumbling to himself in Chinese and pointedly glaring at the innocent food.

Sollux looks between you and Karkat before looking to Feferi and tilting his head. “Ready to go?” She nods with a smile. “We're gonna go find Aradia, Physics homework isn't gonna do itself y'know.” With a few goodbyes they're gone and it's just you and Karkat and he continues to pick slowly at his lunch, while you haven't touched the food he'd given you.

He sits up a little straighter and turns to you, “Are you going to see Terezi today?” He asks and you actually think about it for a moment.

“Haven't made any plans not to. ¿Por qué?”

“You have got to stop that, I don't know Spanish asshole.”

“Sorry.” Is all you mumble, “I asked why, by the way.”

He shifts a little, “I wanted to know if I could come along.” You quirk and eyebrow at him as he shovels a forkfull of the pathetic excuse for Italian food into his mouth.

“Okay now I really want to know why.” You say, turning and leaning on the table placing a palm under your chin. “Tell me all about it, Karkat.”

“Well if you're there to translate I don't see any reason why not.”

You smirk shaking your head, “Nah man, if you come along I'll be too busy translating your tirades to talk to her myself.” You say and he shoots you a piercing glare. “Why do you want to go if you can't even talk to her?” You ask and he rolls his eyes.

“Forget it, I'll just go home and listen to my brother talk on and on and on. He got home from college you know? Yeah. Haven't gotten a wink of sleep, dude. Not cool. Fucker never shuts up and when I tell him to shut the fuck up he gets all up in arms and tells me I 'should not use such foul language' and that I could 'potentially trigger someone' and I tell him to shut the fuck up again and he again tells me not to cuss and I drop every swear word in my itinerary and he just gets to fucking pissy. I swear if I hear the word trigger one more time I may have to use a fork to commit Seppuku to get away from him.”

“Ritual stomach cutting?”

“Yes, Dave. I will use a kitchen utensil to slice open my own stomach. We're talking the whole deal, a white kimono a fuckin' death poem, you get to have the honors of cutting my head off, but you need to practice that shit because you need to leave a little bit so it's still attached alright?” He's pinching at a fleshy part on his neck and you're staring at him, wide eyed.

“Did... Did you fucking research harakiri, Karkat?”

“Seriously? You're fucking surprised I know this shit? How much stuff have I looked up simply to stifle a fucking curiosity?”

“An yet you haven't bothered to learn Spanish so you can talk to Terezi.” You say simply and he almost growls at you.

“Can I come or not?” He snaps and you hum dramatically. “Fucking answer me, Strider!” He snaps reeling back a forkful of spaghetti.

Your hands shoot up and you nod, “Yes, yes, just don't touch me with that shit.” You reach forward, slowly lowering the hand and standing. “I'm gonna go to the library, meet me in the front after school alright?” He agrees and you head to your destination, but you're only a few feet away when you feel the still-wrapped chicken sandwich smack you in the back of the head.

\--------

You walk up to the door of the first floor apartment and knock a few times. Karkat stands behind you with an odd look on his face, you're not sure how he feels, which is odd because he's usually blatantly obvious with that kind of shit. The door swings open a moment later, a taller girl in nothing but a bra and a pair of basket-ball shorts smiles at you. “Dave!” She says with a smile and then talks about how Terezi was wondering when you'd visit next.

You understand her, but Karkat shifts uncomfortably behind you as Latula asks who your friend is.

You take a step back, “Latula, Karkat, Karkat Latula.” You motion between them and she greets him with a smile before motioning the two of you inside.

“If I'd known he didn't speak Spanish I would have started out right.” Latula says with a small chuckle. “I'm not very good but I get by, yeah?” She says, and you note how Karkat's shoulders sag in relief. “She's in her room just knock first like usual.” She says, waving them off and heading to the kitchen.

You thank her and lead Karkat to the door with a sign that you learned at one point was Terezi's name in braille. You knock and wait before you're invited in and open the door to the spotless room. Across the room, sitting at her desk with a very large book propped open is Terezi who smiles and says she smelled you coming.

You go about introducing Karkat, explaining the language barrier and she cackles, asking why he bothered to come if he couldn't understand. You tell her he expects you to translate and then she says 'translate this:'

“She said learn the language, and I think Karkles was a name, because it's definitely not a word, so congrats, you got a nickname.”

He seems to take a moment to process this before going on a short tirade, which you're sure he expects you to translate. You do, begrudgingly, and Terezi offers a soft roll of her eyes before answering, but it turns out to be a question directed at you.

You look between her and Karkat, who looks like he's expecting a translation. “Si.” Is all you say and she laughs again before Karkat begins demanding an answer.

You actually hang out with Terezi for a while longer, translating for the conversations they have and laughing with Terezi when the two of you begin to talk about Karkat. You enjoyed that part, because you could say whatever you wanted with him right there.

Eventually, however, Latula came in and sent the two of you out.

“I guess that wasn't completely horrible.” Karkat grumbles as you're walking him home. “Even though I didn't understand a fucking thing coming out of either of your mouths.” He adds. You smirk.

“She actually asked me what you looked like at one point in there.” You say with a nod and he looks up at you, eyebrows as far up as you've seen them in a while.

“And what did you say?” He demands.

“You're a short Asian kid with a broken volume nob.”

He snarls at you as you laugh at him, but he doesn't get the chance to attack before you're standing outside the gated neighborhood he lives in. “I'll see you on Monday, alright.” You wave over your shoulder at him and manage to hop a bus the rest of the way to your apartment.

You get home, are greeted by your older brother who is sat upon the futon watching television and scribbling something on a piece of paper. Probably a design for something either puppet or robot related, you're not sure which. He barely acknowledges you beyond that short greeting however and you head straight to your room.

Once you get on your computer you see that you've got a message from John.

– ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:56 –

EB: one more week! :B

– ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:57 –

You can't hold back the small sigh as you think about it. Yep. In one week you were meeting face to face. Physically. Like he can see your short weirdly proportioned body and all the freckles and he could see how pale you were. You self-consciously run the tips of your fingers over your speckled cheeks, heading to the bathroom with a groan of annoyance.

You take a shower and find yourself staring at your reflection. Your face is one kind of pale but the rest of you is worse, you decide. Pinching the skin the hangs loosely from your stomach you blanch a little, your eyes trailing up from the spot to your shoulders. You turn a little examining the skin, some patches where barely any pale shows through. You scratch harshly at the spots, as if you could get rid of them with your digging nails. All you get from it is a raw spot that burns to touch, and you wince as you rub some water against it.

You think back to when that had been a habit, the scratching thing. Surely it hadn't hurt as much then? As you think about it you remember that it had actually counted as self harm, which hadn't even crossed your mind. It's not like it's what you were trying to do. It gave you relief, you suppose, you liked having pain you could control, you had decided at one point. It never escalated beyond the scratching though.

You run your fingers over the scars on the back of your hands and on your upper arms. Then the ones on your stomach, near your ribs. There were actually a lot there. Mostly there. Three on your left hand, two on the right. Four on your left arm, seven on your right, and there were only ten or eleven on your stomach that you could see but you know there had been more there.

You tug at your cheeks and the skin around your eyes, peering at the way the veins in your eyes are stark red like your irises. You're frowning at the sight of you as you tug the towel off your waist, taking in the freckles on your thighs and on your back as you turn and examine all of you.

Your brother is this creature built of solid muscle, you wonder how you ended up the way you did.

Your eyes drift to the scale stuffed in the corner. You think about the fact that you haven't eaten, and wonder if you've actually lost weight from it. Couldn't hurt to check right?

You pull it from it's place and lay it on the floor, tapping it with your foot and the digital screen requests you to wait as it displays three big zeros. Finally it changed to say 'step on' and you do as it says waiting a moment for it to pop up with the number.

You're not sure why you smile at the number that is a few lower than it was a week and a half ago.

It's good, right? You decide that it is and step off the scale, replacing it and grabbing your towel, going back to your room to dress and sit at your computer, and hopping on the internet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so clarifying some shit, Dave speaks Spanish in this, because fucking Texas is packed with people who speak it as a first language and its's a good thing to have, Karkat is Chinese, his bullshit will all be explained later, Sollux and Feferi are Texans born and raised, and Aradia's Canadian.


	3. Pretty Fly (For A computer Nerd)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's POV because of a suggestion and the fact that I had too much time skips in Dave's POV and I needed some buffer, yo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While most people make John's dad out to be this proper gentleman and all suits and such, I have modeled him after my own father. He knows when to act professional, and he doesn't play a big part in this chapter, but later you'll see what I mean. (Not that I have anything against proper-gentleman-in-a-suit-dad, but he didn't really fit into this story :))

Dear god has waiting always been this hard? You sit in your seat fidgeting as you stare at your Skype window, mumbling 'come on come on' to yourself over and over again. You continuously check the clock, groaning every minute that passes without that contact request.

It's finally driving you too crazy, you force yourself to do something else. You try to watch a movie. You try to sit through National Treasure, but fifteen minutes in you know it's for naught, you've seen it too many times and you turn off your television with a huff. You try to pack some more, but everything not packed needs to stay unpacked because you need it for school or for the last few days of work.

You decide to start being picky about it, and you dig through the clothes still in your dresser, picking out exactly ten t-shirts and stacking them in a specific order. You pluck out a few pairs of jeans and a handful of socks and go about stuffing the rest of your clothes into a box and placing it on top of the box that had your music and movies in it.

Once more you are left with nary a distraction and fidget in your rolling chair for a few more minutes, eyeballing Skype like it has the answer to all your problems.

“Holy balls, does he always get online this late!” You yell to the ceiling right as the program pings that someone has requested your contact information. You sit bolt upright in your chair, click accept and poke the video call button with your finger so hard you worry you may have broken your screen.

It rings twice before being accepted and you stare at yourself for a second before the other video loads.

Dave is... Tiny. Your first impression is this, of course, and you sure don't know for sure about this thought, but you can see just how much taller his chair is than him and you wonder if he's as short as he looks or if he's slouching something fierce.

You feel yourself smiling at him. The sunglasses perched on his nose make his face look small and despite their size you can see the freckles which are wicked cute, but you know better than to say that they're wicked cute. Your friend Tavros has freckles and has personally decided that they're the ugliest thing in the world and gets slightly more verbal than his usual mumbles to tell you you're full of shit when you say they're not bad.

You think that freckles are like curly hair, people without think it's great, people with hate it with a passion.

You're so wrapped up in your thoughts that you barely catch him asking you what the big deal is.

“My dad got transferred for work,” You explain, smiling happily at him, “So I'm moving.”

He seems to take it in, sticking out his bottom lip in a way that makes you think of the 'not bad' pictures on the internet. Holy fuck you just compared him to a meme, what is wrong with you. “That's cool. Where to?”

Here's where you get excited, and the smile on your face almost literally hurts our cheeks. You throw out your arms, kind of motioning to the boxes behind you but maybe you just want to keep his attention. “Houston!”

He doesn't seem nearly as excited as you are, which is a problem. “That's cool, bro.” Is all the response you get from the wonderful news that you're moving into his city, most likely in close proximity where you two will be able to hang out for real and stuff. And maybe go bowling and shit because you haven't been bowling in yeas and it sounds like a fun thing to do with your friend.

You explain to him when you're leaving and when you expect to be there. You mentally take note of what you can see of his room and plot a Christmas present. You tell him that you need to know all about Texas, so that the culture shock isn't as severe when you get there.

And he tells you all about it. You watch him talk and take this time of him rambling to look him over better.

He's not the skinniest guy you've ever seen but he's by no means overweight, not that you can see at least. Who knows it could all be in his thighs like Vriska. You catch sight of his brother, or at least you think it's his brother, walking past the open door on the other side of Dave's room. You manage to focus when Dave gets onto the topic of country music, but you tune out halfway through that and just watch him talk.

He's got the brightest red hair you've seen in forever and it's kind of messy looking. You're not sure if its intentional or if something happened but you can imagine how much of a pain it could be to brush. You like it, though, and you're actually pretty excited, more excited than before about moving to Texas.

You watch the way he pushes up the sunglasses every now and again, the movement of his face from talking and expressing nudging them down the bridge of his nose. He makes jokes every now and then and you laugh, because you feel like it's the proper response, every now and then he throws one at you that hits just right and you die. You try not to, you hate your laugh more than anything but it's hard to hold it back. It's not that bad at first, you chuckle like anyone else, but as it gets more intense it turns into high pitch wheezes and eventually, if it's funny enough it's nothing more than painful snorts and desperate gasps for air.

You hate this the most and you've avoided it or so long but you can't stop yourself when Dave gets going and he just sort of smirks and chuckles at you, it's embarrassing.

He wraps up his speech with the phrase “So yeah it's basically nothing like you fucking yankees. Fucking yankees.” You laugh a little at that before your father calling you for dinner catches your ear.

“Shit, I gotta go, okay? Dinner calls.” You say goodbye to each other and once the video closes you just let it all sink in. The stories of Texas you didn't catch and Dave. You think a bit about him and find yourself smiling like an idiot.

He's. Kind of cute. You think.

You head downstairs and join your dad in the kitchen and there's a plate of fried chicken waiting next to an empty fryer. You feel yourself grin and you point, smiling. “Mom's recipe?” You ask, and he smiles at you.

“No, actually.” You feel your face fall, and he laughs this fatherly chuckle at you. “Of course it's your mother's recipe.” He says, motioning for you to help yourself. “What other recipe would I use?” You're back up and serving yourself as he finishes rinsing off dishes to put in the dish washer.

On some level you're aware of how odd it is to simply get excited about using a recipe your dead mom used, sure. But it's a way to honor her, and keep her around, in spirit of course. Your father never really took up any kind of cooking until she passed and ever since he's been sure to make her recipes as well as make his own. He plays both roles in a way.

You haven't yet told him how much you like that he never dated again. You think he'd be hurt by that but the seven year old in you refuses to call anyone your mother, step or otherwise, but her.

“So did you tell your Houston friend the good news?” He asks as he sits across from you, and you're forced to swallow half-chewed chicken to converse with him.

“Yeah. I think he's excited, but he's all stoic and cool and refuses to show it. He told me all about Texas.” He nods a little and you hide your face a little behind your food, “I didn't really listen too much, which is embarrassing.”

He quirks an eyebrow and you see the corner of his lips pull up and you know what he's about to say before it comes out of his mouth. “Is he cute?” He makes a point of wiggling his eyebrows at you and you groan, leaning back in your chair.

“Oh my god we're not having this conversation.” You bury your face in your hands and shake your head. “Not now, not ever!”

You peek through when he chuckles. And it's a few moments of silence shared before he speaks again. “But is he?”

You don't say anything for a moment, thinking about him again. “Yeah. He kind of is.”

He nods and you two finish your dinner in quiet.

You liked that your dad was understanding about stuff like that. When you were younger you'd been so adamant about your heterosexuality that no one believed you, and in retrospect you didn't blame them. You only came to terms with it yourself two years ago, and then you managed to hide it for the next year. When you finally came out to your dad he just sort of shrugged and said “Tell me something I don't know,” but not in those words. Actually what he said was something more like “Son, did you know I'm your father?” and you said 'well duh' and he said “My thoughts exactly” and you're still not sure if you should have been offended or not.

And then he went on a tirade about how proud he was of you, for being brave enough to tell him and admit it to yourself.

Life out of the closet, you quickly learned, was great. Much easier to find dates for shit. You went to junior prom with this guy named Jake, a friend of your cousin Jane, and while he was sweet and everything he wasn't exactly 'your type'. You two made better friends than you did a couple. You still kept the prom picture, and while you two haven't spoken since he graduated you still have a special spot for him in your heart, as cheesy as it sounds.

You spend the night chatting with Dave on pesterchum and dreading telling your friends the news of your upcoming departure.

You try to imagine how they're going to react, individually.

Tavros probably won't be too crazy upset. Vriska will probably act like she doesn't care, but you know she'll care. Nepeta will care. She'll make a huge deal out of it. Gamzee will use it as an excuse to spend more time with Tavros. You can imagine that he'd act super upset just to get Tavros to comfort him and then some shit you don't want your mind to drift to will ensue.

You think Nepeta will actually care the most about it and you're touched, in a way. You kind of wish they'd all genuinely care, but you can't win them all.

You're mentally preparing yourself the next morning, trying to figure out how you'd answer any questions or how you're gonna deal with inevitable storm of sads that will be coming your way from Nepeta. You slide on your glasses and find yourself staring into the mirror. You look yourself over, tugging on your shirt and jeans and sticking your tongue out at the way your hipbones stuck out. Kind of nasty, you think, tugging your jeans up above them and prodding at your surprisingly tiny stomach. With how much you eat it's just weird.

You find yourself wondering if Dave's self-conscious about shit like that. You think he might not be, he's never let on anything like that. You suppose you are, but not all the time, while most days you eat like any healthy teenager should there are others where you think you need to be at least at a normal weight and you'll eat everything in the kitchen, though it never helps.

You've basically accepted that you're going to be a pole the rest of your life, but you still wonder why you're pretty much incapable of putting on weight.

You shake it off, finally grabbing your backpack and going off to school.

You don't actually have any classes with your friends, and you sit through Spanish 4, Physics and Government by yourself, still mentally preparing for the inevitable.

When lunch finally does come around you're in line quick and you're the first one at the circular table in the back of the cafeteria that you and your friends sit at. Gamzee comes soon after you and it's not hard to tell he's not all there today, and soon after him Nepeta comes, dragging Equius along with her. Vriska comes and sits next to you, immediately striking up a conversation with Nepeta and Tavros joins soon after.

You wait for a bit, until everyone's done eating before nudging Vriska with your elbow. She turns two bright blue eyes at you and smirks, like she knows something you don't, “Yes, John?” She says and suddenly all eyes are on you. You don't know how she does that but the tone in her voice is enough for everyone to know something is about to go down.

“Uuh,” You stare stupidly for a minute, the entire speech of how much you were going to miss everyone and that they could still talk to you on pesterchum flying out of your head as everyone looked expectantly at you. “I'm moving.” You say and her smirk disappears and she sits up a little straighter, like this news was shocking. Well, it was shocking, of course, but you hadn't expected such an honest reaction from her right away.

“What!?” The voice that strikes you is, however, not Vriska's, it is Nepeta's, and she is quickly being consoled by Equius, and Vriska still looks surprised.

“Well where are you all up and movin' to, brother?” Gamzee asks from the other side of Vriska and you lean a bit, telling him Houston and theeen he gets the shocked look. “That's on the other side of the country, dude.” He says and you nod.

“Wait, when? And did you like wait until the last minute to tell us or something?” Nepeta grabs onto your arm and stares up at you expectantly.

“Winter break.” You tell her and she gets a look like she's offended.

“You gave us two weeks!?”

“I only had two weeks!” Your dad told you yesterday, you didn't even know before then.

“Nepeta, calm down.” Equius says, rubbing her shoulder carefully as she fumes at you.

“Well why?” She asks.

“Dad got transferred for work.”

“How long... Uh, how long are you going to be gone?” Tavros asks and you're surprised you heard him at first. All you can offer in response to his question is a shrug. “So, uh, you don't know if you'll ever... Come back, or something?”

“Not a clue.” Well that basically covers their reactions. Vriska hasn't said much and now she just looks like she's sulking, arms crossed and glare pointed at the wall away from you. Nepeta has begun planning a goodbye party, which you explain is not necessary and she swats you on the arm and says it damn well is necessary. Equius is mouthing an apology to you as Nepeta begins telling people what they're bringing. Gamzee is leaning over and whispering stuff into Tavros's ear and he turns appropriately bright red for whatever your imagination imagines he is saying.

Lunch comes to a close and Nepeta gives you one more swat to explain how not-happy she is with this news and Equius once more apologizes for her.

You sit through the rest of the day alone, and once school is out Vriska requests a ride home.

“What about band?” You ask and she rolls her eyes.

“Please, they'll live. On top of that I don't think I could lift my mellophone if I tried.” She lifts her arms to show that they can't go very high and you see how they shake.

“Fine.” You agree and she smirks, mumbling 'yes' to herself and getting in the passenger seat.

“So I didn't wanna bring it up in front of the others, but doesn't your friend TG live in Houston?” She asks as you pull out and begin heading toward her house.

“Yep. I actually told him already, with Skype. I got to see him and stuff. I think he's happy about it.”

“Is he cute?” Of course she'd ask that first.

“Yep.”

“Is he gay?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

“I dunno, use your gaydar, gay people have that right? I have gaydar. I can tell by one conversation how much of a homo someone is.”

“Like who?”

“Gamzee's so homo the Kinsey scale is jealous.” She says and you share a laugh.

“Dude no way, Gamzee's not totally gay, he's like a three. There's six, right? Six is totally gay and one is not gay at all. Gamzee's a three, he just happens to be head over heels for Tavros.”

“Which is unfortunate because Tavros is like a negative seven.” She says and you two share a nod in silence.

“Equius is queer as a three dollar bill.” You say with a nod.

“What?” You nod again. “Noooooooo.”

“Yeeeeeeees.” She tells you to prove it and you laugh at her, “You say you have gaydar, but so far you've misdiagnosed Gamzee and then you think Equius isn't? You need to sharpen that thing, you're making mistakes all over the place.” She shakes her head quickly.

“No way, Equius is straight as hell! He couldn't be any more straight if he could quote Top Gun verbatim!” You laugh at her and point out the way he looks at Gamzee. “Hell no, Egbert, that is one dude who is not giving the high-guy googly eyes, no way no how.”

“Just watch them next time, seriously!” She denies more, and you give her an incredulous look as you stop in front of her house. “Why are you so adamant that he's straight?” She opens her mouth for a response before it snaps shut and you make a small hand gesture for her to speak.

“Because there's no way in all hell he has a hard-on for fucking Makara!” She snaps and her door flies open, and she steps out slamming it harshly. You roll down your window and lean out.

“I'll see you tomorrow!” You call and she gives you the finger.

You wait until she's closed the door behind herself before driving away. You don't know where that habit came from, but you've been doing it since you started driving. It never really mattered who it was, but you vaguely remember your dad did it whenever he took your mom anywhere, or whenever he drove your friends home. He would wait and actually you suppose that's where it came from. That made the most sense at least.

You finally go home, and your dad is at work, you don't have any work until Thursday and you wouldn't be surprised if your boss called and told you to go ahead and not come in. You'd like that. You'll try not to get your hopes up as you head up the stairs to your empty room. You're a bit startled to see all the boxes gone, but you decide to assume they're downstairs somewhere, and then you feel bad because your dad probably moved all of them himself.

You take a seat at your computer, relaxing a bit from the day of school. Christmas break was right around the corner though. And then you'd get to see Dave. You decide that you want to find him a freaking sweet present for Christmas and begin your search through the interwebs for something he'd like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno about you guys but I ALWAYS post on Ao3 whilst in my undies.  
> Oh and in case there was confusion, John's computer is a touch screen.  
> Ah, and to give you an idea of the time frame to expect: http://tinyurl.com/kwkf46n  
> And of course that is only covering December! I'm hoping to go up to Valentine's at least, John's 18th birthday at most, ya digg?


	4. Karkat Is Having A Seizure Or Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave's POV again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thing I notices, btw, with the calendar I put up that had the chapters set on the various days, I noticed I put chapter 1 and 3 a day early, 1 was supposed to be on monday and 3 was supposed to be on monday/tuesday, so clearing that up a little bit in case anyone actually cared.

Wednesday comes all too slowly. You sit at the lunch table with Sollux and Karkat. Feferi and Aradia are somewhere else. Sollux tells you Feferi is sick and Aradia is in her class like usual. Altogether it's fairly quiet except for the chicken nuggets that are hitting you in the forehead and then bouncing back toward Karkat, who simply picks them up and throws them once more.

This goes on for a surprisingly long time before Sollux finally swats at his hands. They share a glare and you watch them. You feel like they're having a silent conversation. It simply doesn't involve you. You feel like you're eavesdropping but you're not hearing anything.

“I'm gonna go... Do something else.” Karkat says simply, putting the poor chicken nuggets back on the tray and shoving them in front of you. “Eat those for me.” He commands, pointing at them and glaring at you. The look reads 'do it or I'll kill you'. And you watch him leave before looking at Sollux.

“I take it you mind-controlled him away for one reason or another, what the hell are you going to bother me about now?” You sit up and rest your chin on your elbows, raising your eyebrows at him in an unspoken quest for answers. He just sort of sighs at you and mimics your chin-in-palm pose.

“I'm worried. We're. Worried.” You quirk and eyebrow and he mimics that as well. Apparently he's trying to get into your head my copying you or something. “I get it, high school sucks on thirteen different levels but you're kind of freaking us out here.”

You sigh and sit up a little, crossing your arms on the table and you expect him to copy you but he doesn't. “How am I freaking you guys out? I guess I'm slightly more tolerant of Karkat's rants than before? I mean I can see why that would freak you out because I could barely stand him when he first came here, especially when he slipped into his first language and would bitch at me in Chinese and no one even knew what he was saying. I dunno man, Karkat just doesn't annoy me anymore. It's actually kind of endearing when he goes off on a tangent.” He rolls his eyes at you and you feel like you should continue. “Is it the whole deal where Egbert is moving to town? Are you afraid to lose your place as best friend? Because even if he does become my number one I'll always have a special place in my heart for you.” You place a hand over your heart and smirk at him and he shakes his head at you.

“You're still not eating. We notice these things. I'm surprised your brother hasn't gotten onto you about this he's like half health-nut half ninja.”

“My bro is not a health-nut, he eats Chinese take-out four to five times a week.”

“And what do you eat?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said he eats Chinese takeout, what do you eat?”

“Nothing? I'm not hungry usually and it's all we ever have. Kind of got desensitized, you know? Shit's been around since I was big enough to eat solid foods, and now he's gone and-”

“Dave.” You stop mid sentence and look at him, dropping your hands from what was about to be a gesture to emphasize a point and waiting for him to continue. “Are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm fine. You people don't see me but I picked up a snacking routine, I kind of eat all day now and no one has to worry about me. Tell that to the others too if they're as worried as you say they are. I'm not so sure about that though, I mean I guess Feferi being worried is alright, she's kinda all about that shit, but Karkat's definitely not-”

“Karkat's probably more worried than I am.”

“Dude, don't interrupt me that's rude.”

“He's been giving you all his food and you still haven't been eating it.”

This brings you pause. Karkat hadn't been giving you all his food, had he? No, not possible. You look to the tray of chicken nuggets and cont the entire seven that they give and see where what was left of apple-sauce was trapped in little corners. “Nah, he's not giving me all of it.” You say and look up, “He's still eating at home though, right?”

“Yes, he is, but his lunch has all been given to you, and of course I pay the consequences because when he doesn't eat he turns into an even more loud and obnoxious pain in the ass.”

“Karkat?” You question, “A pain in the ass?” You wave a hand, “Naaaah. He's the sweetest thing since cherry pie, couldn't yell at a fly, that one.”

“Damn it, Dave, I'm being serious.” He snaps and you feel yourself flinch back as an elbow slams into the table as he runs agitated fingers through messy blonde hair. “Christ, Strider, you never seem to notice your own issues, what's up with that?” He sighs at you as you open your mouth to tell him you don't have a problem, but there's a hand smacking over your mouth before the words can escape. “Remember last year, when you were going through that curious phase? When you refused to acknowledge the fact that you wanted to know if you liked to play both sides of the field?” You nod a little and he does too. “You got so depressed by this we had to stage an intervention of sorts and force you to kiss Karkat?” You roll your eyes, but nod once more. “We're passed that level of worry, but Karkat's decided he's going to deny it as much as you.”

You reach up, take hold of his wrist and move his hand away from your mouth. “There's nothing wrong, I don't know why we're even having this conversation.” You say, placing his hand on the table and leaning back so he wouldn't touch your face again. “If Karkat's not eating talk to him? I'm not anything to worry about, I can take care of my own shit, Karkat's your problem.”

“You're my problem.” He mumbles, and by his tone you can tell this is the end of the conversation. Finally. He grabs his backpack and stands, sighing at you. “Eat a fucking hamburger you twig.” He says and then leaves.

Once school is out you head straight to Terezi's. You're kind of tired of everyone, you don't feel like going home to see whatever Bro made or ordered for dinner, and you haven't gone to Terezi's since Friday, when Karkat convinced you to bring him along.

When you get there Latula answers like usual, this time she's on the phone and talking to who you would guess is her boyfriend. She's talking quickly, with calming words and shushing a little in between. She motions for you to be quiet, open the door and motions for you to head to Terezi's room.

Once in there she turns, a sort of worried look on her face.

She asks what's wrong and you shrug, remember she can't see and then say that it's nothing.

“Are you sure?” She pushes and you say that you're sure. “Don't lie to me, Dave.” She says with a sharpness to her voice that confuses you.

“I'm fine.” Is all you say and she sighs a little before shaking her head and dropping the topic.

“So I heard your little internet friend is coming.” She says, and you wonder who told her. “Leaving Friday, right? Why is it taking him three days to get here?”

“They're driving.” You explain. “He says his dad is scared of planes, which is a reasonable fear, they're flying metal boxes. Nothing says death trap more.” She nods a little. “Who told you?” You ask.

“Karkat.” She says, “He came to see me with a computer program to translate for him,” She chuckles, into her fingers a little. “Told me you've been weird since you found out.” She says and her hands are resting in her la, her smile turning somewhat sad.

“He's just being paranoid.” You tell her and her smile fades, it's somewhat more of a frown now.

“He's not a paranoid person.” She begins. “He's just worried about you.” She leans back in her chair, “I'm worried about you.” She tilts her head toward you, “And according to Karkat, your other friends are worried too? I don't know what's been happening with you, because you don't come to see me as often as you used to.” She sighs dramatically, “So is there anything you want to tell me?”

“No? Seriously, I'm fine. Did you finish that book you were reading?” You ask, and she lets it go, nodding and grabbing the thick book and dropping it into your hands.

“Yeah it's real good.” She says, “You're learning to read braille, right? I highly recommend it, it's really good.” You thank her quietly and drop the book into your back pack.

You were pretty sure you were going to go blind one of these years, and you were taking a preemptive strike to learn braille. Terezi had refused to teach you, and so you were learning on your own.

She smiles widely at you and the conversation strays to her books. She doesn't bring up Karkat's worries and shit again over the next three hours you sit with her, and by the time Latula shoves her head in to send you home you and Terezi are lying next to each other on her bed with an earbud in one ear and listening to the Billie Holiday CD she ordered that came in the mail earlier that day.

She's singing along, though she doesn't really know what she's saying. You told her that one day you'd tell her the lyrics to them but she insists she doesn't want to know. She thinks they're great even if she doesn't understand.

Latula shoos you off and you get home at just after eight and go to your room, sneaking past your brother who is crashed on the couch with the television playing a rerun of Bar Rescue.

You sit yourself at your computer and log onto pesterchum, hoping someone you can stand to talk to right now is online. You see that you've missed a number of messages from Karkat. There's a part of you that doesn't even want to look and see what he wants to bitch about now, but you open the window, allowing yourself a sigh before reading.

– carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:12 –

CG: THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT.  
CG: I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING GET ON THIS TOPIC BUT SOLLUX HAS LITERALLY TRAPPED ME HERE AND I AM WITHOUT CHOICE BUT TO TALK TO YOU AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.  
CG: I ARGUE THAT ME SENDING YOU MESSAGES WHEN YOU'RE OFFLINE IS POINTLESS AND HE DISAGREES, BUT WHATEVER.  
CG: FUCK HIM.  
CG: DID YOU EAT THE FUCKING CHICKEN NUGGETS LIKE I TOLD YOU TOO?  
CG: I WAS SERIOUS WHEN I TOLD YOU TO EAT THEM AND IF I FIND OUT YOU DIDN'T I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE A FUCKING CAT WITH A LASER POINTER.  
CG: SHIT, FINE, SO THE POINT IN ME TALKING TO YOU, OTHER THAN SOLLUX FUCKING MAKING ME, IS THAT  
CG: FUCK  
CG: WE'RE KIND OF ACTUALLY WORRIED AND APPARENTLY SOLLUX SAYING IT ISN'T ENOUGH.  
CG: BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO HAVE IT IN YOUR HEAD THAT WHEN HE STUCK HIS DIIOP[]\  
CG: VEFYWJGKJKKKKKKKKKKKK  
CG: YOU HAVVVVVVVBNM  
CG: I T IN YOUR HEAD

– carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:46 –

You stare at it, reading and rereading. You're curious of what happened near the end there. You double check to see if he's online and he is. You wonder if he's still with Sollux, who was probably hovering over him while he typed.

You consider it for a few minutes before logging out, browsing the internet for the next hour or two before attempting to go to sleep.

You lie there curled up in a blanket for an hour, tossing and turning and attempting to find a comfortable position. You haven't been able to sleep very easily lately it's pretty awful. You hate not being able to sleep, you lie awake and your thoughts get away form you and it gets to the point where you don't want to fall asleep because you'll lose your train of thought and you don't want to.

You growl furiously when two rolls around and shove off the bed, heading to the kitchen and getting a drink of water. It doesn't do much, and you check to see that your brother is still out like a light on the couch. The television is still going but now it's showing some cooking show.

You take your time in drinking, but eventually finish and head back to bed, managing to slip into half-sleep by the time three comes around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha there's a thing Karkat as goign to say but he didn't get to ahahaha now everyone is curious what it was ahahahaha.
> 
> So yeah. I'll let you guys wonder what Karkat was gonna say.
> 
> Oh and the entire conversation between Dave and Terezi is in Spanish but fuck if I was gonna put t all in fucking Spanish and translate later eurgh


	5. Never Trust a Moving Guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a bit longer to get out [whoops]
> 
> Oh, and in case anyone cares (all I do is reblog stuff so i don't know why anyone would care, but occassionally I'll say something I like to think is witty) my tumblr is snakesdonthavefeet.tumblr.com. Not sure if anyone's interested, but like if you want to ask me questions about the story or what have you.

You're sitting in the living room of your once furnished home, a pale spot on the floor where the couch used to be. Your dad is helping carry things to the moving truck, he'd expressly told you that you didn't have to worry your precious little head about helping get things in the truck. You're pretty sure one of the moving guys is giving you the googly eyes, but every time eye contact is made he looks away and hurries off, which of course isn't making him look less suspicious.

– ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:12 –

EB: I think one of the moving guys is checking me out.  
TG: okay i wasnt going to respond because im in school but what  
EB: it's exactly as i said.  
EB: my dad's helping get stuff into the truck and there's these two older dudes and then there's this one who's like twenty tops.  
EB: and he's checking me out.  
TG: how can you tell?  
EB: well when i'm not looking i can see him looking over at me kind of.  
EB: but when i look up he does that whole 'oh shit no i wasn't looking at you, i just happened to be glancing in your direction and i'm quickly averting my eyes because i was casually not looking at you' thing.  
TG: methinks you might be getting checked out egbert  
TG: why are you telling me?  
EB: because i can?  
EB: because weird moving guys are checking me out, is this not a call for concern?  
TG: i dunno is it?  
TG: is he cute?  
TG: do i have a reason to worry?  
TG: does he look like a pedophile getting ready to jump your underage bones and take your womanly innocence?  
EB: womanly innocence?  
TG: well is he?  
EB: yes, yes and no?  
EB: dave?  
EB: hello?  
EB: helloooooo?  
TG: sorry teacher almost caught me  
EB: oh okay.  
TG: but staying on the topic from before  
TG: you think hes cute what?  
EB: yeah?  
EB: i mean he's not like ew get away from me or anything.  
TG: didnt know you swung that way egbert  
EB: what can i say i'm full of surprises?  
TG: apparently  
TG: shit teachers looking i gotta go okay  
EB: okay, i'll see you in a few days!  
TG: see ya

– turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 11:23 –

You breathe a small sigh as your dad sits on the floor next to you, chugging a water bottle before giving a huff and setting it to the side next to him. “So who was that?” He asks and you just tell him Dave and he nods like he already knew. Probably did.

“Want to hear a joke?” He asks and you look at him, wary. He tells pretty bad jokes. Reluctant, you agree and he smiles a little.

“Someone asked me if I was indecisive and I told them I wasn't sure.” He says and as he chuckled you slap your hand to your forehead and groan.

“Where did you even hear that one?” You groan and he laughs at your expense.

“Work, funny enough.”

You offer a roll of your eyes and he smiles, ruffling your hair a slight bit. “Truck's all loaded up. Aside from a couple boxes and those are in the car with us. Your car is with the movers, so you are stuck with me the entire way there, hope you can handle it.”

You smirk, nodding, “Yeah, I think I can live with that.” You say and he gets to his feet.

“You said your friends were coming to see us off?”

“Oh. Yeah, just one. Or maybe two, I don't know if she's dragging anyone along or not.”

He nods. “Just come get me when you're all ready to go.”

Vriska shows about twenty minutes later, arm-in-arm with Tavros who has Gamzee attached to his other side. You're standing in the front lawn as they approach and Vriska breaks away, jogging ahead and throwing an arm over your shoulder. “You promise you won't forget us Egbert?” she asks, sticking out her lip in an exaggerated pout.

“Oh believe me it'll be hard to forget you weirdos.” You answer and receive a punch on the arm. As Tavros and Gamzee finally catch up a box is shoved into your chest and Tavros offers a shrug.

“It's from Nepeta and Equius.” He mumbles, “Nepeta said you're not allowed to open it until you get there.” You nod, looking the box over and humming a little, curious as to what it could possibly be.

“I'll tell them thanks later,” You say and smile.

Vriska looks at Gamzee and uses a hand to motion toward you. He pulls a small box out of the pocket of his sweater and grins widely. “Don't open it around your dad.” Is accompanied with a low chuckle and yeah you can basically guess what is in this one.

“I got you the best present.” Vriska says then. “Gamzee got you whatever, and Nepeta and Equius may have gotten you something, but my gift? My gift tops them all. And on top of it mine is safe for work and you can open here, so, here you go.” It wasn't even wrapped or boxed or anything, and the black book placed in your hands very clearly read 'adults only' but you saw the phrase 'joke book' in large white letters and 'ah'ed happily.

“I knew you'd love it.” She says with a smug grin. “I actually read a little bit of it and aside from an extremely sexist section of it, they're not really all that bad.” She tap the cover with a finger, “Go ahead, read us one.” She says and you open it to a random page.

“What did the leper say to the prostitute?” You read and dear god you know this is going to be bad. Vriska and Tavros ask what at the same time and as you read it aloud you about want to cry it's so horrible.

“Keep the tip.”

Vriska and Gamzee laugh, Tavros takes an extra beat, and you assume he's trying to remember what a leper is. It takes a moment but he starts laughing too, if not slightly more uncomfortable with the joke than Vriska and Gamzee.

“This is horrible,” You say to Vriska, smiling and she laughs.

“Isn't it though? It's so perfect for you, though, don't you think?”

“I love it.” You answer and she whispers 'yes' to herself before hugging you.

As she pulls away Tavros is offering a balled up hand to you. You hold your out and he drops a keychain into your palm. You lift it and it shines in the sunlight, there's a picture of the town on a map behind a thin clear stone on one side, on the other is a picture of you and your friends, taken prom night the previous year. “Oh, cool.” You say, smiling at the picture.

“Me and my da-er, mom, made it. He uh, she, actually did most of it, but uh, yeah.” He shrugs a little and you give him a one-armed 'guy hug' because last time someone tried to give him a regular hug he freaked out about them touching him.

“It's really cool, I like it. I'll put it on my car keys.” You hold it up and examine it once more, slipping it into your pocket, as it's the only one of the gifts that will fit in there.

“That's all the offerings we have.” Vriska says with a small smirk, “Don't get lonely without us.”

You laugh a little at her and she hugs you one more time, “I won't get lonely, I'll be sure to make plenty of new friends.”

“As well as that Dave kid, right?” Gamzee asks and you nod.

“Especially that Dave kid.” You say and Vriska lets go, stepping back.

“Surely you're ready to leave. Be sure to text me when you get there or I'll call someone to hunt you down, deal?” You agree, shaking her hand and they finally shoo you off, turning and heading back to school they had most definitely skipped out on early. Actually, they probably weren't going back to school, but they were headed in that general direction, so why the hell not assume as much.

You hop into the passenger seat of your father's car, two boxes in the back seat waiting for for arrival to Houston. You were very much looking forward to it, and you were insanely curious as to what Nepeta and Equius had gotten you as a going away present. You'd miss all of them

Your dad smiles at you as you finally pull out of the driveway, leaving the house for good, likely to never return. You hoped some other family will be able to call it home some day, and as your dad turns on the radio you sigh, settling back in your seat and eyeing the two small boxes that were currently in your possession. You put Vriska's book into the back seat, along with Nepeta and Equius' present. You took a peek inside to see that Gamzee had given you exactly what you had expected, a jump-drive you'd seen on his person many a times, with a sticker across the body that simply read 'porn :o)'.

You nodded to yourself, shaking your head and laced that in the back with the other two, crossing your arms and starting up a conversation with your father that would last the majority of the ride into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is also shorter than the others, sincerest apologies. The next chapter will be back to Dave's POV and is the chapter they finally meet in person, yay!
> 
> The mood shift between this chapter and the next is very intense btw. Just thought you ought to know.


	6. Smell the Cake. Hate the Cake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finally arrives, with a much better (or worse) outcome than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while, goodness! Sorry about that, but I think it's a pretty long chapter to compensate, I may be wrong though. It's five pages, though and typically I think they're only three or four, so yeah I'll say long chapter.

You always hated when you were having unexplainable pains and people asked you 'well what kind of pain?'.

You didn't feel particular kinds of pain you just felt pain, simple as that. It didn't come in a variety of flavors it came in one. Plain. Straight up, motherfucking one-hundred-percent-natural no artificial flavoring PAIN.

Unadulterated agony flaring from your insides and leaving you all but crippled as you hunched over the dining room table, too-warm hands rubbing tentative circles into your back as if attempting to soothe the ache. There's a loud sigh from the entrance to the kitchen and you turn your head to it's side, eyeing your brother as Feferi tries to ask you questions.

You're ignoring her now, too busy trying to read your brother from behind his shades, which you had grown to find positively ridiculous over the years. You're trying to figure out what he's thinking but he's a stoic motherfucker and he's not letting you in on his thought process. But as you stare him down you see the slightest crease in his forehead, like his eyebrows pinching together and you're more confused then when he was straight faced. Emotionless.

That slightest change of expression was so unlike him.

It worried you.

You finally sit up, looking to Feferi in front of you, her face pinched in worry as she seems to be waiting for an answer. She's holding one of your hands and they're too warm, they're hot, she looks like she'd run cold but just her hand on yours feels like it's burning you.

“Why are you guys here?” You mumble after a minute and she opens her mouth to reply but it snaps back shut. She leans to the side and looks over your shoulder, your reply coming from him.

“Because you're being weird, stupid.” Sollux mumbles and his hands finally detach from your back. “We're your friends we want to help, but you're not letting us.”

You feel your eyes roll much more than you actively go about the reaction, pulling your hands away from Feferi, who was too fucking hot right now and you didn't want to get burnt to a crisp because of her stupid hands. She doesn't let this last, though and her hands are back on yours, thin fingers wrapping around your wrists and it takes you a moment to realize she's checking your pulse. Why is beyond you, maybe she thinks it will help. It's just fucking fine, as far as you know.

“What's up with you, it's obviously a big deal if our kitchen is infested with teenagers.” You hear Bro say and you look at him, once more fighting against Feferi's hands. Sollux has moved around to sit next to her, “I don't like it when there are worrisome teenagers hangin' about, means there's something going on and you're not telling me about it.”

“I highly doubt it's any of your business.” You say to him and then look to Sollux and Feferi. “I doubt it's any of your business either.” You say and Sollux throws up his hands in defeat, grabbing hold of his hair and sighing loudly.

“Fuck it, if he doesn't want our help I'm not going to sit here and fret over it anymore.” He finally says, standing and crossing his hands “This is where I hop off the worry-train." He mimes washing his hands. "I'm done. Let's go, Fef.” He says and turns to leave.

“Just give me a minute?” She calls and he grunts in acknowledgment before leaving the kitchen. She then looks to your brother, smiling sadly at him. “A moment please?” She says and you watch him eye her for a moment before turning and leaving.

You're about to tell her to piss off but she's around and hugging you tightly.

“I've been there, you know.” She says, quietly enough that no one but you can hear. “It sucks, Dave. It hurts, you get really sick and sensitive and angry and it's not even close to worth it.” She pulls back, looking to where she can only assume your eyes are. “You get weak.” She continues, “Your hair falls out, you're tired but you can't sleep.” She hugs you again and tells you once more that it sucks. “No one's ever happy with themselves, but there are better ways than this.”

You feel your arms curl around her, and you wonder when this even happened. She'd been so thin ever since you met. “When?” You mumble and feel her sag a little.

“Sophomore year.” She answers simply. “The year my sister moved out. When Eridan... You know the story.” You nod a little. You wouldn't have guessed. You'd never even kind of assumed she had any sort of issues with her body. She gives you another squeeze before pulling back, smiling at you some more.

“You can talk to me whenever you want. You should come over some time over break.” She grins. “We can eat ice cream and watch shitty chick flicks? Or watch all the horrible Christmas specials.” She holds out a hand as if asking for a hand-shake and you almost reach but your hands stay in your lap, where they landed when she pulled away. “Sounds like a plan?” She asks when she realizes you're not going to shake it.

“Sure.” You mumble.

“We can talk more about it later, alright?” You offer a nod and she gives your shoulder an extra squeeze before leaving. The door closes and just like that you're by yourself again. Just the way you like it.

Until, of course, you remember your brother is still in the apartment. You stand, ready to head to your room but the sudden motion sends blood rushing in the wrong directions and you get a little dizzy for a moment, closing your eyes and waiting for the head rush to dissipate.

It took longer than you thought, leaving you standing helplessly for a few minutes, gripping your head as everything settled itself back into place.

You feel yourself grunt in annoyance, finally able to stand up straight and you go to your room. You check the time, and see that it's hardly even noon. You're tired though. You want to sleep but you can't bring yourself to close your eyes. Like Feferi had said, you were tired but couldn't sleep. You don't think you'd gotten a wink for a couple days now.

You catch your reflection in the small mirror hanging crookedly on the wall. You admit to yourself that you look like shit, your dark freckles a stark contrast to your pathetically pale skin. You take off your shades and toss them onto your bed, prodding with a careful finger at the bags under your eyes. You sigh, tugging at the skin and rolling your eyes once more.

You collapse onto your mattress, rolling a few times to get yourself wrapped up in the blankets around you.

There's a chime from your phone then, buried deep inside your recently made cocoon, stuffed into the back pocket of your jeans. It's a chore to get a hold of but you manage it, unlocking it and reading the single text from John reading 'just crossed the border into texas :B' before tossing it aside. You're not sure where it landed, and you don't particularly care.

You really want to do nothing more than curl up in the blanket wrap you'd made for yourself and sleep for a long time. A long long time. You wanted to wake up eventually. But not for a long time. Maybe you'd wait, and wake up in a few years, when you didn't have to deal with school anymore. No school, none of your obnoxious peers who seemed to pick up on your recent self-consciousness and dove like vultures to pick at the dead remains of your self-esteem.

You'd never had to deal with this shit before, but the others, the jocks and the ghetto wannabes in particular seemed to have a sixth sense for insecurities and decided the easiest way to get to you was to pinch your muffin top and laugh when you squealed in surprise at the contact.

They were right, you'd give them that. Bullying was an art form around here, there was no lunch money shit, there was no swirlies, they all seemed to know just how to get into someone's head and drive them to destroy themselves and you were just a new victim, and they were able to figure out that the small pinches or glancing touches to the softer spots of your body made you feel more horrendous than ever before.

There were the not-so-subtle few though, and they got to you in there own way, one jabbing you in the stomach with a large finger and telling you you were supposed to laugh like the dough-boy you were.

Sure, you punched his lights out, but the comment managed to burrow fuck-deep into your brain for the rest of the day. It took root and kept you on the fence between blinding rage and unbearable depression. On one hand you wanted to kill something, on the other you wanted to cry.

You didn't know when you'd become so fucking emotional, your brother basically raised you to be an apathetic douche canoe. You blame Sollux for that. You were a model of apathy before his ass came along and suddenly you had 'feelings'.

There are often times you wonder what exactly stirred the feelings, the guy's a bigger asshole than even you half the time.

You suppose there must have been something that made him bearable considering. Well considering everything. Thinking back on it it makes sense, you guess.

You don't like thinking about it though.

You lie in your bed in silence for hours, your mind drifting from topic to topic, you think of anything from your friends to how the fuck you're going to pass pre-cal and back again, all in attempt to calm your mind so you can catch a few hours of shuteye before John shows up.

You get the feeling you're not going to get any sleep as the hours pass with not even a little yawn. Every now and then John will send you a message, saying that he just passed by this or just drove through such and such a city. You want to respond to some of them but the words are just not coming to you and even when they are you can't bring yourself to go to the effort of typing out the reply.

Finally you receive the message 'we just got into houston your ass better be excited.'

This time you muster up the energy to respond.

SENT; my ass is all atwitter waiting for you  
RECEIVED; i sure fucking hope so. i can't wait to get out of this damn car.  
SENT; gimme a minute getting over the fact that you didnt ask what atwitter meant  
RECEIVED; thats because i know what it means, stupid.  
SENT; well excuuuse me  
SENT; do you know where you're living?  
RECEIVED; yeah, some shitty apartment complex on  
RECEIVED; okay dont remember the street name but i can send you a picture or something?  
SENT; sure  
RECEIVED; Media content in this message.  
SENT; whoa whoa whoa  
SENT; hold up  
RECEIVED; what?  
SENT; dude thats my building  
RECEIVED; what? no way.  
SENT; yes way  
RECEIVED; are you messing with me?  
SENT; no man thats my building  
RECEIVED; well my dad says we'll be there in five minutes so come and meet us at the door or something.  
RECEIVED; unless of course you're lying to me.  
SENT; consider it done dude  
SENT; i will be there waiting  
SENT; and you will see that that is indeed my building  
RECEIVED; well then i'll see you shortly.  
RECEIVED; unless of course you're lying to me.

You force yourself out of bed, kicking away layers of blankets and shoving clothes out of the way on your floor in search of your shoes.

You pull them on and leave the apartment, heading for the stairwell. Sure, there was absolutely nothing stopping you from using the elevator. But you'd rather spend three minutes climbing down stairs and two minutes waiting, than less than a minute down the elevator and almost five minutes waiting. You preferred to be occupied.

You take your well deserved time on the way down, leaning on the wall next to the mailboxes and checking the clock on your phone every fifteen seconds. If his ass doesn't show you're going to feel stupid and.

Shit, forget it, you're just going to sit here until he either shows up or doesn't. Worst case scenario he doesn't end up walking through those doors. And seriously, other than him not letting you live it down, you could be fine with that.

A few minutes pass and a tall older man walks in, carrying a single box and the entire lobby is suddenly overwhelmed with the smell of cake. It makes your stomach turn and you feel yourself glaring at the man behind your shades and he approaches you, the scent radiating from him.

“Excuse me, young man.” The man says to you and you put on your 'respect your elders face' and give him some sort of innocent little kid who totally didn't just draw all over the walls smile and ask him what he needs.

“I'm looking for. Oh. How did my son say it?” He seems to think for a moment, there's a furrow in his salt and pepper eyebrows as he attempts to figure out what it was he's trying to say. “Blast, I had it just a moment ago.” He says, shifting the box to on arm and pinching his chin in thought.

Dear god who even was this guy.

Wait.

“Mr. Egbert?” You'd seen (and shared on brief (very brief) conversation) with the man before, and he looks from you to the door and sighs.

“Sincerest apologies for my slip up, John gave me a doozy of a joke and it merely escaped me.” He says and then turns around, making a 'come' motion with his hand.

You see John's dorky face step around the corner and roll his eyes dramatically before he steps into the building.

“Sending your dad to do your dirty work? I thought I knew you better than that.” You say with a click of your tongue and a shake of your head.

John snorts at you, waving a hand. “It would have been great if he hadn't messed it up.” He says and sticks his tongue out at his dad, who returns the sentiment with just a little extra 'pbbt'.

“Do I not even get a hello hug, Jesus, John you're hurting my feelings right now.” You say after the two laugh at each other and John turns to you, over-dramatically dropping the box that he was carrying and throwing his arms around and holy shit why does he have to be so fucking tall.

With his arms thrown around your shoulders your forehead meets collar bones and the son of a bitch is bony as hell, why did you even want a hug holy crap. “You're so bony. I think you may poke a hole in me, and I will fly away like a balloon.”

Despite this, you do hug him back.

Admittedly this hug was a little too “intimate” for a first time hug, but he started it and you're just going to go with it. He laughs at you and you end up with your ear against his chest just long enough to hear the thudding in his chest and realize it's a lot faster than yours and you wonder why that is, as he pulls away.

“You're one to talk, you're a freaking twig compared to when we were talking on Skype.”

“As heartwarming as this is, John, I would really like if we could get at least most of our things to the apartment.”

He lets go of you, and it takes literally every ounce of effort not to audibly protest the lack of warmth, but there's no more contact and John's laughing, and saying 'right right' to his dad before asking you if you want to help them get stuff up to their place.

You laugh at him, loudly and he rolls his eyes, punching you in the arm. “Which apartment are you in?”

“Six-A” You tell him.

“Five-C. We can hang out later or tomorrow or something, okay?” You nod in agreement, sweet fist bumps are shared, and you leave the Egberts to their unpacking, the smell of baked goods not following you up the stairs, but you can still feel your stomach turning.

You get to your door and, calmer than you were aware you were capable of, make your way to the bathroom and expel what little contents of your stomach there is. The acid burns and you wash it down by chugging an entire bottle of water and make a mental note to drink more of that shit. That's some good shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the reason this took so long is because A) School, B) Procrastination, C) POKEMON X D) I started writing shrter fanfiction (some may have read them already) and they're in a group called Infirmity. Mostly short fanfics in which the character have some sort of disability or disorder (The idea for the project was actually this and a story I wrote a few months ago called CatCat)
> 
> If anyone is curious about that, the collection is on here and there's a tumblr where you can make requests if you want (hsinfirmity.tumblr.com) the stories are also on there, btw.
> 
> (so is anyone wondering what the hell up and happened with Dave and Sollux yet because OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING WENT DOWN /evil author cackle)


	7. Battle Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Dave talk about stuff and there's lots of dialogue, sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much dialogue agh

“Dude these cheat codes are actually kind of cool.” John says from his seat at his desk. You nod from his bed and smirk.

“Hells yeah, man. I love being able to play as the infected by myself.”

“We should definitely play against each other sometime, though.” John says with a grin. “Just got both of the games a few weeks ago, we could have fun doing that.”

You have to agree. And you shove your laptop off your lap, kicking your legs over the edge of his bed. You spend more time in John's apartment than your own, simply because it's bigger. You and Bro live in a one bedroom, the Egberts a two. It's more spacious even if the room John lives in is no bigger than your own.

“So what do you and your brother usually do for Christmas?” John asks after a while, quitting the zombie game and turning on his swivel chair to face you.

Honestly? You couldn't remember the last time there was anything special about Christmas.

“Bro gives me a present, I give Bro a present, roof strife, video games.” You list of each on your fingers and John gives you this crooked little smile.

“That's it?” He asks, wheezing a small laugh at your expense and you sort of shrug, crossing your legs, and nodding and shrugging again because it's pretty much all you've known when it comes to Christmas. “Seeing as we've only just moved into town I can't invite you to a proper Egbert Christmas, but I can still invite you to hang out tomorrow and maybe bring your brother?” He shrugs then, “We usually have family come over, but like I said, we just got here. If you guys want to come and hang out for a few hours? I think it'd be a cool kind of welcome to the neighborhood thing.”

You nod a bit to him and shrug, and say “I guess that can be done. We'll come over, do some present shit. Bro's still going to demand a Christmas strife, so we won't be able to stick around too long.” You see his face shift a bit, looking a bit disappointed as he gave a small 'oh'. “I mean after the strife I can. Come back. Or something. If you want.” He smiles a little bit, nodding at you and you feel this little flutter in your stomach and you can't tell if it's nausea or the fact that _he totally wants to hang out with you that much_.

You keep your cool, though, the last thing you need is for him to see you giggle like a middle school girl about getting to hang out with your best bro on Christmas. So you nod in response and just say “Alright, cool.” and he turns in his chair once more to the computer and grins.

“Alright, you showed me cheats for Left 4 Dead, I'm gonna show you a thing in Portal, deal?”

“Whatever it is you may want to show me on Portal I can almost guarantee that I have seen it.”

“You don't know that.” He says simply, opening the game on his computer and telling you to sit your ass down so he can home school it in the ways of Portal. You hold up your hands in a defensive gesture, tell him to calm his lactation-domes and tell him you're gonna go get some water.

You return after a little longer than intended (you had no clue where the fuck the cups were and ended up having to ask dad Egbert about it) with a cup of the shit that was basically keeping you from puking pure acid and John, as Chell, is no-clipping just above the floor of the first test and waiting patiently for you. You lean on the back of his chair and sip from your drink, motioning for him to go on with whatever it is he thinks you haven't seen.

He does admit that it's not like a huge secret or anything and flies out of the stage, into the black abyss that surrounds and you watch him fly around for a while before he finally stops, makes a little 'aha' noise and adjusts where he's looking and from the black space of nothing blooms bright blues, reds and oranges that shift and dance around each other before it all just becomes blue.

“It's like an acid trip, sans acid.”

“Have you ever even been on an acid trip?” You ask, setting your half-empty glass on the desk.

“Yeah, once.” You lean over the chair and quirk an eyebrow at him, and that brought up more questions than it answered and you hope you can convey them with your single look. “What? It was an accident, alright! I didn't know it was drugs.” You try your hardest but are unable to bite back a laugh at his way of whining out that defense.

“You're kind of stupid sometimes aren't you?” You ask with a chuckle and he gives you a clearly unamused look. He calls you a comedic genius and you thank him sincerely and he shakes his head, snorting at you.

“So other than video games what do you want to do today?” He's shut his computer and turned again in the chair, once more facing you and he looks up in thought.

“Dude I just got here two days ago, I have no idea what there is to do around here.” You nod, trying to figure out something, anything, that you could do. Honestly you don't even know how you manage to occupy yourself when you're not in school. You hate school, sure, but it's a distraction from the fact that there's nothing to do.

“We could hang out with my friends? I bet I could guilt trip Karkat and Sollux into letting us go to their house.”

“Karkat and Sollux? Didn't I meet one of them once?” You try to think, but you never gave any of your friends his chum handle, and never once let them talk to him through your chat.

“Uh. Dunno, what did they type like?”

“Caps, or like, doubling the letter i, and replacing s's with twos.”

“Oh so you've talked to both of them.” You say, nodding to yourself. “How did they get your handle?” You ask and he offers a small shrug.

“Just said they were friends of Dave and they seem okay enough. And I'll meet them eventually, going to the same school and everything.”

“That mean you don't want to hang out with them?” He offers a sort of shrug, before rocking his head indecisively and finally giving it a small shake.

“Kind of just want to hang out with you.” He says after a few minutes. “I mean it's one thing to talk about stuff online but there's some stuff we haven't actually talked about and I'm kind of curious.” Wow, okay, he wants to know things about you. Like actual things and he wants to know them.

“Uh. Sure? I guess that sounds cool. What did you want to know?”

“What's too personal to ask about?”

“Parents, weight, eyes and sex-life.”

“See now those are the things I want to know about. Way to screw yourself over, Dave.”

“Ask about anything else.”

It takes you two a minute but you decide that how it's going to work is you're just going to take turns asking questions and answering, and you and him agree that you'll stay away from the topics that are too personal and share the topics that have been labeled as such. You figure it's one way to do shit, no harm in it at least.

You decide to let him go first.

“Do you now, or have you ever, owned any pets?”

Kind of a dumb question and you nod a bit. “Had a dog when I was ten. Chihuahua-dachshund mix. She had the really short front legs and really long back legs and giant radar dish chihuahua ears.” You place your hands on the top of your head, twitching them side to side like you'd seen her ears do a number of times. Your hands fall to your lap and you shrug a bit. “Got hit by a car.”

He frowns a bit. “That sucks.”

“Same question. Except, I realize you don't have any pets right now.”

He seems to think about it for a moment. “Uhm... My mom had a poodle. When she died the dog just got really depressed and died of heart break or something, it was really sad. We got a cat. She got out, got knocked up and a couple months later we had seven cats. We had a couple of fish for a while.” He twirls his hands around as if trying to jog his memory and it's actually kind of cute. “I had a rat for a few months. Then more fish. And then another cat. This last cat, we had to give him to one of our neighbors because we were moving all the way down here and it was just. Easier to leave him behind.” He gives a sort of shrug and you wonder if he secretly misses the cat.

You bet he does.

“Alright, my turn.” He says and folds his arms across his chest, swinging side to side in his chair for a moment as he thinks. “Favorite movie?” He asks and you actually have to think about this one for a minute or two.

“I guess. I'd have to say Sinister. It's this insane horror flick. One of those ones where the ending makes you go 'what the fuck' because everyone dies.” You nod seriously and he seems to nod a little bit too.

“I think I've seen that one, that the one where he finds the videos in his attic?”

“Of the families being killed, yeah.”

He nods a little bit, “Yeah. I like that one. It was pretty good.” He nods again and then smiles. “Okay, your turn.”

You give an over exaggerated noise of thought and tap your chin thoughtfully with your pointer finger.

“Are you a virgin?” You ask and he barks a laugh.

“Jesus, that escalated quickly. And here I thought we were gonna dance around those kinds of questions.” He says but doesn't make like he won't answer you. “You mean like any specific thing or just like virgin in general?”

“I dunno, virgin in general.” You say with a shrug and he gives his head a little shake.

“Nope.” And he leaves it at that.

“This is the one you choose not to elaborate on?”

“You'll just have to wait your turns and ask more questions.” He answers with a smirk and you have to admit he's kind of a diabolical genius, because now you're curious. “That's kind of unfair, you get to ask me that stuff but you put your sex life on the list of things too personal to ask about.”

You raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs at you, loudly and says that seeing stoic faced you and suddenly an eyebrow just appearing over your shades is the funniest shit he's seen in a long time.

“Fine,” You concede. “You get two sex-life questions. Use them wisely.”

“Are YOU a virgin?” He throws back and yeah you should have seen that one coming.

You don't give much more than a sigh and a small mumbled 'no'. Before he seems satisfied.

“So who'd you lose it to?”

“Cousin's friend.” He says and you take a moment to reminisce when he decided to list every pet he'd had since he could remember.

“Am I not getting any names?” You ask and he just shakes his head. “That's just plain mean.” You say after a moment and he laughs at you, hand over mouth and he says 'okay okay my turn' and then looks up like he's thinking.

“Still got one sex question left,” You remind him and he snorts.

“Still got two I wanna ask.” He says. “Oh the woes of being John Egbert.” He adds with a dramatic lean back in the chair.

“Front or back?” he finally asks and you legitimately choke on the breath you were breathing at the question.

You're torn between 'what the fuck kind of question is that' and just telling him because, seriously worst case scenario he figures out you like dudes, but honestly, he does too so would that really be such a big deal.

There's also the fact that you're supposed to be all kinds of cool and him asking this question just completely crushed that facade. Lie, you think, you breathed wrong. You get a little 'sorry about that' out between small coughs and once the coughing has relinquished it's hold on you and you don't suddenly feel like throwing up you mumble a small 'back' and watch his face contort in surprise. Not disgusted surprise, just. Surprise. Like he wasn't sure what to expect but it wasn't really that.

“Same question.” You say and he shrugs, rather indifferent.

“Front.” Well then.

“I'll try to avoid the sex questions now, didn't know it was such a big deal, dude.” He says and sort of smirks at you, pulling his knees up and resting his folded arms atop them. You get a good look at his arms and notice there's a scar going from the back of his wrist around to the front and you wonder what that is from. It doesn't look like a self-harm scar, not really. You don't imagine John would ever have self-harmed anyways, and decide that's what your next question will be.

“Okay, so... How old is your brother?” You deem that an odd question.

“Why?”

“I dunno, I just can't really tell. On one hand he seems like he'd be in his twenties, on the other he seems like he's be in his thrities. Just need some clearing up.”

“Oh, okay. He's actually thirty-three.” You tell him and he nods, like this is an interesting fact. On some level, though you can't blame him, your brother is kind of an enigma.

A riddle wrapped in an enigma.

Wrapped in a smuppet.

Point being; he's a confusing motherfucker.

“What's that?” You ask, pointing on your own wrist to where his scar is and he looks down, looking from one to the other before lifting his left am and pointing, a questioning look on his face. You offer a little nod and he looks between you and the scar before laughing humorlessly and shaking his head.

“It's a really stupid, long story.”

“I've got all day, bro.” You say and he seems to nod a little bit, as if he knew, and was worried, you'd say something like that.

“Would you believe me if I said existential crisis?” He says with a chuckle.

“Maybe. If you'll go into more details.”

He shifts a little bit, clearing his throat softly. It's not a comfortable sound, more like he's trying to make himself comfortable. “Ah, couple years ago I went through the whole, 'oh shit I might be gay' thing and it was kind of a big deal to me at the time. Before then I hadn't really put much thought into it and I was pretty sure I was completely into girls.” He shrugs now, “And I watched tv and saw what happened to the gay kids on shitty television shows and so yeah, I kind of freaked out.” He just shrugs it off, but you know this isn't something to shrug about.

“Wait so you did that to yourself?” You ask for clarification and he nods, picking up his arms and turning them and there are more not quite as visible, but they're there when you look. “Well shit.” You sigh. You. Hadn't expected that. Like at all. It kind of freaks you out to think about, that there had once been a time when your best friend was scared enough to hurt himself. “That's... Ow.”

He shrugs a bit.

“And you don't try to hide them or anything?” You ask and he looks at you with a look that says 'well why would I?' and you just stare back hoping for an answer.

“It's a thing that happened.” John mumbles and lets his feet sit on the floor once more, crossing his arms, “People ask, I answer, but very few people ever actually ask.”

This is not the way you expected this conversation to go.

“No one asks because there's a depressingly high amount of people who go through it at some point, for one reason or another. And everyone realizes it's a pretty personal thing. Some people are really touchy about it.” He seems to have this shit down and you can't help but feel jealous.

Why can't you be that comfortable in your own skin? Why do you have to feel the extremely painful insecurities of being you while he's just like 'oh yeah I used to cut but I'm totally fine now'?

You think he notices because then he asks you if you've ever done it.

You don't say anything and he waits for a few minutes.

“Your stun silence is veeeery reassuring.” For a moment you hate how well he does that voice before you crack a smirk, snorting at him.

“If you ever do that voice at me ever again I will punch you in the mouth.” You say and he laughs at you. “Do you still want me to answer that question though.”

“Well if you choose not to I'll know the answer anyways.”

“Touche.” You answer and sigh dramatically, slouching and leaning your elbows on your knees. “Yeah. For a while. Like. A year ago? Maybe less. I think the last time was shortly before I met you.” You shrug a little at that and he looks surprised and you continue. “Never actually cut myself though, just kind of... Do you remember that game from elementary school where they would take an eraser to the back of your hand and say the alphabet while they rubbed at it?” You see him wince a little at that. “Petty much just did that, just scratched myself, basically.”

He looks a little upset by this and you watch him cringe again.

“It really sucks, doesn't it.” It's not a question, but you nod anyways.

“What did you use?” You ask. Since you're on the topic why the fuck not ask the intrusive questions. Today's obviously all about pushing your boundaries thanks to his ass.

“Pencil sharpener blades.” He says. “Except this one,” He then points to the one that raised the original question, “That one was a steak knife.” He puts on a pretty much entirely forced smile, “That one was the relapse one, and my dad caught me. He hasn't really mentioned it.” There's this little pinch of genuine in that smile that says he's happy the man has never brought it up, and yeah, you'd be happy too.

“Did the scratching leave scars?” He asks and you nod. “Can I see?” You're not sure what to make of this request, and convey this with a quizzical eyebrow, and he holds up a hand, “Hey, mine are all out in the open for your viewing pleasure, sue me for being a little curious.” He lowers it a little then, “I won't force you to show me or anything, don't worry.”

You offer a little sigh and decide there's no harm in it, adopting his mindset of 'it is a thing that happened' and that there's nothing you can change about it. “Fine.” You mumble, grabbing your right sleeve and tugging it up just above where the scars stop. He stands from the chair, sitting himself next to you on the bed and ogling your shoulder like it's so fucking fascinating.

“Did they hurt?”

“Kind of the point, Egbutt.”

“I meant, like, emotionally or something.”

“I have no emotions.”

“I beg to differ,” He mumbles and you feel fingers ghosting over your skin, running over the small patches of stiff scar tissues. “Can I ask why?”

You realize now that he's not playing the back and forth thing, he just wants to ask you questions. Which is all well and good, you didn't know what to ask about anymore. You also have this bad feeling you're going to be willing to tell him anything and you're not sure if you should be scared or not.

Sure, you want to know each other but at the same time you're not really sure about someone knowing that much about you. Being that emotionally open with someone makes you all levels of uncomfortable.

“Shitty relationship drama.” You admit and he finally stops touching leaning forward to try and catch your eye. You meet the bright blue eyes, and he looks like he has a question on his tongue.

“So you seriously have freckles everywhere, huh?” He asks, returning his eyes back to your arm. You breathe a mental sigh of relief that he's changing the subject.

“Yeah, basically.” You look at your elbow and tug up the other sleeve, revealing an equally speckled appendage and he nods with what looks like approval.

“I like freckles.” He mumbles after a moment before standing again and reclaiming his seat at his desk chair. He watches you for a moment, smiling a tiny bit and makes a motion that you realize means that it's your turn to ask a question.

“Favorite Pokemon.” You say and he leans back a bit, visibly relaxing.

“That's a tough one, but I'm gonna have to go with Reuniclus.” He nods to himself, and is about to start another sentence when the sound of an elephant dying decides to rear it's ugly head.

It takes a moment of him staring for you to realize that was your stomach growling.

“Hungry?” He asks and you stupidly look between your stomach and him before shaking your head.

“No, man, I'm good.” You say and stand up, “Actually I should probably be getting back upstairs. Bro needed me to do him a favor but told me to just come whenever it was convenient.” You nod a bit and he looks. Disappointed. You didn't want him to be disappointed just because you were leaving, was that even anything to actually be upset about? “Sorry, dude.” You grab your computer from the end of his bed, tucking it under your arm.

He shakes his head a little bit waving a hand at you. “No big deal. You're welcome any time.” He grins at you, “And you're gonna talk to your brother about hanging out with us tomorrow right?”

You wave a dismissive hand and make your way to the chair. “You know it.” You say and hold up a fist, which he promptly bumps, and you head out of his room, barely avoiding running right into Mr. Egbert in the hallways. You apologize, and he tells you it's no big deal and asks you if John talked to you about coming over tomorrow and you laugh a little to yourself because Dadbert was the one behind it all along. You tell him you'll talk to Bro, he gives your shoulder a pat and continues to the room you haven't set foot in and you finally make it out the door.

The girl across the hall is leaving and you share a passing greeting as you make your way up a flight of steps and to the door of the apartment you share with Bro. Your attempt to open the door is met with failure, and a jiggle shows you the door is locked.

Truthfully, you didn't even need to leave John's place, you just didn't want your stomach making whale noises while you were in John's room with John there and being John and probably silently judging your fat ass for making whale noises in his bedroom.

You give a somewhat annoyed sigh, turn from the door and head for the roof instead. You're not sure where Bro is and you have no idea when he'll get home, but you'd rather go to the roof, than sit in front of the door like a pathetic person who just got locked out of their own apartment.

Even though that's pretty much exactly what you are right now.

Maybe not quite so pathetic though.

You ride the elevator as high as it will go, and eventually make your way to the stairway that leads to the roof (which is supposed to be locked all the time, but your Bro is persuasive when it comes to shit like a place to kick your ass) and you take a long deep breath of the cold as shit Houston air. You think it may be in the thirties today. As much as you love snow, you do secretly hope it doesn't get any lower.

You opt for a seat on the edge, watching the cars drive past below and the occasional plane fly overhead, families all making their way into town last minute for the holidays. You try to remember when the last time you were on a plane was.

Probably not since you were six or seven.

You don't remember what exactly what it was for.

You wonder then if John's ever been on a plane, what with his dad's apparent phobia of the things. Maybe never, you think.

You'll have to ask him sometime.

You allow yourself a long sigh, shoving your hands in your pocket and kicking your legs over the ledge, once more looking down the fifteen floor drop and wondering momentarily how the hell anyone ever killed themselves by jumping off of a building. That shit seems ridiculous.

Your torn from your musings by a soft chime coming from your pocket. You check the sender, see Karkat and weigh your options of respond or not respond before finally opening the message.

RECEIVED; HEY DICKMUNCH WHERE ARE YOU?  
SENT; why  
RECEIVED; (1/2)BECAUSE I BROUGHT YOUR FUCKING PRESENTS. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU DON'T WANT THEM. IN WHICH CASE I WILL HAPPILY TAKE THEM HOME AND GIVE THEM TO SOLLUX'S BROTHER, AND MAYBE HE, IN HIS BR  
RECEIVED; (2/2)AIN DEAD STATE, WILL MIRACULOUSLY FIND A USE FOR THE GIFT YOU SO HUMBLY DECLINED.  
SENT; im on the roof man calm the fuck down  
RECEIVED; I'LL BE UP IN A MINUTE THEN.

You think that thing about calling Sollux's brother brain dead was a tad bit rude, there were definitely other words he could have used.

You decide to think of a list in the time it takes before you hear the door behind your swing open and hear Karkat curse very loudly, exclaiming that it's “--fucking cold, why the hell are you even out here!?” and slam the door behind himself. He sits on the ledge next to you, shoving a couple of poorly wrapped boxes into your waiting hands and then shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Seriously, though, why the hell are you up here?”

“Bro went out, left my key in the apartment.”

“So you chose freezing your ass off over sitting in the hallway?” You nod a bit and then hear him sigh. “I thought you couldn't stand the cold.” You shrug. “And I forgot to mention I let Sollux wrap your presents hence the fucking mess they are.” He says and you look at them. They're not that bad, and you feel yourself shrug again. “Why aren't you talking to me?”

“Because it's cold and I'm preserving my energy.” You're pretty sure he doesn't believe that shit for a second, but miraculously he gets that you're not in the mood to talk and lets it go, and simply sits there on the roof with you, watching cars drive past on the street, floors below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a different note, if you wanna know what I listen to when I write this story in particular I'm making a playlist of the songs I take inspiration from owo
> 
> http://grooveshark.com/#!/playlist/Through+Thick+And+Thin/91839486
> 
> There's only like seven songs on there right now, but I'll add more as I go, ya digg?  
> (coughcoughI'll also happily take a song suggestionscoughcough)


	8. I Want Our Song to Be Cheesy and Romantic But I'm Afraid You Won't Like It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even ask me where that title came from I don't know  
> Side note: http://25.media.tumblr.com/9639e8bdaa2e4d7f3364f51355c8dc5b/tumblr_mvijhaF0T41rxkkv2o1_r1_400.jpg  
> and: http://25.media.tumblr.com/867d13421c33fb35b041a3ade72d5139/tumblr_mvijhaF0T41rxkkv2o2_r1_400.jpg  
> I'm way too tired to think of something snarky to put here  
> But like  
> Enjoy the chapter.  
> The kissing should be starting pretty soon.  
> Probably next chapter.
> 
> This is the chapter in which John says 'tit' 'nippley' and'breast' all in one paragraph.

You and Karkat sit together on the roof until well past midnight. You two don't talk except for when you ask him when he needs to go home and he says it doesn't really matter. The sun is actually beginning to peek over the horizon by the time you notice he's passed out, leaning against your shoulder.

You sigh loudly, leaning back against the AC and look from him to where the sun is peeking up and back again before nudging him.

“You're gonna catch a cold, dude.” You say and he mumbles nonsense in response. “I'm gonna call Sollux to pick you up, okay?” He mumbles again, shifting and curling closer to your side.

Your phone has just enough battery to contact Sollux and inform him of Karkat's presence and he sounds relieved when he tells you he's on his way over. You tell him to come up to the roof and he agrees, hanging up and you stare at the phone for a moment before shoving it back into the pocket of your sweater.

You're tired. Your eyes hurt, and your stomach aches from emptiness, but you don't really care about that part. You think that you may be able to fall asleep but you can't, you're supposed to be all Christmas-spirit-y in two hours.

You let Karkat sleep on your arm as you wait the half-hour it takes Sollux to get there and slam the door of the roof open. You hear a long sigh as he makes his way to you, bundled in a black and yellow striped scarf with a hat to match. An embarrassing girl hat, with fucking bee wings on the back, you actually laugh, but he pays you no mind. “When did he get here?” He asks, pointing to Karkat.

You look to the sleeping dude on your arm, hair almost too black to see the individual strands even this close up. You smile a little, looking back up to Sollux. “Seven, eight?” You say, shrugging your free elbow and Sollux lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Really wish you'd called when he got here.” He says, crouching next to Karkat and nudging him until brown was visible between the sleepy eyelids. He saw Sollux and smiled sleepily, reaching out and grabbing onto his arms.

“G'morning Sollux.” He slurs tiredly and you can't help a little chuckle.

“Good morning, dumbass.” Sollux replies and the very sleepy Karkat manages to lean forward enough to wrap his arms around Sollux's neck.

“We should have sex when we get home.” He suggests and you watch Sollux cringe.

“If this is him sleepy I can't wait to see him drunk.” You say. Sollux shoots a glare your way, shoving his hands under Karkat's butt and lifting him with only a little stumble as he stood.

You hear Karkat mumble more as he wraps his limbs around the scrawny one carrying him, and watch as Sollux's face turns red and you let your imagination fill in the blanks. “I think he's serious.” You say with a grin and a waggle of your eyebrows and he sighs.

“Yeah, I know, it's just weird. What would our parents think and all that shit.” You laugh a little.

“I highly doubt your dad and his dad would have any issues with you guys being gay. And you're not even actually related.” He offers only a shrug in answer and you shrug back. “Anyways, you guys need to go home. I need to get back downstairs, I think Bro may actually worry about where I am.”

“Of course,” He says and you can hear the sarcasm in his voice, “who else is he gonna pick pointless fights with.” He actually sort of smiles at you and it's weird, it makes you think there's something wrong with him. “Get the door for me, would ya.” He says, nodding to the door.

You manage to get on your feet, blood rushing upwards and throwing your balance way off as your vision twists and you lean against the AC unit to try and regain stability.

The next moment you're staring at the orange and blue sky, and Sollux is crouched over you, looking a bit worried and you can't really tell why for a moment.

You reach up a hand, shoving his face away and groan a little, telling him to get out of your face as you sit up. You eye Karkat, who's awake now, and staring at you with wide eyes and you shake your head in attempts to clear away the pain in the back of it. “Did you just fucking pass out?” Karkat asks and you look from him to Sollux a few times before asking Sollux how long you were out.

“Just a few minutes?” He says and checks his phone. “Like seven minutes.” He says and you groan, rubbing the back of your head.

“That hurt, remind me not to do that again.” You shove yourself up into standing and point to Karkat. “When did he wake up?”

“When you DFO'd the fucker dropped me.” Karkat answers.

“Are you okay?” Sollux asks and you nodnodnod a few times before realizing you're doing it and you just wave at the door.

“You guys need to go home. Your dads might get worried.” You say and the two share a long look, Karkat shakes his head a little and Sollux shrugs and Karkat's eyes thin into a glare and Sollux shakes his head.

Sollux finally turns to you and gives a hesitant nod. “Yeah, they might be. Let's go, KK.” He says and begins to walk to the door, grabbing Karkat's hand on the way past to pull him along, despite Karkat's small resistance to moving. There's a glare pointed at you and Karkat brings two fingers to his eyes, turning them to you and then back a couple times as the door closes and they're gone.

You decide to hang out on the roof for a few more minutes.

 

You get to your door as John is heading up the stairs and he smiles wide at you as he takes the last few steps, towering over you and grinning this stupidly happy grin and you feel like shit because you seriously sat on the roof all night, the dude could at least save some of that enthusiasm until after you've showered.

His smile falters slightly, and he looks a little concerned now. “You slept on the roof?”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Was it meant to be in your head?”

“Yeah. But no, I didn't sleep on the roof. Just sat up there. Karkat slept up there, though.”

“Oh. Uh. Okay.” He chuckles into his hand and takes a step back. “I guess I'll 'save all this enthusiasm' for later, then. Just come on down whenever you're ready.” He smiles, waving at you and turning, heading back down the stairs.

You step through the door and there's a rough hand, grabbing onto your sleeve and a voice demanding to know where the fuck have you been and then there is a finger in your face, telling you that if you were out with some floozy all night there were going to be consequences and you wonder why you ever even joked about Bro worrying about you.

There's a sigh as you tell him you've been on the roof all night and he then asks if you gave yourself a cold, to which you answer no, and then he demands to know if you're sure, and you insist you're fine.

He slouches slightly, nodding his head in obvious relief and he lets go. “Can I go take a shower now, we're expected at the Egbert's in, like, twenty minutes.”

“Wait, what?” You then go about explaining to him that you were invited to Egbert-style Christmas and he makes a sort of annoyed 'eugh' sound before agreeing to go to it.

You take what could have been the quickest and least satisfying shower in your life and are soon deeming yourself presentable, throwing on the tackiest Christmas sweater you can find (ironically of course) which turns out to be one of Bro's and is, consequentially, a handful of sizes too big and barely hangs on your shoulders. Your arms barely long enough for your fingers to get out of the sleeve. Altogether a ridiculously over-sized sweater, but it's really warm and you like the fact that it's tacky as shit (unironically, but you wouldn't admit it for your life.).

The things has fucking reindeer on it.

It doesn't get much tackier than that.

You throw on a pair of jeans that smell clean and contemplate shoes, but decide against, you're just going to be downstairs after all (you do round up a pair of green striped socks from the deep depths of your closet, however).

Bro hasn't decided to get pumped about Christmas, and has a pair of boxes in his hands, one present yours and one his. “They're okay with the fact they ain't getting presents, right?” He asks and you nod.

You knock on the door labeled 5-C and it swings open quickly, and suddenly there's a face looking up at you from bended knees and exaggerating a plea for help.

“He's making me help him BAKE!” He exclaims and you stare wide eyed down at him as he stops the charade and just stares up at you, his forehead now level with YOUR collar bones and you feel even shorter knowing that even on his knees he's that tall on you.

“Don't blow a gasket, kid.” Bro says from behind you. “What's he baking.”

He doesn't even bother to get up, his fists balled in your sweater as he looks at Bro over your shoulder. “Cake. Red velvet, Christmas-y.” You hear Bro hum in interest and know that his sweet tooth is basically weeping tears of joy right about now.

“Oh, great, you'll never be able to get rid of him now that he knows your dad bakes. So many delicious pastries to be had and no one around to eat them other than you, what ever will happen with all the leftovers?” You turn to Bro now, “Leave it to this guy to put them away like he's about to go into hibernation.” You feel John biting back a chuckle and Bro shrugs at you, mumbles 'shit's delicious' and finally John's using your shoulders as leverage to pull himself back onto his feet.

You bite back an indignant exclamation of pain and force yourself to keep a straight face as John finally invites you inside.

That smell of cake like the first time you were in the same room as Mr. Egbert is in the apartment now and it makes your stomach roil just as much as three days ago but you try to calm it as John tells Bro to put the presents on the table and you head for the kitchen. You greet Mr. Egbert, who smiles at you, and compliments your sweater, and you compliment his.

His is probably worse than yours, with a giant Santa face on it, with a big red nose and snow flakes all over it.

You win this round, Dadbert.

You warn him of your brother's sweet tooth and he laughs a little, says “I'm sure I can accommodate.” And opens a cabinet revealing way more cake mixes than you've ever seen in one person's home before.

Two points for Mr. Egbert.

You choose to go back to the living room, and find John in a spirited debate about fish with your brother.

You don't ask them how they got to that topic. You don't even want to know.

You sit next to John and he breaks off the conversation almost immediately and turns to you, and asks you how your night on the roof was.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you were up there all night, you said you didn't sleep. What did you do?”

What did you do. That was a good question, you don't even think he'll be satisfied with the answer of 'thinking', and then you remember that Karkat brought you presents.

Did you leave those up there?

“Crap.” You groan and stand. “I left something up there, I'll be back in a second.” You hold up a hand and then calmly walk out of the apartment, before rushing the rest of the way up the stairs.

You find the poorly wrapped packages by the AC and breathe a sigh of relief as you head back down the floors to the fifth floor and enter to see your brother and John chatting mindlessly.

You put Sollux and Karkat's presents on the table next to the others and it seems to remind John of something and he's on his feet scurrying to his room and returning with a small unwrapped box of unknown contents and placing it on the table.

“My friends told me not to open it until I got here, but I decided to go the extra mile and wait until today.” He says, as if you asked, but you nod a little, and he tugs on your sleeve, pulling you to the couch.

The tv is turned on and the remote is offered to Bro, who finds How the Grinch Stole Christmas just starting and immediately switches it to that.

The original cartoon version. Not that the live-action one was bad it was just. Kind of crude, in some aspects.

You all sit around, bombarded by the smell of cake and frosting while the show plays and you take until it's over and you turn to make a snarky comment to John to realize he never let go of your sleeve and is just sort of holding it and smiling like an idiot at the television. Your comment dies in your throat and you just sort of awkwardly gawp at him, open mouthed and trying to figure out why you stopped being able to function just then.

But before you can come up with an answer, those beautiful blue eyes are turned to you and your mouth snaps shut with a painful force as he sort of laughs at you before asking if you're okay.

“Totally okay. All kinds of okay. No, forget that, I'm more than okay, some people are just like 'yeah dude I'm okay' and what they mean is 'yeah man, can't complain', but I'm more than okay, so okay it's not even okay anymore. It's more like... Great.” He's got his hand over his mouth like he's trying not to laugh at you and you bite back a groan and just mumble, “Yeah, dude I'm cool.” and turn your attention back to the next Christmas movie that's starting.

The opening from Home Alone barely has time to start before there's a cake, shaped like a Christmas tree (with icing ornaments and icing tinsel and a fucking star and all that shit) is being placed on the table, next to the presents and Bro is on his feet, asking with far too much enthusiasm if he can have a piece or if the man is going to torture him and make him wait to have some.

He fakes an evil cackle and tells Bro he'll have to wait until after presents and your brother groans outwardly.

He doesn't get to eat sweets too often, he's good at resisting, but when it's right there in front of him the poor guy is a victim to his cravings.

“Dave, get you and your friends butts over here so I can get myself some GD cake.” You're rather impressed at his ability to cut the swearing in front of John's dad, but don't mention it. Looking to John, who still holds your sleeve, you tilt your head toward the present and cake ridden table in a quizzical manner and he exaggerates thinking about it, much to Bro's lament, before sighing dramatically.

“I suppoooose we can open presents now.” He says, and gives your sleeve a small tug as he stands and heads for the table, sitting in the chair next to your Bro and you take the one next to him, waiting patiently for Dad E. to come and take the final chair.

“This how all Christmases go?” You ask and he nods, with a little shrug mixed in.

“We wait until the cake is done, we gather all the presents, we sit around the table and we take turns opening them, we eat cake, we watch more crappy Christmas programming, and then we go about the rest of our day like normal.”

You nod a little and Bro seems fascinated by the concept of a Christmas that DOESN'T involve strifing and helpfully informs John that once presents and cake are out of the way he's dragging your ass up to the roof and giving you a holiday beat down.

'Ho ho ho, kid.'

John asks if he can watch. Bro agrees. You feel like you now have someone to impress. You're not sure how to feel about that.

The conversation is hushed as Mr. Egbert takes the final chair and looks up in thought. “Alright, so normally we have more guests, and we decide who goes first differently, but seeing as we have two new guests, and so few guests, we'll use a different method. So I'm thinking of a number between on and one-hundred-”

“Five.” Bro says and looks at you, “It's five, I bet it's five.” He always goes first when it's just you and him, so he'll be so disappointed if he doesn't get it.

“I'm gonna say thirty-seven.” John says and looks to you.

“Uh. Ninety-eight.”

“It was sixteen.”

You hear Bro hiss a 'yess' to himself and the Egberts both laugh. “So do I just grab mine or something?” Dad nods and he takes the only present on the table labeled as being to him and rips off the pink wrapping paper you chose special just for him and stares in what you think is first confusion before barking a laugh at the notepads now sitting in his hands.

No normal notepads, of course, the topmost pad being blue and reading “DOUCHEBAG CITATION” across the top.

You took the liberty of filling out the first page for him, where a handful of boxes are checked (which includes 'first-class douchebag, douchie douchebag and washed-up douchebag) and at the bottom you have checked the 'somebody's' box. He laughs at this one for a few more minutes before flipping through the others and giving you a thumbs up.

“Where did you even get these?” John asks as Bro slides them over to show him.

You offer a half-hearted shrug and just mumble “I have my ways.” He looks unconvinced and you amend yourself. “Internet.” He nods like he should have expected that and hands them back to Bro, who's still chuckling as he looks over them.

Dad Egbert even gives a small chuckle at the notepads and you feel pretty damn proud of yourself. You knew your Bro would like them, you hadn't been expecting to be sharing Christmas with the Egberts and weren't sure what to expect.

You're glad Mr. Egbert is more laid-back than he seems.

When Bro is done looking over the gift and thanking you for being a clever little shit it's John's turn to open his presents. There are only two for him, one from his dad and one from his friends back home, and he goes for the one from his dad first.

He rips away the wrapping paper and pulls open the top of the box.

You jump so hard your knees slam into the bottom of the table as a palm-sized and spring-loaded pie flies out of the box, right into John's face.

After the initial shock, Bro is the first to start laughing, this loud guffaw as he balls a fist, trying not to punch the table. Mr. Egbert follows shortly after, this warm, low, fatherly chuckle and John just sits there, frozen for a moment before you see a tongue peek out, licking away the cool whip around his mouth.

He sets the box down and his hands move slowly as he takes off his glasses, blinking at the box and shaking his head slightly, but you can see just the faintest hints of a smile attempting to creep onto his face. “I don't know why expected any different.” He says after a moment and finally the smile is there, not being held back. He sets his glasses down on the table next to the box and pulls out the spring thing, revealing a gift card to somewhere below and thanking his dad.

You're still reeling from the shock of 'wow my friend just got pied by a Christmas present.' It takes you a few moment to realize, no, no you didn't have a fucking heart attack, you'll be okay, and you manage to relax.

No one comments on the fact that you didn't laugh, and John excuses himself to clean his face.

Your brother looks like he's going to die, but he manages enough breath to compliment Mr. Egbert on that prank.

You decide to be wary of any gifts from Mr. Egbert.

When John returns you're pretty sure your pulse is back to normal (or as normal as it can get, the shit's been weird lately) and sits back down in his chair, face and glasses free of cool whip and takes his second present, the one from his friends in Washington, and tells everyone that he's pretty sure this one is not going to pie him and that reassures you, you're not sure about Mr. E or Bro.

He pulls open one of the flaps and looks into the little box, squeezes his eyes shut and groans, closing it and pulling it off the table, onto his lap.

“What is it?” You ask and he just shakes his head and says a quiet 'no' and starts laughing.

Your brother looks at you as if you'll have some sort of answer but you just shrug in response and Mr. E looks like he wants to ask but shakes his head softly and mumbles 'teenagers' under his breath, before telling John he doesn't have to share with everyone what his friends gave him.

And then it's your turn.

You have three presents, from your brother and from Karkat and Sollux. You're pretty sure, judging on the size, that Bro's is a video game. Karkat and Sollux's are so sloppily wrapped you're not sure what to expect.

You rip off the red and green wrapping paper of Bro's gift and are greeted with what you predicted, a copy of LA Noire now just for you and you thank him and vow to play it later.

Sollux's gift is a box that tissues would normally go in, but has been emptied and filled with fruit snacks instead and you don't get it, but you like fruit snacks, so you won't complain.

Karkat's gift is another tissue box, except his one is full of colored pencils and that actually excites you a bit because yours were starting to get too short to go into any pencil sharpeners.

Mr. E opens his gift from John and finds a half of a brick in the box, and you and Bro stare, not sure what exactly the joke is and John chuckles as his father removes the half and finds plastic bags layered over one another to reveal the other half of the brick. He looks confused for only a moment and turns the half of brick over to reveal a hollowed out other side.

You don't even ask how the fuck John found, or even made, a hollow half-of-brick.

He removes a snazzy pocket watch and thanks John, compliments his prank, the man admits to being confused if for only a moment, and then tells John in so many words that he's proud of him for improving on last year's prank of very realistic but fake roaches.

You shudder at the thought.

Presents completed Bro asks, not very patiently, if he can have cake now, and Mr. E goes about cutting a piece for everyone.

You turn him down and tell Bro you'll be on the roof when he's ready for that strife and excuse yourself, returning to the place you sat the night before and shivering in the cold.

You seat yourself on top of the cold-as-a-fucking-block-of-ice AC unit and wait. You think on some level it was rude to do that, to just walk out and not even try the cake the man went to the effort to make, but you think that you may have thrown up if you'd tried to eat any of the confection. So you resigned yourself to sitting on the roof and waiting for your brother to come up and kick your ass like he does every year.

Except half an hour later no one has come up.

You're sitting in the freezing weather waiting only for nothing. The fucker's just gonna leave you here, you think just as the door opens.

“It's a tit bit nippley out here!” A voice announces, John's which surprises you, and you turn to face him. “But we're going to have to make the breast of it.” He adds with a nod and you snort, chuckling as he comes and joins you on the AC.

He offers you a small package, with red wrapping paper and smiles. “Didn't want to give you this in front of my dad. He'd ask me how much it cost and we all know we don't want that.” You see him blanch a little and he points to it. “Open it, dude. It's gonna be awesome, trust me.”

You suppose you trust him. More than you trust most other people, really, but you opt to wait. “I'll open it after my Bro's done kicking my ass.” You say with a shrug, “It gives me something to look forward to.”

“He's not coming up.” John says. “He sent me to tell you, and I quote 'too much cake, going into a food coma, wake me up in the morning'.” He nods a little, seemingly proud of himself for remembering that. “I may or may not have toned down the cussing and name calling.” He waves a dismissive hand at that and then points to the box. “Now open it.”

You hold up your hands in defeat “Alright, alright, calm your tits, bro.” And you tear open the box with little regard to preserving it (and John doesn't protest so you assume there's no need to.) and inside you find a pair of sunglasses and can't tell if you're supposed to be happy because it's kind of a cool gift, or underwhelmed because it's a pair of sunglasses.

You remove the aviators from the box and turn them around in your hand a few times before looking at him and just sort of hoping he'll explain.

“Shit, sorry, forgot to put this in there!” He pulls from his pocket a slip of paper which, once in your hands, you notice is a 'certificate of authenticity'. Authenticity for what?

He's smiling like an idiot and shit that thing's contagious, you feel the corners of your lips turning up because of him and his damn pretty-ass smile.

You do convey that it needs a little explanation without outright asking for it though and John goes about telling you why these shades in particular are so cool and expensive, and that's why he didn't want you opening them in front of his dad.

“Where the fuck did you get the money to buy Stiller shades anyways?” You ask, examining them and deciding you're probably going to wear them. The ones you have on now have scratches in them that, while not extremely noticeable from the outside, are extremely distracting.

“I'm a frugal guy,” He says with a shrug. “I have like six hundred dollars because I never buy anything, and I had my job for three years. Three years is plenty of time for my boss to decide he likes me and give me extra money and crap.” He waves a hand like this isn't a big deal.

Admittedly, with the money your brother rakes in from his puppet shit, you're not too crazy in awe, but you're slightly impressed, to say the least. “That's pretty cool. I should have gotten you something.” You mumble as you put the Stiller shades back in the box for now, slipping in the certificate to go with.

“Oh, no dude, don't worry about it. No big deal.” And he's still smiling and you sort of shrug/nod and finally shake your head a little.

“No, I'll find something cool.” You say and finally set the box next to you and lean back on your hands, blowing air up in an attempt to get the wayward curl out of your face.

“So my Bro's not coming up.” You say and he nods. “Maybe I should give him cake more often.” You muse and John chuckles next to you.

The silence that follows is, actually, relatively comfortable. You try not to notice the closeness, but it's hard when you're not shivering just because he's sitting right fucking next to you and he's like a human furnace. Ultimately, you notice. And you may or may not be guilty of shuffling yourself a little closer. He makes a questioning noise in the back of his throat and you mumble that it's fucking cold and he seems to accept that, stuffing his hands in his sweater pockets.

You admit it probably would have been a good idea to put a shirt on under the sweater, maybe then you wouldn't be so cold, but then it would have been too hot inside and it's just kind of annoying to think about, so you choose not to and decide to just chill with John as noon creeps around and you're not having your ass handed to you on the roof by your brother.

“It's pretty great here, I think.” John says after what feels like an hour of silence.

“You'll learn to hate it eventually.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DFO = done fell out = passed out cold
> 
> Dave's present to Bro was these:  
> http://whydontihavethis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/hey-asshole-pad.jpeg  
> http://www.knockknockstuff.com/media/products/2010/06/14/12080_DouchebagCitation_Flat.jpg  
> http://www.familylorefocus.com/images/paper-pickup.jpg  
> http://www.australiangiftsonline.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/t/h/things_you_do_note.jpg  
> http://ohmyhandmade.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/il_570xN.435062177_d52z.jpg
> 
> My favorite part of this chapter to write was John getting pied in the face by an innocent Christmas present.  
> And having Bro get a fucking hardon for cake like what even  
> Screw all those people who make Bro a stoic asshole 100% of the time  
> I think he should be silly.  
> I'm too tired for this shit.
> 
> Oh and I figured out how I can fit Rose and Jade into this universe  
> I silently fear someone will get all pissy about Rose but whatevs I dun care,  
> Whateva I do what I want.  
> Rose for sure will be in chapter 12  
> And then I dont know about Jade but she'll be in there.
> 
> (Oh and yeah Solsol and KK are step-brother who kiss and touch and stuph in case it wasn't obvious)  
> I also ramble when I'm tired  
> I'm gonna stop now


	9. Day After, Day After, Day After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the entire chapter is a pesterlog.  
> Day after christmas chit-chat which leads to other stuff.  
> Admittedly this was just me having fun with them, and deciding that they'd be into the respective television shows ahah.

TG: so seriously dude what did your friends get you?  
EB: a gift i can only hope i will get the chance to use one day.  
TG: can i at least get the honor of a guess?  
EB: fine, one guess.  
TG: condoms  
EB: why would you guess condoms of all things?  
TG: dunno  
TG: youre what seventeen now  
TG: seventeen year olds need condoms  
TG: like wicked bad  
TG: especially seventeen year olds like you  
EB: what's that supposed to mean!?  
TG: i dunno  
TG: you were the one who brought up the sex questions first  
TG: i was content letting that shit wait  
TG: behind this dorkish facade i think i may even see  
TG: dramatic pause for effect  
EB: …  
EB: dave?  
EB: okay a dramatic pause is ten seconds tops.  
EB: it's been seven minutes.  
EB: eight minutes.  
EB: dave?  
EB: dave are you okay?  
EB: should i come up stairs?  
TG: no  
TG: nooo  
TG: im  
TG: im okay shit wow i just  
TG: got distracted.  
EB: for half an hour?  
TG: dramatic pauses need to be dramatic john  
EB: are you sure you're okay?  
TG: totally  
TG: on hundred percent  
TG: completely cool  
EB: right.  
EB: but what were you going to say?  
TG: about what  
EB: about behind my dorkish facade you see?  
TG: oh  
TG: shit i dont even know the dramatic pause was me trying to think of something clever  
EB: you always have something clever to say, no way you would start a joke without knowing the punchline already.  
TG: you sure about that?  
TG: seems you dont know me nearly as well as you believed  
TG: i thought we were bros john  
TG: but apparently i was mistaken  
TG: my feelings are so hurt right now  
EB: wow, way to be over dramatic!  
TG: so hurt john  
EB: drama queen  
TG: gasp  
TG: shut your whore mouth  
TG: im not a drama queen  
EB: yeah you pretty much are :B  
TG: no  
TG: oh heeeelll no  
TG: you did not just do that weird bucktooth face thing at me  
TG: we already talked about this  
TG: none of that text face makin nonsense.  
EB: :B  
TG: no  
EB: :B:B:B:B:B  
TG: NO  
TG: STOP  
EB: i'm sorry i can't hear you over the sound of my :B  
TG: that doesnt even make sense  
EB: it wasn't supposed to :B  
TG: oh my god stop  
EB: fine  
TG: relenting that easily?  
TG: holy shit  
TG: no  
TG: no its not raining balls of fire  
TG: so its not the end of the world  
EB: DRAMA QUEEN  
TG: thats drama KING to you young lady  
EB: i'm not a lady!  
TG: no youre not  
TG: youre a YOUNG lady  
TG: adjectives dude  
TG: theyre important  
TG: adjectives are what separates the men from the manly-men  
EB: oh my god you're making english jokes now.  
EB: are you sick?  
TG: totally and completely  
TG: like ninety percent sure im the sickest  
TG: the illest  
EB: no!  
TG: no what?  
EB: no rapping!  
TG: fine  
TG: i take back my earlier comment on you not knowing me well enough  
TG: you know when im about to start rapping  
TG: that doesn't necessarily mean im going to listen when you tell me to stop  
EB: dear god no.  
TG: oh yeah john  
TG: get ready for this shit  
EB: i'll come upstairs and slap you.  
TG: bro would never let you in  
EB: wanna make a bet?  
TG: if bro lets you in then feel free to slap me  
EB: i'll be up in just a moment prepare your face for some serious slappage  
TG: you fucking laughed all the way back down the stairs didnt you  
EB: guilty.  
EB: in fact, still laughing.  
TG: yeah yeah yuck it up  
TG: bro only let you in because i specifically told him not to  
TG: under normal circumstances you wouldnt have gotten past him  
EB: i think i would.  
TG: seriously doubt that  
EB: nah, your bro likes me too much to not let me in to torture you.  
TG: i respectfully disagree  
EB: ooh, respectfully?  
EB: you respect me dave?  
TG: only as much as i can without literally bursting into flames  
TG: yeah i respect you i guess  
EB: i'm flattered.  
TG: dont be  
EB: why not?  
EB: the incredible dave strider respects me as a person i feel like i should be honored or some shit.  
TG: calm down dude im just a guy not the queen of england or the president of the usa  
EB: but you're ~dave strider~  
TG: if you ever use tildes around my name again i will literally have no choice but to jump out a window  
EB: that's what those are called?  
TG: yeah  
EB: i didn't even know that.  
TG: you know what fucking atwitter means but you didn't know this ~ was called a tilde?  
EB: i'm sorry you want me to apologize?  
TG: no  
TG: i guess not  
TG: but dude  
TG: get a handle on your symbols  
TG: the level of importance that you know what these things are is second only to the importance of ~adjectives~  
EB: aaaaaaaargh  
EB: you're such a hypocrite!  
TG: AM I THOUGH!?  
TG: or am i just being a good friend and warning you of this shit before you tangle with society???  
TG: these are important questions john  
TG: so much important stuff you havent even been paying attention to  
TG: son  
EB: please don't.  
TG: i am  
EB: NO NONONONO  
TG: disappoint.  
EB: i fucking hate you.  
TG: you love me and you know it  
EB: yeeeeeeeeah i guesssss...  
EB: you're slightly more tolerable than some other people I SUPPOSE.  
TG: im even less tolerable in person though  
EB: pretty much unbearable :B  
TG: again with the face  
TG: lets jump back a couple hours now  
TG: what did your friends get you  
EB: two things.  
TG: and they would be?  
TG: john?  
TG: john  
TG: john  
EB: dramatic pauses need to be dramatic dave, hold your damn horses.  
TG: consider them held  
TG: okay seriously it's been twenty minutes  
TG: at least i wasnt intentionally making you wait that long  
EB: you were trying to think of a clever line  
EB: sounds pretty intentional to me.  
TG: dude i passed the fuck out in my chair  
TG: tell me  
TG: i need to know so i can be aware of how much to laugh at you  
EB: it was condoms, but you passed out in your chair?  
TG: ha i totally called it  
TG: youre never gonna get to use those  
TG: imagine me waving a hand at you and 'pfft'ing in disbelief  
EB: what do you mean by passed out, like fainted passed out or fell asleep suddenly passed out?  
TG: im making fun of you never getting to use condoms were not talking about me right now  
TG: were talking about you  
TG: and youre really weird gift  
TG: seriously who even gives their friends condoms as a going away present  
TG: john  
TG: john why did they give you condoms  
EB: i'm pretty sure they were pretty sure i was going to get laid down here?  
EB: why else would someone buy someone condoms?  
TG: i dunno  
TG: as a joke to laugh and say  
TG: haha theyll never use these  
TG: lets get them a box of a hundred so theyll all go to waste ahaha  
TG: wait they didnt get you a box of a hundred did they  
EB: dude no it's ten  
TG: haha those are going to last you the rest of your life  
EB: so, what i go from having a whore mouth to never getting laid?  
EB: contradicting yourself there, dave?  
TG: having a whore mouth and being a whore are two totally different things  
EB: enlighten me, i must know the difference.  
TG: ill tell you when youre older  
EB: wow okay.  
EB: i'm throwing in the proverbial towel.  
EB: i give up ever trying to talk to you ever again.  
TG: were you and your friends just that close that giving each other condoms is an okay thing?  
EB: apparently so.  
TG: im pretty close with my friends but not that close  
TG: except i guess maybe with sollux  
TG: but that was a one time thing and we try not to talk about it  
TG: lest we trigger someone  
TG: into a mental break down or something like that  
TG: call the fucking police weve upset someone with our talk about close-friend matters  
TG: weve swapped wildly inapropro christmas gifts and upset someone  
TG: damn  
EB: what?  
TG: now im upset  
EB: really?  
EB: you have the ability to feel upset?  
EB: i had no idea you were programmed with such an emotion!  
TG: shut up  
EB: wait yore actually upset?  
TG: a little yeah  
TG: just reminded myself of some shit  
TG: no big  
TG: if we could change the subject though thatd be fantastic  
TG: because if you pry i will make your life a living hell  
EB: am i completely banned from prying?  
TG: one hundred percent.  
EB: okay.  
EB: so, subject change.  
EB: do you think your friends are going to like me?  
TG: yeah  
EB: okay.  
EB: dave is whatever your upset about really that bad?  
TG: basically  
EB: you sure you don't want to tell me about it?  
TG: yeah  
EB: monosyllabic answers now?  
TG: yes  
EB: okay.  
EB: it helps to talk i think.  
EB: at least it helps me.  
EB: you're completely one-hundred-percent sure you don't want to talk about it?  
TG: egbert  
TG: that thing i said about not prying  
TG: this counts  
EB: sorry.  
EB: just not used to you being down.  
EB: or at least down enough to only type short stuff.  
EB: you can go on for hours about a seemingly mindless topic.  
EB: it's just weird for you not to be spamming me.  
EB: it's also pretty weird that we're talking on pesterchum when you're literally up and over one apartment from me.  
TG: thats not weird  
EB: i went up the stairs just to slap you and then went right back and continued talking to you on the computer.  
EB: it's at least a little weird.  
TG: yeah okay its kind of weird  
TG: its just easier to talk over this i guess  
EB: what makes you say that?  
TG: i can make ridiculous hand gesture at my computer and no one questions me about it  
EB: why would you be making weird hand gestures at your computer?  
TG: i have this weird habit of reading what i type out loud as if im actually saying it  
TG: and i kind of talk with my hands a lot  
TG: which ive been trying to tone down  
TG: because it really annoys some people that i do that  
TG: normally dont give a shit but dont want to piss off my friends  
TG: that kind of stuff  
EB: i haven't seen you talk with your hands.  
TG: good  
TG: that shits annoying apparently  
EB: is it as annoying in real life as people make it out to be?  
TG: apparently  
TG: but you have to be the personal judge of that dude  
TG: hand-talking being annoying is an opinion not a fact  
EB: i don't see any reason why it would bother me.  
TG: why not?  
EB: i don't really know.  
EB: i think it's a psychological thing?  
EB: i think i could understand someone who talked while moving their hands around better than someone who just stands there stock still?  
EB: because with the hand gestures i think it's be easier to pick up on the point their emphasizing, or how they feel about a particular subject.  
EB: i mean when you get onto a subject you're really passionate about don't you make more pointless hand gestures?  
TG: theyre not pointless  
TG: they make sense to me but not to other people  
TG: but im glad to see you wont find it annoying  
TG ill make a point of doing it a lot around you  
TG: so that you too will join the masses  
TG: and be annoyed by it  
TG: and so ill have a reason to pay attention to it and stop it and all that  
EB: no you don't have to worry about it.  
EB: it's not gonna bother me.  
EB: i think my friend vriska did it?  
EB: like not these huge gestures, but she did little ones.  
EB: and it never bothered me.  
EB: it was kind of endearing.  
TG: wow now i definitely cant do it  
TG: im not endearing  
TG: like ever  
EB: your height is endearing.  
TG: short jokes now john?  
TG: #triggered  
EB: wow hashtags now?  
TG: back in my day it was called the pound sign  
TG: old man voice  
EB: pft.  
EB: you're such a dork.  
TG: whoa now  
TG: youre just going all out trying to offend me today arent you  
TG: rude  
TG: so rude  
TG: so rude i cant even handle it  
EB: i'm just gonna let you have this tantrum right now.  
TG: tantrum???  
TG: I repeat  
TG: rude  
EB: …  
TG: so rude  
EB: …  
TG: …  
EB: …  
TG: …  
EB: you done?  
TG: yeah  
EB: ooooooookay.  
EB: we're gonna talk about something that's not going to offend you now, how does that sound?  
TG: sounds fan fucking tastic  
TG: what topic of conversation do you suggest?  
EB: i dunno.  
TG: i thought you were my friend john  
TG: how can you not know of at least one topic that won't offend me?  
TG: just pick one and ill tell you if i have had my extremely sensitive feelings hurt  
EB: global warming.  
TG: hold the phone dude  
TG: you cant just talk about global warming willy nilly like that  
EB: omfg  
EB: i give up so hard right now.  
EB: the towel is on the ground, dave.  
EB: it has been tossed in.  
EB: i'm so done.  
TG: how done  
EB: like 398% done.  
TG: thats pretty done  
EB: yeah  
EB: it kind of is.  
TG: when do you think youll be done being done?  
EB: never  
EB: never will i be done with being done with you.  
TG: that sucks.  
EB: for you maybe.  
EB: for me it's like sweet relief after waiting for a week for the new episode of my favorite show to come out.  
TG: what is your favorite show?  
EB: supernatural.  
TG: naturally.  
EB: what else would it be?  
TG: who knows  
TG: doctor who  
EB: i haven't ever gotten around to watching that one actually.  
TG: thats it  
TG: im disowning you  
TG: 'nerd free to good home' is what it will ay on the box  
EB: well have you ever seen supernatural?  
TG: no but thats not the point  
TG: you havent seen doctor who  
EB: yeah no I haven't.  
TG: this is a problem and i recommend we address it immediately  
EB: i can watch doctor who with you sometime or something.  
EB: if it'll keep you from disowning me, that is.  
TG: hm...  
EB: but you'd have to watch supernatural with me.  
TG: hmmmm...  
EB: it's a good show.  
EB: it's maybe almost as good as doctor who.  
TG: dont even go there dude  
TG: youre freaky ghost show is nothing compared to time-space traveling humanoid aliens  
EB: hey, hey, there are demons too!  
EB: and angels.  
EB: and vampires, werewolves, shifters, fairies.  
EB: all sorts of stuff.  
EB: not just ghosts.  
TG: ghosts are so lame though  
EB: hey we can either swap this or i'm never watching doctor who ever simply to spite you.  
TG: you drive a hard bargain egbert  
EB: take it or leave it, strider.  
TG: ill take it.  
EB: do you want to come down and start now?  
TG: how are we gonna do it?  
EB: i was thinking either switch back and forth every season, or every episode.  
TG: like one episode of doctor who and then one episode of supernatural and then doctor who again and so on an so forth  
EB: yeah, basically.  
EB: unless like i want to watch another episode of doctor who and you're okay with it, you want to watch another episode of supernatural and i'm okay with it.  
TG: i think itd be more fair if we did seasons  
EB: okay so seasons it is.  
TG: how many seasons of supernatural are there?  
EB: eight on netflix.  
TG: doctor who has 24  
EB: 24!?!?!  
TG: yeah but that's including classic  
TG: and i guess we can skip that if you want  
TG: so were more closely matched in season numbers  
TG: and we can start with supernatural  
EB: you gave me a small heart attack there.  
TG: right  
TG: but we can start with ninth doctor for now  
TG: christopher eccleston  
TG: that puts dw at six seasons  
EB: i can't get over the fact you watch doctor who.  
EB: and know the name of the ninth doctor.  
TG: doctor who is great  
EB: do you know the names of the other ones too?  
TG: not right off the top of my head no  
TG: except for matt smith and david tennant  
EB: you guys have popcorn, right?  
TG: yeah want me to bring some  
EB: hell yes.  
TG: alright  
TG: ill be down in a minute

– turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] –

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then John and Dave spend the rest of the week watching Supernatural, Doctor Who, eating popcorn and having intense discussions about these shows.
> 
> Next chapter: New years shenanigans!  
> And everyone knows what new years means (smooching ahahah)  
> And we all know, John would totally watch Supernatural, and Dave wold be into Doctor Who.  
> If anyone disagrees... Well... This 'verse's John and Dave are into those shows.  
> So yeah.


	10. Year of The Cock- Er, I Mean Rooster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years kisses and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta tell ya, the reason this chapter took so long to come out.  
> I got a job.  
> I went from no-job to full-time-job in an hour and a half and worked the six days after I got the aforementioned job.  
> But I've been working at this for a while and am finally satisfied.  
> I have been looking forward to writing John and Feferi's gesture-conversation for a long time now.  
> Anyways.  
> Enjoy.

You woke up new years eve with a borderline skull-splitting headache. Sadly, you were unable to go to the bathroom and get the painkillers, what with Dave crashed out on your legs. He went to go get some water and you laid across the couch. He didn't even ask you to move he just sat on your legs and paid you no mind.

You stare at the Netflix screen, groaning in annoyance that you fell asleep halfway through an episode. You didn't mind it too much, because you knew what happened. Dave didn't and now you'd have to watch it again.

You wiggle your feet just to make sure they're still there, with Dave there you've pretty much lost feeling in your legs. Circulation cut off. You only hope that they'll still function properly and you finally sit yourself up, nudging him and trying to wake him up.

You groan nonsense and after a few minutes he groans nonsense in response. There's a series of grunts shared and somehow it makes a conversation. One of the perks of being a teenage boy, you can communicate with other teenage boys with vague noises.

Eventually Dave gets the point, and picks himself up just enough for you to get your legs free before curling up against the arm of the couch. You can't help a small sigh of relief and wiggle the feeling back into your appendages, until you deem them feeling enough for you to walk around on.

You've retrieved your pain killers and you weigh the options of waking Dave up or not. He's told you on a number of occasions the past few days “Striders don't wake up before noon, at least.” But you decide to let him sleep. Simply because he is sleeping.

He was awake the entire night before Christmas and Friday as well. He didn't sleep all weekend and he's been sleeping since Monday night, you're just not sure what's going on with him. You're pretty sure it isn't normal. But when you ask he refuses to talk about it.

On one hand he tells you a lot of nonsense bullshit, on the other he doesn't tell you any of the important stuff you ask about.

Like that shitty relationship he mentioned, from subtle clues and the slip of mood when a certain thing is brought up you can only assume it has something to do with his friend Sollux or Karkat and honestly it raises more questions than it answers.

You're stuck between that godawful place of wanting to help and not having enough information to help.

Rock – You – Hard place.

That sort of thing.

So you decide to let sleeping gingers lie and just stand there, sipping your glass of water in a contemplative manner and watching him like it's extremely not weird to watch your best friend sleep.

You should ask Sollux or Karkat.

You did get the chance to ask Sollux how they got a hold of you and he said “Mad skills” and you decided you didn't want to know, but Karkat did still send you the occasional message.

Actually that's. Not a bad idea. You wonder if he'd be online this early in the morning. Then you check the time and see it's already past nine and decide he may be.

You finish up your drink and leave Dave to sleep on the couch, putting the glass in the sink and heading to your computer and logging in with high hopes of Karkat's presence.

Much to your luck, Sollux is online. But his text is kind of weird to read, and you're not sure if you want to message him. You don't really get the whole deal he has with doubling things, but haven't bothered to ask. At least Karkat's is easier to read, if not a little loud seeming.

You wait a little bit.

Twenty minutes later, Karkat's name lights up and you double click it, opening up a window, but realize wow, he just got on if you message him right away it'll seem like you were waiting.

Would that be weird? You think that'd be weird.

So you wait a few minutes.

– ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:45– 

EB: hey karkat!  
CG: I HAVE BEEN AWAKE FOR ROUGHLY FIFTEEN MINUTES, I HAVE NOT YET INDULGED IN MY MORNING COFFEE, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE HEY KARKAT ME.  
EB: oookay.  
EB: sorry i just kind of had a question.  
CG: WHATEVER IT IS I'M SURE YOU COULD ASK ANYONE ELSE AT THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT.  
CG: LIKE DAVE FOR EXAMPLE.  
CG: HAVEN'T YOU TWO BEEN HAVING THIS WEEK LONG SLUMBER PARTY WATCHING SHITTY BRITISH TELEVISION SHOWS AND CANADIANS GALLIVANTING IN A FORTY YEAR OLD CAR?  
EB: admittedly i was skeptical of doctor who, but it's actually pretty good, and they're not canadian it's just filmed there.  
CG: POINT IS YOU CAN ASK DAVE.  
EB: i can't though!  
EB: whenever i ask he gets quiet and quite frankly a little snappy.  
CG: WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ABOUT?  
EB: he said something about a shitty relationship.  
CG: DON'T ASK ABOUT IT.  
EB: why though?  
CG: TRUST ME.  
CG: WHENEVER THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC IS BROUGHT UP A SWARM OF ANGRY PEOPLE EACH SIMULTANEOUSLY DROWN A BAG FULL OF KITTENS.  
EB: wow is it really that bad?  
CG: YES. NOW DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF IT.  
CG: IF HE COMES BACK TO SCHOOL WITH THAT ON HIS MIND PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL IMPLODE.  
EB: the entire world?  
CG: THE ENTIRE GOD-DAMN WORLD.  
CG: WHAT HAPPENED WHEN IT COMES TO THAT IS BETWEEN ME, DAVE AND SOLLUX AND IF HE'S MAKING A POINT OF NOT TELLING YOU THEN YOU WILL RESPECT HIS STRIDERLY-PRIVACY AND KEEP YOUR FAT NOSE OUT OF IT.  
CG: HONESTLY, I'M HARDLY EVEN A PART OF IT, IF YOU HAD WANTED INFORMATION ON IT YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED SOLLUX BUT HE WOULD HAVE SAID THE SAME THING AS ME.  
CG: I WAS A BORDERLINE INNOCENT BYSTANDER IN THE CLIMAX AND DOWNFALL OF THAT SHIT-STORM.  
EB: borderline innocent.  
CG: YES, BORDERLINE, I WAS LEFT SIGNIFICANTLY OUT OF THE LOOP THROUGHOUT THE MAJORITY OF THOSE HAPPENINGS AND THE MAJORITY OF BLAME IS ON SOLLUX.  
CG: DAVE IS JUST THE POOR FUCKER HE LIED TO.  
CG: SHIT  
CG: I'M LEAVING NOW TO GET COFFEE, IF YOU MESSAGE ME BEFORE TEN AM EVER AGAIN I WILL DISEMBOWEL YOU AND USE YOUR INTESTINES AS A CONDOM WHILE I FORNICATE WITH YOUR SKULL.  
EB: wow, graphic.  
CG: FUCK YOU.

– carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectBiologist [EB] at 10:23 --  
Okay so that was an overall pointless venture.

But you do consider asking Sollux. And then you consider what Karkat said. Maybe you shouldn't bother with it, maybe this was just one of those things you definitely needed to keep your nose out of. That would probably be for the best.

“Having fun there?” You jump out of your chair at the voice suddenly behind you, and slap a hand over your heart, cursing quietly.

“You scared the shit outta me.” You gasp and note the smirk he gives in return.

Cocky asshole.

But it drops and you sort of feel like he's just staring at you for a moment before there's a small crease in his forehead and you offer a questioning noise. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something before just shaking his head and chuckling at you, that somewhat angry look fading away with his laughter.

“Wow, okay, you're awake way too early.” He says ad you give this fake scoff, as dramatically indignant as possible.

“You're not my mom Daaaave.” You whine and he crosses his arms.

“I can change that,” He says and smirks, cocky again, “I'm one Strider-brand session of seduction away from your dad begging to marry me.” You fight it. You fight it with all your mental strength, but the image of Dave in a wedding dress wins all the mental arm-wrestling matches and comes to the surface with a grand huzzah and you die.

You tack on the thought of him marrying your dad, which you think should have been disturbing but it just forces more laughs from you, and you're wheezing and snorting before your brain can even catch up and Dave looks almost offended that you're laughing at him right now.

You fall back into your chair, gasping for breath and you can't see through your tears it's just such an amusing thought.

“You're fucking grounded, go to your room.” He says and turns, walking out, and your attempts to call after him are ruined by more fits of laughter.

It's a good fifteen minutes, you're head is killing you and you only kind of chuckle at the thought from before and you finally leave your room, finding Dave on the couch watching the next season of Supernatural. You clear your throat to alert him of your presence and he turns to look at you.

“Ya done?” He asks and you nod, reclaiming your seat next to him. “What could have possibly gone through your mind that was that hysterical?” He asks, pausing the show and setting the remote off to the side.

“You in a poofy, ballgown kind of wedding dress.” You say, holding your arms out in a shape roughly indicating a poofy ballgown.

“And I looked fucking fabulous, I guarantee.” He says without missing a beat. “You're just jealous you can't pull off the bridal look like I can.” He adds, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

“Yes, you would make a beautiful bride for my dad.”

“I would be the greatest fucking house-wife ever, John. A domesticated house-husband.” He says and then pauses, shaking his head. “Scratch that, your dad is already a house-husband. I would be the bread-winner. John, I would be the one in charge of your allowance and you ain't getting' shit.” You snort at him as he goes on before he smirks, rolling his eyes (you think, his eyebrows moved like he was rolling his eyes) and shakes his head at you.

“I think if you're dad got married you'd be that shit head who calls your step mom by her last name. Call her the step-monster and all that.” You never really thought about it, actually.

While you are aware your father has been single for a while; you're not really worried about your dad remarrying. And you suppose as long as she never gave you a reason to hate her you'd be content with first names and 'step-mother'. Or who knows maybe your dad's into dudes.

Wow that's an uncomfortable thought, you decide, and make a mental note to bleach your brain later.

“So what do you and your brother usually do for new years?” You ask, and he offers a mere shrug, before looking like he's thinking before smirking. You don't strain your brain with trying to figure out the thought process.

“You know all the fireworks we keep in the kitchen?”

“The ones in the sink?”

“Those and the ones that are in real places, like the cabinets and shit.”

“Okay, yeah what about them.”

“We go up to the roof and set them off.”

Okay, that doesn't sound too odd, better than Christmas strifes at least. “What about you and your dad?”

“Dad doesn't really do anything, but I usually invite a friend or two over to hang out and play video games all night. Not really a tradition or anything.”

“So you're gonna come with me and Bro to shoot fireworks off the roof, right?”

“Totally.”

“Good.”

 

Within the day you manage to finish season five of Supernatural, and it's already dark out and it's only six and you ask Dave what the fuck is up with that.

“The days get really short in winter, dude, what do you want me to do about it?” is his answer. He tells you that it'll be a while before fireworks start happening and that you can start on the next season of Doctor Who before heading up to help Bro get all the fireworks up to the roof (which makes it sound like a lot of fireworks).

And then halfway through the first episode Dave gets a text and remembers he invited his friends to come this year because they doubted how great the Strider style fireworks show was going to be. He tells you that they'll be over shortly and then he sends a message and tells you that you're going to finish the episode first.

You spend the second half of the episode debating the pros and cons of certain aspects before going upstairs to Dave's apartment to wait for his friends.

You're actually somewhat excited, he told you it was going to be Sollux, Karkat and a girl named Feferi, and you're looking forward to meeting Sollux and Karkat in person, and Feferi sounds nice. You figure it's a good start to this whole 'making friends in a new place' thing. The first day at the new school may even have some friendly faces (god you hope there are friendly faces).

You and Dave are in his room for five minutes, still talking about Doctor Who, before the door swings open and there's a short guy scowling at Dave.

“Jesus Christ, Strider,” he begins and you note the pronunciation and yeah the dude's Asian, “Why not answer the damn door when your friends come over, instead of making your brother do it.” Before you have the chance to ask who it is a slightly taller girl comes shoving past him and bounds across the room, dropping herself into Dave's lap and hugging him with a girlish squeal.

“Holy shit, calm down.” Dave grunts as he pats her back. “You just saw me a week ago.”

“Yeah I know, right!” She says, “And a week is too long.” She says with a quick nod before moving herself to sit next to Dave. “So when are we gonna blow shit up?” She asks with a grin and you decide now is a good time to notice the tall scrawny guy still in the door and rolling his green eyes at you (one of them looks blue, actually, and its not impossible so it may be blue).

“I'm with Strider,” 'Thtrider', “You need to relax. We have a few hours before it could possibly be deemed appropriate to blow shit up in celebration of the year's death.” He looks at you, only a quick glance, before looking back to Dave and then lifts a hand and points. “And on top of that we haven't been properly introduced to John yet.”

Feferi (she's obviously Feferi, she's the only girl in here.) bounces where she sits and turns to you, telling the guy with the lisp that he's right and she jumps up, grinning at you, shoving a hand in your face and proudly declaring “I'm Feferi Peixes, you can call me Feferi Peixes, or Fef or whatever floats your boat!” And you aren't sure but you feel like you can hear the multiple exclamation marks on the end of that.

She's very bubbly and excitable, and you shake her hand before she goes back to sitting by Dave and the short scowling Asian guy walks up, and tells you he's 'not going to shake your grubby hands because he has no fucking clue where the thing has been'. He introduces himself as Karkat Vantas and he rants for a few more minutes and you don't entirely catch the point of it (too many weird word strings and metaphors) and finally backs away.

The guy in the door (Sollux, provided your skills of deduction aren't fucked up) shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose and nods in your general direction. “Sollux Captor.” He says, and tilts his head again in a small bow.

“Wow, that was a colossal waste of time.” Dave says next, and turns his head in Karkat's direction, “We would have saved everyone the pain of your talking if only I'd taken the introductions into my own hands.” To which Karkat flips him off and Feferi giggles, and helpfully provides Dave with a third finger to return the gesture with.

Sollux and Karkat promptly get into an argument reminiscent of a married couple, and Dave suggests video games in the living room until it's time to set stuff up and Feferi makes a point of grabbing your arm and striking up a conversation.

You and her end up sitting back while Dave, Karkat and Sollux play zombie games and yell at each other.

She's really nice, although every now and then she'll say something and then look shocked at herself for saying it and laugh and change the subject. It's interesting, but you like her and she doesn't seem to dislike you, so you'll consider her as a successful friend.

She does eventually jab Sollux in the side with a finger and demand he let her play now and she switches with him for a little bit before Dave lets Sollux back, and then Feferi trades with you and you watch her and Dave mumble quietly to each other. They talk, and you watch her eyes, since they're the ones you can see, as they flick from him, to her hands, and then to you a few times.

What could they possibly be talking about?

She giggles into her hand and he scowls at her and she punches his shoulder lightly, cupping her hand over his ear and whispering something that makes his face turn red.

You're curious, and you're only brought back by Karkat punching you in the arm and yelling at you to pay attention because the horde is coming. You manage to keep your eyes on the game, but you sneak peeks at the two and wonder what they talked about in such hushed whispers.

Feferi trades with Karkat then, and Karkat and Dave are generally quiet, and then Dave trades with you, and Karkat just sort of glances at you, sneering every now and then, then you trade with Sollux and make a point of not looking when he throws an arm over the other dudes shoulders and whispers quickly to him and makes Karkat blush like a schoolgirl.

Dave and Karkat are about to switch when Dave's brother comes in the door and makes a point of exaggerating the fact that he wasn't expecting to come home to an apartment full of teenagers.

He then produces a box of fireworks, and drops it on Dave's lap, before going into the kitchen to, you assume, retrieve the rest.

He brings out an armful of fireworks and distributes them among you and the other teenagers (he says that since you're there he might as well take advantage of the extra hands) and then goes off to a door in the hall that you learned was a closet and returns shortly with a big flashlight, and goes about herding all the teenagers suddenly in his charge up the stairs.

It's dark and a little chilly, but Dave is cursing loudly about the weather and Karkat and Sollux are agreeing. Feferi is keeping quiet, but you note the shiver as she tugs on the strings of her jacket's hood.

You suppose that the cold doesn't quite affect you as much, considering you came from up north.

“You guys are pathetic, little cold weather ain't gonna kill ya.” Bro says, turning on the flashlight and pointing for all the various explosives to be dropped in a pile next to him. He then explains to the five of you what needs to go where, and within an hour everything is set up.

Bro turns off the flashlight and leans on the air conditioner an announces “And now we wait.” Pulling out his phone and occupying himself with it.

You check the time on yours (11:26) and put it away to let your eyes adjust to the dark.

Dave is leaning on the AC with his brother, Sollux and Karkat and having another married-couple-argument, and Feferi is standing by them, but looking at you and waving a little like she's trying to discreetly get your attention.

You turn to look at he and she grins at you, you point to yourself and then back to her, quirking an eyebrow with the question of her wanting you to come over to her. She crosses her hands and shakes her head and seems to giggle into her palm.

She points to you and then points to Dave, and gives a questioning shrug.

You look to Dave and then back at her and shrug in return.

She grins and then points to you, makes a curvy shape with her hands and then thrusts her pelvis in the air, then points to Dave, a question in her eyes.

You laugh at her, but look over to Dave again and then back to her again and shrug, nodding a little.

She smirks, this smug smile like she already knew that, then points to Dave repeats the motion and points at you, this time a note of finality in the last point.

Oh.

You feel your eyebrows creep up and that's an interesting way to find out your friend is into you, okay.

You point to Dave and then your head, drawing a line in the air and mimicking shooting an arrow.

She once more gets that look on her face, shaking her head and waving a hand, she points to each side with her fingers and then jabs the air a few times with the left, then points with both to the left before drawing a dick in the air.

You nod in understanding and she giggles into her palm once more.

She points to you again, makes a kissy face and points to her lips, then Dave, and then taps his wrist twelve times.

You shake your head a little and she nods in return.

You point to yourself, then cross your hands, hold up a fist and mime shooting it with the other hand and let the fist drop out of the air.

She waves her arms quickly at you and then points to Dave, puts a hand to her forehead and mimics a swoon, fanning herself with her free hand and then points to you once more.

You sigh a little and look between Dave and Feferi.

You don't know, she could just be fucking with you.

On the other hand, if she's not fucking with you, it may turn out really good.

You sigh and turn your attention back to her, and she's staring at you expectantly and you nod a little. She shakes her fists and smiles widely at you, gives you a thumbs up and then turns and joins Sollux and Karkat in their conversation.

You look over to Dave and his brother and they're both looking at Bro's phone before Bro and Dave share a few words and nod.

“Alright, kiddos, time to get this party started.” Dave says with an actual legit little smile and yeah you're definitely gonna kiss him, even if he strikes you down like the hand of God at least you tried, right?

Dave catches your wrist on the way by and leads you to what has been dubbed 'the safe zone' and Feferi and the others are in it after a moment, Bro is lighting shit up, and Dave has a phone (probably Bro's) that's counting down.

In all truth, these are all getting set off ten minutes too early, but when you lean over to ask Dave he just sort of smirks and shakes his head at you, and you start to think it maybe has something to do with their warped sense of irony.

Honestly, you're not sure how anyone could misunderstand irony quite so much, but hey, whatever floats their boat as the saying goes.

As the various firecrackers and popping and flashing and doing their thing you catch Feferi looking at you, and you turn to see her.

She points to Dave and nods, as if asking “You're gonna do it, right right right???” and you offer a small nod as if to say “Yes, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna smooch the Strider.” and she gets this happy looking grin on her face before her eyes are back on the light show and yours are back on Dave.

You're not stupid though. You're not staring directly at him, if you did that he'd definitely know something was up. For sure. Although you're pretty sure he knows something is up, he's not stupid either. Somehow he must know.

You keep looking at the cell phone in his hand and watching the time tick away, down one second after another and in two minutes and fifteen seconds you're gonna kiss Dave and it's gonna be so fucking awkward if he's all “Haha, no way dude, not into you at all, strictly platonic feelings, bro”.

But you decide not to dwell on that.

Besides, Feferi made it seem like he was interested in you, and you trust her, she hasn't given you a reason to not trust her.

You lean over a little, so Dave knows you're watching the timer over his shoulder and he turns just a little to look at you and smirks, turning his attention back down to the phone.

From this angle you can actually see his eyes.

You've never seen them before, and although it's only the side of one that you're seeing they look pretty. They look like a really bright shade of brown, but then... They don't look brown at all. You want to see his eyes some time. You'd really like that.

You hear Feferi and Sollux begin to count down from twenty before Karkat begrudingly joins in. Dave joins in at ten and you're still leaned over staring at the timer and looking at him and as they get down to he last five Dave looks at you.

They hit one and it's now or fucking never, dude, new years only comes once a year, you have this perfect opportunity, he's right there, looking right at you, it's seriously like four fucking inches just to kiss that face, and you want to kiss that face so bad.

From the corner of your eye you catch Sollux and Karkat sharing a new years lip-lock and it's basically all the motivation you need to tip yourself that tiny distance and bam, you're kissing Dave motherfucking Strider.

And he's not pushing you away.

He's not reeling back and getting disgusted, and you're not being rejected.

And at first he's not reacting, and you feel like it's just taking a moment for him to process what's happening, and he'll push you off at any moment, but instead you feel his fingers brush yours and you feel him smile against you and he presses back and wow, holy shit, you're kissing Dave and he's totally kissing you back and holding your hand and shit.

And you're eyes are wide like dinner plates and you're fucking staring right at him and you feel like he's staring back, but you can't tell through the shades (the ones you gave him for Christmas, your brain supplies helpfully).

Then it's done, he finally leans back and there's this weird little wet noise of your lips coming apart and he just fucking smirks at you and then walks over to his brother to give the man his phone.

You look at Feferi who is grinning like a madman and gives you a big thumbs up and then she turns and begins swatting at Sollux and Karkat (still attached at the mouth apparently) and she looks super happy and you can't even fathom why in the world she would be so happy.

Your attention is returned to Dave when he grabs your hand and nods toward the three. “Once they're gona you want to continue Doctor Who or wait until tomorrow, or what?”

“Definiely continue Doctor Who.” You answer and he nods in return, and you feel his hand squeeze yours a little and you think you and Dave might be dating or something now, but you're not entirely sure. You'll have to ask about that. But maybe not right now.

The six of you on the roof clean up all the little cardboard firecrackers and the roof is probably cleaner than it was before you got up there in within half an hour.

Dave's three friends all leave at the same time (apparently Fef drove the other two and she needed to take them home ASAP) twenty minutes later and you're back on your couch with Dave shortly after, continuing with the next episode of the show.

Although halfway through the show is forgotten because Dave has fallen asleep with his head in your lap and you're following close behind, but you don't want to bother him, but you can't fall asleep like this.

You decide it'll be easier to bother Dave, but only slightly, and you convince him to sit up so you can lay down at least a little bit. The end position ends up with you on your back and Dave drooling like a bloodhound on your chest and you don't particularly mind it. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.

You end up staying up a lot longer than you thought you would, enjoying being so close to Dave. You'll have to run it by him to find out what exactly is up with your relationship now because you don't want to start saying 'oh yeah I have a boyfriend' if that's not the case with all parties involved.

When you do finally fall asleep you can hear your dad shuffling about in the other room to get ready for work. That tells you it's about five in the morning. Far to late for you to be up and focused on cuddling your sleeping best friend, and you finally set your glasses on the floor and make an effort to go to sleep.

You're finally slipping off when you hear your dad chuckling softly nearby and before you can say anything you're out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now that you've read that, whadya think?  
> You like?  
> I thought so.  
> Again, sorry about the way long time between updates.  
> Also, feel free to tell me about any typos, grammar mistakes, continuity errors and things of that nature
> 
> On another note, I figured out the story I may work on after this one.  
> It's basically a fuck ton of death and sex, literally the entire point of it is so that I can write the most disturbing and depraved smut I possibly can.  
> I'll put it to you this way.  
> Immortal John, who gets off on being killed, and killer Bro, who indulges him frequently.  
> (I'm torn between the titles Death and Sex and Batshit Crazy Bitches in Love; but look forward to that one, it may be coming around anywhere from April to June) (Meaning I intend to have this one done by April, but it may take until June!)


	11. Green Eyed Adventure Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and John go to the beach and then THIS WEIRD CHICK waltzes into their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YOU READY FOR JADE MOTHERFUCKING HARLEY  
> Because she's in this chapter.  
> I hope I have done her justice (cough i probably haven't wow)

There's a list ten miles long of odd things you've done.

So far, however, nearing the top of that list, is going to the beach in the dead of winter.

Naturally when Dave asked your first instinct was to ask 'why?' with a long stretched out whine at the end.

His answer; “It's gonna be warm today.”

Your response. “what makes you think that.

His answer “The fact that no one else does.”

And that's how you ended up here, with your legs dangling off a dock, your toes dipped into the freezing water as Dave lays on his stomach, flicking around the water with his finger next to you. Despite what he'd said it's still pretty cold. It's still in the thirties, but barely. You think the last time either of you checked in was thirty-nine.

But a couple hours worth of driving wasn't that big of a deal, tomorrow school would start and Dave's already told you about how much of a hell-hole it is. You think he may have been exaggerating, but you're not really sure.

He seems pretty content being here, at least. You're not getting those weirdly stressed vibes you get from him when you're back home. When he's around his brother or his friends. Hell he's even more calm than he's ever been around you. He just seems so chill.

You think for a moment he's forgotten you're there, because there's this silly little smile on his face, and you're sure he doesn't even realize he's doing it. He loks so nice when he smiles.

But when he smiles you can see it; the way his cheeks are just a hint too small. Too small to be healthy at least, and you can see the dimple next to the corner of his eye and the fact that smiling is so foreign to him. His smile makes you sad. Maybe sad isn't the right word, maybe more worried. Worried that there's something wrong. Worried that it looks like such a strange feeling, and wondering why would it be so odd?

People are supposed to smile.

You force a hand to leave the safety of your jacket's pocket and place your fingers at the base of his neck, watch him flinch with the contact before running your fingers up, through his hair and they get caught part way and it makes you giggle. “Your hair is so messy.” You say and he reaches back to grab your hand, so that he can turn his head without you pulling his hair, you assume, and turns to you.

“Yeah dude, it kind of comes with the territory of being ridiculously fucking curly. Was that really necessary? Now you'll never get your hand back, it's doomed to be feasted upon by the rats that inhabit this nest,” he motions to his head before sighing and continuing, “You're gonna have to get a hook hand and become a pirate. You'll have this personal vendetta against the vermin living on my scalp for the rest of your life. You'll arr like a pirate.” He sits up, reaches back with both hands and begins to tug at your hand before you see him wince and then look at you. “Dude your hand is actually caught in my hair, what the fuck?” He curses under his breath as he continues to try and untangle it.

You push his hands away, and tell him you may have better luck, considering you can see it and you fight for a minute, being careful of pulling too hard on the red curls before finally your hand is free from the hairy entanglement and you use your now freed hand to wrap the arm around his shoulders, pull him to your side and blow a raspberry into his neck.

He makes a notably not-cool noise and you laugh at him as he shoves you off and rubs the spot. He continues to curse under his breath before he slumps a little and shakes his head, smiling (dude like a genuine smile at your utter stupidity, you can feel those butterflies doing their thing in your stomach) and resting his cheek on your shoulder. “Fucking dork.” He mumbles and his hand finds yours, still on his shoulder.

“Yes, I am a huge dork. The biggest dork of all times. All shall bow before my dorkiness!” You announce to the water, and Dave snorts at you. You kick some water up with your foot, uselessly, for it goes the wrong direction, and he squeezes your arm.

“The biggest dork of all time, and he's lucky because I apparently like his dorky ass.”

“Why thank you, Dave. I like your dorky ass too.” He offers another snort and finally sits up on his own again looking over at you.

“So we've been here for like two hours and it hasn't warned up yet, can we go home now?” You ask.

You watch him and he shakes his head a little before shrugging and finally saying, “We can go sit in your car if you'd prefer. You don't even have to turn it on, we can make our own heat.” And you see his eyebrows bouncing over the rim of his glasses and snort a laugh.

He does stand though and offers you a hand, “Was serious about the car thing, though. It's colder than eskimo vag out here.” You scoff at the comparison before declining the offered hand and pushing yourself up to your feet. You're not exceptionally strong, but you're not interested in the potential of accidentally pulling him into the wate  
You put your shoes and socks back on and you head back to your car with Dave. It's a good ten or eleven years old, like any teenagers car should be. There's this huge dent in the side that was there when you got it and the driver's side door has a gap that makes it look like it's not closed all the way even when it is. The passenger side door has some peeled paint. But the heater and air conditioning work, the windshield isn't cracked, so all in all it gets the job done.

It also has a fairly spacious backseat (for a two door, that is).

A feature Dave tells you that he will one day take vigorous advantage of.

You're not sure how to feel about that.

You do get into the driver's seat, simply because, to be frank, you're not quite ready for the whole taking advantage of your back seat size thing. You're a little surprised when Dave gets in on the other side, but you're not at all surprised that not two seconds later you have a lapful of ginger and his ass is just on the steering wheel enough for the horn to be blaring.

You break into a fit of giggles as he tries to remove his posterior from the noisy spot, with little success, and he makes this annoyed/embarrassed sound as he twists his body in an attempt to figure out just what exactly is going on back there that is apparently gluing his butt to the horn.

When it's finally bordering on unbearable you lend a hand (literally) by reaching around and grabbing his ass, pulling him closer to you. This, of course, subsequently pulls him to your chest and his chin is now digging into your shoulder as he grumbles to himself about being a 'fucking embarrassment to the Strider name' which only serves to make you laugh more.

“Just hang on a second, alright.” You mumble, switching hands on him and reaching as carefully as possible, so as not to set of the horn once more, around him and under the seat. It takes a moment of prodding, but you manage to find the little lever, and pull it up to release the seat, letting it slide back to the farthest it will go and leaning back on it again. You release the prime posterior and smile at Dave. “Better?” You ask and he turns his head to look, sees that there is plenty of room and he sits himself on your thighs with a small huff.

“Maybe if you weren't so fucking close to the steering wheel all the time that wouldn't have happened.” He says, but there's no real anger behind it. He crosses his arms like a petulant child and you snort at him.

“Well maybe if you didn't have such a fat ass you wouldn't have set off the horn.” You throw back.

The shift in his mood is immediate and obvious, and for a split moment you feel like you've said something wrong. He gets this forced smirk on his face and opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but all that comes is a wheeze of strained laughter.

He shakes his head and before you can ask if that actually upset him there's a hard knock on the window that makes both of you jump out of your skin (Dave's head hits the roof, but he pretends it didn't happen). You turn to see who it could be an see big green eyes and a grin on a chubby tan face. The girl's hair looks like it goes on for fucking ever, like what the hell it's going past her waist. She waves happily at the two of you, and you feel Dave move off of you as you pull open your door to talk to her.

“Hi there!” She says with a smile and drops the large backpack off her back. “Can I get a ride?” She asks and you look over to Dave, who looks almost as confused as you and shrugs.

“Uhhh...” You try to formulate an answer. It's not every day a random girl comes and asks you for a ride on an abandoned beach in the middle of winter. “I... Guess? Where to?”

She giggles and then looks up like she's thinking about it. “I dunno.” She says finally, and places a finger to her chin. “Doesn't really matter. Wherever you're going works.” She says and then a look of realization strikes her and she turns around quickly.

This is when you get a good view of the rifle strapped to her back and your instinct kicks you into shoving yourself back and yelling “What the hell!?” Like it's going out of style. She doesn't turn back though and you hear her whistle loudly, and then you hear a dog bark.

“Oh my god this bitch is going to kill us and feed us to her dog.” You hear Dave whisper from behind you and then turn around to face him and see him grinning at you. He's being surprisingly nonchalant about the fact that this girl, probably no older than you or him, has a fucking gun on her and is asking you for a ride, and whistling for a dog.

There are so many things wrong with this situation.

You hear the jingle of a collar, turn and see a large white German Sheppard jumping up onto your knees and sniffing intently at your chest and face. The girl grabs onto his collar and tugs it gently saying “Down, Bec,” and the dog sits next to her on the ground.

“Sorry about that.” She says with a grin, “He loves new people.” She scratches the top of his head and then looks back to you, sees that you're still reeling back because of the gun and he grabs the strap, pulling it off her back. “Scared?” She asks, and holds it out to you. “Not gonna kill you or nothing, gosh, don't be a drama queen!” She rolls her eyes and Dave chuckles behind you as you carefully move the equipment somewhere that is not your lap and instead is the passenger floor space.

“So can I get a ride or not?” She asks, placing her hands on her jean clad hips, looking at you expectantly.

Your mouth just sort of hangs open embarrassingly. You're not sure where this girl came from, really. You don't know that she's not actually a murderer.

A hand comes around you and Dave leans over your shoulder. “Sup. Name's Dave. The speechless boy wonder here is John.” He pats your shoulder with his other hand and she giggles at you again.

“I'm Jade.” She says and then rubs the dog's head with her spare hand. “And this is Bec. We're not out to kill anyone, I promise. Just target practice, and then hitchhiking, and I figured I could trust a couple teenage boys trying and failing to make out in a car.” You look at Dave, whose head is still over your shoulder and his smile drops a little. “Yeah, I heard that. And When I came to check it out I saw you two, thus here we are!” She motions to the car. “You don't even have to take me that far, just like a supermarket or something, I need to get some food for Bec.”

“Well we weren't planing on leaving quite yet, but I guess we can go.” He looks at you and you offer a small nod. “We live out in Houston, you wanna go all the way there or what?” She looks slightly surprised.

“You drove all the way to the beach in January just to smooch in a car?” She asks and you splutter out a no.

“I brought him here because he asked.” You point a thumb at Dave and Jade nods thoughtfully.

“Couple'a boyfriends sneakin' away for secret makeouts, huh?” She says with this smirk on her face before you feel Dave remove himself from your shoulder and climb out of the car.

He gets in the backseat and Jade wanders around to the other side, tossing her backpack in the back with Dave, and Bec climbs back there. She gives him a command something like “sit nice” or whatever, and the dog parks himself in the seat and lets Dave pet him while Jade buckles her seat belt and picks her gun up from the floor, making a point of not pointing it in either of your directions.

“So where we headed, oh, capitan?” She asks, looking at you and for a moment there you'd forgotten you were the one driving the car for this adventure.

“I. Don't know, Jade, do you want to go all the way to Houston or what?” You ask. If she is col with going all the way to Houston then good, yes, less stops to make.

She shrugs before finally nodding. “Sure, never been to Houston before.” She reaches back and pets her dog before sitting forward again and looking at you.

You fumble with the keys for an extra moment before you finally get the car started and leave the beach.

You get about fifteen minutes away before a finger slams into the window and Jade grins and makes this weird squeaking noise.

“We should go there!” She exclaims and you look up to see the billboard advertising some restaurant and quirk an eyebrow at her.

“Why?”

“So we can eat, duh!” She says and jumps in her seat a bit, “please, John, can we go, please please please, I'll pay and everyting, come on! Free food, John! Free food!” You hold up a hand to calm her down and listen to Dave laughing at you in the back.

“Fine, fine, we can go to the place. Where did the sign say it was?”

“It said it was a couple miles ahead,” She points, and smiles wide. “Onward, Johnathan!”

“My name's not Johnathan.”

“Oh.” She deflates slightly and looks at you, curious. “Then what the heck is John short for?” She asks.

“Uh. Nothing. It's just. John. That's my full name.”

She looks surprised for a moment before shrugging, “Alright, whatever Johnny.” She says, and smirks and you sigh loudly because this is going to be an interesting road trip. And it's going to feel ten times longer with the way Dave is laughing at your expense in the back seat.

It's only ten minutes later that you're pulling into the parking lot of Jade's chosen joint and you look into the back seat to see Dave and Bec both asleep. The dog curled up in the seat and Dave's forehead pressed against the small window, his shades skewed enough that you can see one closed eye and the impossibly dark underside of it. It almost looks like a black eye. Yikes.

You reach back and nudge him, stirring him just enough that his hands find their way to his face, fixing the eyewear before he turns to you. “We there yet?” he mumbles and Jade giggles, climbing out of the car and pulling the passenger seat forward. “Oh, alright, I guess so.” He mumbles, and rubs at his face. You're not sure how he fell asleep that fast, but yu don't mention it.

Jade coaxes her dog out of the car and gives him the simple command to stay by the car. She grabs a bowl and a handful of dog food from her backpack and leaves it next to him.

“You sure he'll be okay right here?” You ask as you open your door, pulling the seat forward so Dave can get out.

“Yep! He's a big boy, he ought to be fine.” She scratches the top of his head, digs around in her backpack again and pulls out a wallet, stuffing it into her pocket and grinning at you and Dave. “So are you bitches hungry or what?” She asks with a smirk, motioning for you to follow and making her way toward the building.

Dave turns to you and folds his hands together. “I like her, can we keep her, please please please.” He mocks a child and grins at you. You promptly swat him in the side and he chuckles, rubbing at the spot and following after Jade.

She does all the talking to the hostess and requests a seat close to a window and very quickly the three of you are seated.

Jade is quiet, and her lips are pursed as she looks at the menu and tries to decide what she wants to eat. You look over to Dave who isn't even looking at the menu and pick it up, nudging it against his hand.

He looks over to you and sighs. “What?”

“You already know what you're getting?” You ask.

“Yeah.”

“What're you getting?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“Not hungry.”

“You should get something anyways.”

“Why?”

“Because it's free.”

“It's not free. And I'm not going to make Jade here spend her hard earned cash on me if I'm not even going to eat it.”

“Well maybe you'll change your mind.” You sit back in your chair a little. “Just. Get something.” He sighs again. “For my sake, if nothing else.” He offers yet another loud sigh. Now he's just being a brat.

“Fine. If it'll calm your inner mother hen I will order something.” And he takes the menu and begins looking it over.

You finally take the time to look at yours, and decide on this greasy looking burger that looks like it's ninety percent bacon, ad the waiter comes by and takes your orders. Jade chirps excitedly at the man as she explains the specifics of her meal, explaining that she wants it without onions, and with extra tomatoes or whatever it is. Dave mumbles his so quietly the man asks him to repeat it a number of times before you manage to understand it and tell the man for him. You feel like you're only one who straight up said your order and let the poor man move on with life and he looks silently thankful as he takes your menus and leaves.

The table is almost uncomfortably quiet once the man is gone. The sound of other people's conversations play as background noise, and the sound of silverware touching ceramic dishes plays alongside it. It's altogether a rather calm atmosphere.

You feel Jade's foot tap your leg, and you look up to her with a questioning look. “So how long have you two been together?” She asks with a little smile. “I could be wrong, but I'm gonna guess it hasn't been that long.”

You find yourself humming a bit. “Since New Years. Just a few days.”

“Aw, did you have a new years kiss and everything?” She asks and you feel yourself smirk at the memory, nodding at her.

“Yep.” Dave says. “Apparently my friend Feferi gave him the idea.” He says and quirks an eyebrow at you. “They're apparently very skilled in gesture conversations.” Jade giggles at this, smiling widely at the two of you.

“Well you're a very cute pair, I think.” She says. Conversation comes fairly easy after that.

She asks you about Houston, Dave does most of the talking, she asks about Dave's friends, and asks about yours. You tell her about them. She insists she knows a guy named Tavros, and after a fairly brief and embarrassing conversation via pesterchum on her phone you find out it is indeed the same Tavros.

You say goodbye to him as your food comes around and you're halfway through your food when you notice Dave hasn't touched his. All you do is point, give him a 'mother hen' look and he seems to stare at it for a long time before he takes a french fry from beside the burger and begins to nibble at it much like a rabbit.

You just let your stare linger and he finally starts eating like normal.

You're not sure what his deal is with eating in front of people. After the first week in Houston he told you that eating in front of people made him uncomfortable. Which is why you never saw him eat, but he seems to be doing just fine now.

The conversation quiets as the three of you eat, and once all plates are clean (even Dave's, you're kind of proud) Jade insists she is getting dessert and asks if you or Dave want any. Dave declines, but there's a pie on the little stand in the middle of the table that's been calling your name ad you take her up on her offer.

Dave announces that that was the greasiest burger he has ever scarfed down and leaves to go 'wash all this sick gunk off my hands, like, god damn guys this shit is nasty'.

You and Jade have received and started on your respective desserts by the time Dave gets back, this weird guilty loking hunch to his shoulders and a hand pressed to his stomach.

You don't ask, and Jade doesn't mention it.

You finish and Jade leaves a sufficient wad of bills on the table, and the three of you leave. Bec is still sat dutifully by the car and barks happily when Jade comes into sight. She drops to a knee and holds her arms out, says 'come here' and the dog finally moves from his spot, bounding across to her and she picks him up happily. You and Dave both stare in slight awe at her ability to carry that dog by herself.

“Still want to go to Houston?” You ask Jade, while Dave climbs into the back seat of the car.

“Yessir!” She announces happily. “I'll try not to force us anymore pit-stops now, kay?” She says, saluting you ridiculously and ushering Bec into the back seat.

Talking to Jade this time is easier, and there are a number of times over the next hour of driving that you or her sing along to whatever comes on the radio. You are tone-deaf, which Dave informs you of every time you start singing obnoxiously loud, and Jade just laughs when you over-dramatize a bridge.

Half an hour into the drive you look into the rear view mirror to see Dave is once more fast asleep on the window, and you tell Jade that you should both be quiet and let Dave sleep.

You tel her that you haven't seem him sleep in a while and she asks why. You tell her that he has literally the most fucked up sleep schedule you have ever witnessed in your life and she gets this worried furrow in her brow.

“That certainly doesn't sound healthy.” She says with a frown.

“Not really,” You concede, “but it seems like it's normal? I mean for him, at least.”

She gives a soft hum of acknowledgment and you look into the back seat again and see Bec sleeping with his head in Dave's lap and think that it is a very cute scene.

You give Jade your phone and she takes a picture for you, and then fiddles with it for another minute before setting it in the cup holder.

The rest of the drive is spent in comfortable silence. Jade requests you drop her off at a hotel or something and so you do. She waves goodbye, insists she will talk to you again in the near future, and then ushers Bec to follow her before leaving.

In that moment you accept the fact that she's a bit weird. You know next to nothing about her. But she's very nice.

You look into the back seat, Dave is still sleeping, and decide it's probably a good idea to take him home so he can sleep somewhere that isn't the back seat of your car.

He doesn't wake up wen you try to nudge him back to consciousness, and you learn fairly quickly that despite him being short it's hard to pull a sleeping person out of your back seat. You keep thinking he's going to wake up, when you close the door, when you get inside, while climbing the stairs, but his hand stays firmly fisted into your t-shirt and he continues to mumble the occasional nonsense to himself.

When you knock on the door to his and Bro's apartment the man answers and looks a bit surprised at the guy sleeping in your arms. He opens his mouth to say something a couple times before sort of awkwardly holding out his arms as if he wants you to hand Dave to him or something.

When the red-headed Strider is finally switched from one set of arms to the other, you watch Bro's face as he frowns, shifting Dave a couple times and grumbling to himself about how 'the kid needs to fuckin' eat a sundae or something getting' so fuckin' thin it's pathetic'.

He tells you that Dave'll probably sleep through the night (even thought it's hardly five o'clock) and you two share goodnights for now and you head back down the stairs to your own apartment.

Your dad seems surprised to see you, and tells you he had expected you to stay with Dave. You tell him about how Dave fell asleep and he accepts it without question and you finally, finally get to go to your room. You pull your phone from your pocket to look at the picture of Dave and Bec, and grin like a love-sick moron at how god damn cute Dave is. You see a missed message, from a number labeled as Jade Harley.

Jade Harley: hey John :D This is my number, seriously just text me WHENEVR, I will find the time to talk to you okay!

You send her a reply asking her if she actually stayed at the hotel or if she went somewhere else, and you spend the rest of the evening chatting with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; I wasn't planning on starting Batshit Crazy Bitches in Love until I was done with this one, but I started it. SO it's a thing now.
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/1094762
> 
> Enjoy that.
> 
> (Oh, and we get to meet Rose next chapter.)
> 
> Comment! It makes me feel good!


	12. Every Rose Has It's Thorn, But This One Has a Prick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day back after winter break and it's funny how things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *KISSES* Mwwwaah~  
> Did ya miss me?  
> I BET YOU DID  
> So I had all but given up on this story, let me tell ya.  
> I stumbled across the playlist, started to listen to it and it was like every ounce of dedication I had to this motherfucker returned to me, ten-fold.  
> So here's the new chapter.  
> It's way different than it was before.  
> I hope you like it!

The first half hour of your morning is spent trying not to scream. You feel almost nothing but pain, but it's the worst in your stomach, it feels like it's been removed, skinned raw and replaced and then they decided to just dump an entire shaker of salt in there alongside it. Your teeth feel like they're being shoved back into your skull with how hard you're clenching your jaw just to stave it off, because if you let this pain overwhelm you and you make even the slightest agonized noise Bro will hear you and he will come in and see you.

This has all gotten way out of hand, your mind decides. You saw a pretty face and lost every last ounce of confidence you ever had, and you got freaked out. You feel fucking pathetic. Aren't weight issues supposed to be a girl thing? God you feel like an ass for thinking it. You're just more likely to hear about a girl in this situation than a guy.

Everything hurts.

Everything hurts and it's all you can focus on and you feel pathetic because you're curled up on the bathroom floor crying like a woman at her dead husbands funeral and trying so fucking hard not to hate yourself more than you already do. You can't bring yourself to move more than a few inches at a time and even then any position other than the fetal position send new waves of pain through you and this is fucking pathetic.

Part of your mind tells you to grow a pair, take some pain killers and move on with life. Another part tells you that you need to tell someone. You need to talk to Feferi, or your brother and then the third part tells you to just stay here. Stay on the bathroom floor and cry until you're literally incapable of tears you have cried so much. Eventually Bro will find you.

But you can't stay on the floor, you can't just lie there because you need to go to school. You need to do what that first part says, you need to just take a deep breath, down half a bottle of fucking Tylenol and move the hell on with your life.

And yes, you're basically incapable of movement by the time you've forced yourself to down four of the pills (and silently hope it's not too much, heaven forbid you go to school high off your ass on painkillers, but you doubt it.) and you lie on the kitchen floor for a while longer, waiting waiting waiting, willing the pain to go away, for it to leave you be and let you go to school and see Feferi because you're sure if you tried calling her right now your voice would betray the complete and utter dust pile that currently is your cool-kid-facade.

Finally, finally, finally, after what feels like forever, the pain ebbs away. It drifts off to nowhere and you are incapable of quieting a relieved sob. You hope no one heard. You hope Bro didn't hear.

When you finally stand you lean on every available surface, and finally manage to make it to your room. You catch your refection in the screen of your television and see the way that nothing you have on fits right. It's all too big, it's all slouchy. You tug on the hem of the long-sleeved shirt you slept in, pulling it up and running your fingers over the spot where your hips stick out. They used to be hidden under your skin, only found if you felt, but now they were there, protruding disgustingly for the world to see. Your stomach looks horribly concave and you can almost count your ribs when you pull the shirt off completely.

You thought you felt like shit before you lost weight. You feel worse now, and for what, being too fucking skinny? You can't win this whole being attractive thing, god damn. You don't know how anyone does it.

You put on jeans that refuse to stay up, and you pull on the belt you've had for years, but have only been using for the past week or so. It slips to the third from the last hole and you look at your reflection again and take note of the ill-fitting pants. You just sigh to yourself and grab a shirt and a sweater. You look at yourself once the sweater is on and debate adding another, so it doesn't look so obvious that it's far too big, but decide against it. You tug one of the strings from the hood and slip it between your teeth, gnawing on it habitually as you finish gathering your stuff.

You put on your old shades, making a point of putting the ones John gave you on your desk for the time being, you don't want to take any chances with... Well, anything. They're special to you for totally squishy romantic reasons and you're not going to let some asshole at school ruin them for a cheap laugh.

You do swing by the kitchen and hijack the Tylenol to take with you. You know that technically you're really not supposed to just bring shit like pills to school, but fuck the police and all that shit, you will need these.

You are not at all surprised when you get down to the next floor that John is standing outside his apartment waiting for you, dicking around on his phone when you walk up and greet him with a nod.

You had told him the other day that you normally rode the bus to school and he laughed and said that he would give you a ride so you didn't have to deal with the apparent dumbasses you are surrounded by on the school bus. You played it off like it was no big deal, but you were actually pretty relieved to hear that one.

He smiles at you, this silly little smile that makes him look more like an immature fifteen year old than anything else. He shoves his phone into his pocket, holds out a hand for yours and like a couple of dorks (who happen to be a couple) your hands are firmly clasped together the entire walk down the stairs. Small pleasantries are shared. He asks you how you slept, you say it was fine (It was horrible) he asks you how your morning has been so far and you say that it's been fine (horriblehorriblehorrible) and the last two flights are taken in silence.

The car ride is silent and you arrive at school with twenty minutes to spare. John asks you to show him around, and he manages to fish a schedule out of the mess he's using as a messenger bag. You snort at him, tease him for apparently being incapable of figuring out where shit is himself, and agree to show him the basics, but past that he's on his own.

He holds his hand out for yours again, but this time you don't take it. You don't want someone to see him holding hands with you of all people. And he's a new kid. You think he may get noticed. You don't want his time here to suck so if you can help it nary a soul will learn of your relationship.

Idle chit-chat is made. He shares second period with you. He shares third period with Karkat and Feferi. He has the same lunch as you and your friends. And soon enough the bell is ringing and you're on your way to your respective classes.

You let him hug you, but manage to hurry away before he has the chance to get any more affectionate, finding yourself in your first period gym class faster than you think you've ever been.

And your greeted first thing in the morning by your coach (Coach Wayne) yelling at a short blonde who is glaring pointedly at the man, such a glare that, if it were anyone else, you're sure he'd be even more angry.

You opt not to stand and bear witness to this event, and head for the locker room.

Ah, yes, the locker room. Literally the worst place on the face of the earth. It seems everything bad happens in locker rooms.

This morning everyone is quiet as you make your way through the door. Your locker is off in the back corner, as close to hidden as you could get one, and no one can see you when you step to the side just right. You're halfway through changing into your gym clothes (that feel like they're going to fall off, your mind whines) when you hear the door slam open, angry footsteps following. Whatever quiet mumbles your fellow teenage boys had been sharing were quieted as feet stomped across the room.

“Caught you hiding out in the girl's room did they?” a voice mocks and you can't quite place the name, but it rings up a question. Who are they talking to? You tug your shirt on quickly and peek around the corner, seeing the blonde girl (what's she doing in the boy's locker room?) that Coach was yelling at, glaring violet daggers at the boy's across from her.

“Funny, last I checked it was none of your business. Or did my personal preferences suddenly become a public issue?” She snaps, but there's something in her voice, a certain tone. A pitch.

You know why she's in the boy's locker room.

She and the guy who had called her out (your mind provides you with a c?) have a staring contest for a moment before his smirk falters and shifts into an angry frown.

“I dunno, man, not sure if I feel comfortable with you in here.” He scratches his chin in mock thought as her purple eyes roll in annoyance. You watch as she shakes her head, looks for an out, sees you and gives nothing more than a quirk of her eyebrows before you motion her over. You wordlessly welcome her to your hiding corner

You don't know how much help you'll really be, you're basically a walking sack of bones, but at one point you were a force to be reckoned with. Maybe some of these guys still believe that. And when she comes around the wall of lockers, no one follows, a couple guys glare, but return to their business. You turn around and look to where she has shoved her back up against a corner, a hand over her mouth, fingers shaking slightly over it and holy shit is she crying?

Shit, no, no this isn't right, she shouldn't be crying, why is she crying, fuck.

You don't know how to deal with crying girls.

You simply approach and place a hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay?” You're a fucking genius, a modern day Shakespeare.

She nods quickly, wiping at he cheeks quickly, mumbling yes a few times. “Just stress is all.” She finally mumbles. “New school in a slightly less understanding town.” She says and gives a giggle that can only be described as hysteric. “I really don't feel comfortable in here.” She finally says, giving you a thin smile painted black and you give a small nod.

“I. Can imagine, I guess. Can't really say I understand because I honestly don't, but y'know.” You shrug and she nods a bit.

She lifts a hand, the one she wasn't using to wipe tears from her cheeks. “Rose.” She says and you take it, giving a small shake.

“Dave.”

“It's nice to meet you Dave.” She says, tugging on the strap of a backpack and dropping it to the floor in front of her. “Could you do me the biggest of favors and maybe keep a lookout while I change?” You give a nod, and make your way to the edge of the row of lockers, making sure no guy comes and tries to creep on your newly acquired locker neighbor. You listen, but don't look as you hear a locker rattle, and a combination lock lock and unlock a couple of times.

The locker room is empty by the time she peers around your shoulder and you hear her sigh of relief. She steps around you, adjusts the purple headband on top of her head, smooths out her shirt and gives you a small smile. “Let's just live through this next hour, yeah?” She says and the two of you finally make your way to the gym.

Coach yells at the both of you for being late. Rose tells him that she was uncomfortable in the boy's locker room, they argue back and forth for a moment (Rose staying amazingly calm under Coach's shouts) and finally she tells him that if this can't be taken care of on her own she will have to bring her mother into it. She tells him that she is a busy woman and Coach blatantly gives less than two shits.

After watching Rose during that argument though. And imagining that's what she's always like, when she's not being forced into places she doesn't want to be. You dread to imagine what her mother must be like.

You and Rose are told to walk laps around the gym for the rest of the period. And you two spend the entirety of it talking.

“So, Dave,” She begins, crossing her arms over her chest. “You didn't seem put off by my being in the locker room. Why is that?” You muster a shrug and she nods. “Right. We've only just met and I can already tell your intelligence is of a higher caliber than any of our peers.” She says. “That or it's far below, and you're entirely stupid.” She adds with a smirk.

You snort at her and tell her that you figured her out by her voice, understood why Coach would send her to the boy's locker room despite the very obvious identity and then explained that she shouldn't have to go in there if it makes her uncomfortable.

You then go into a ridiculously in depth discussion about how unfair it is that the teachers are the only ones with a gender-neutral bathroom, because naturally, in her current state, and with Coach announcing it to the whole world, chances are the entire school will know her, and know of her, by lunch time.

You ask her about her mom and she tells you about the woman. Explains that she's a drunk, but extremely intelligent. Tells you about how she's actually a bit confusing. You tell her that you totally understand confusing guardians.

You take a moment to stand up straight while you're walking and notice that you're shorter than even her and feel yourself sigh in annoyance as you slouch back down to your normal hunch.

She asks about your shades, namely why you wear them and you say sensitive eyes, and she tells you she doesn't believe you, but will respect your privacy and not pry into it.

By the time the period is over you and Rose have become good friends. Sure, she's a snarky little witch, and she admits to writing some of the weirdest shit you've ever heard of, but you like her.

You play the lookout once more, while she changes in the locker room.

You watch a couple guys share mumbles and glance in your direction, laughing to themselves at some comment one or the other made. You can feel the trouble brewing pretty quickly.

“Hey Rose?” You say, turning your head so it'll get to her over your shoulder.

“What is it, Dave?”

“You done yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You might want to hurry up.” She doesn't say anything, but you hear the rustling of clothes quicken slightly, and turn back just in time to see three guys stand up from a bench and begin making their way over to you. You mumble a few choice curses as the short brunette is the first to approach.

“Whatcha doin', Strider?” He asks. You think his name was Cory. You don't really care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHA CLIFF HANGER!  
> Soooooo this day of school is probably going to take up three-five chapters all on it's own! Because there were a lot of things I wanted to do and I needed to switch perspectives a lot and I don't like switching mid-chapter.  
> So the next is from John's POV, look forward to that one!
> 
> EDIT  
> Totes forgot, because this is kind of a thing I wanted to tell you guys; my tumblr is bruhthatsgay.  
> Feel free to bother me all you want!
> 
> P.s: NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING!, gets my writing boner stiffer than comments.


	13. Meanwhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's first half of the school day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahah. Hah..-coughing- -tugging on collar-  
> Well it certainly has beena while huh....  
> Uh....  
> Sorry...  
> So sorry...  
> Like wow.  
> Holy fuck.  
> I got involved with some stuff.  
> Like I became a mod of Striderclan and stuff just started happening and I have my job and stuff and just... I work with kids... And like... Idk.  
> You guys dont need my excuses pf.  
> Here's a new chapter.  
> I'll try to update more frequently.

It's interesting, being the new kid for the first time in more than eleven years. You went to the same schools your entire life, and suddenly being in a new one is throwing you off something fierce. The other kids keep looking at you like you're a piece of meat. You got hit on your entire first period. When you tried to tell her to stop the teacher would call you out for talking and then let her continue on her merry way. It wasn't until the very end of that class that you got to tell her you were 1, gay and 2, unavailable, and even then she grabbed your hand and scribbled her number on your palm.

But once it was over you were happy. You had second period with Dave! You use a little spit and some friction and get the girl's number off your hand as you hurry to the next classroom. You're stoked. You might get to sit next to Dave and pass notes like a couple of lame-o's. It'll be great, you decide, as you slip into the classroom, double checking your schedule for the seventh time to make sure you have the room right.

When you get inside, you're not sure where to sit. You make your way to the middle, choosing some random seat. When Dave gets there you'll move if he wants.

You sit for a few minutes, twiddling your thumbs idly, until a guy walks up, and rests a hand on the desk you're seated at. “You're in my seat.” You look up, obviously confused and he takes his hand off the desk. “Oh. You must be new.” He says and sighs, “Just. Move over one, yeah? This is where I sit.” You move over one desk and he sits down next to you, holds out a hand and introduces himself. “Cory Vaughn.”

You stare at his hand for a moment, noting the split knuckle, still red and crusty with barely dry blood. “John. Egbert. I'm not shaking that, by the way.” You point at his hand and he turns it, looking at it and 'oh'ing, softly. He mumbles 'whatever' and sets it back on his desk.

“Well, John. New kid. I'm a nice guy. You sat in the right place, y'see, because I can tell you who and who not to talk to.” Wow, this guy sounds like a complete tool. You almost feel like asking if he lives in a toolbox, but decide against it. He looks to the three other students in the room and then back to you. “Don't talk to any of them. They're all losers. That one likes fucking, anime or some shit.” He points to a girl, reading quietly in the back corner. He points with a thumb to the next guy, a taller one with ridiculously long hair. “Metal-head. Probably one of those satanist people. Avoid, unless you want to be his next virgin sacrifice.” You are starting to regret your seat already. Dude didn't even give you a chance to say 'no thanks' and leave. “That one's a huge slut.” He points to the next, a girl in tight pants and a hoodie. Whatever.

“You're kind of a dick.”

He barks a laugh, eyes turn in your general direction and he nods. “Yeah. Yeah I am.”

Great.

As a few more come in he throws out some more really stupid characterizations. A girl with a pixie cut comes in and he calls her a lesbian, even though you saw her holdings hands with a dude in the hallways before coming in here. One guy comes in and he throws out the word faggot and you resist the urge to punch him. You just want Dave to come in and take you away from this guy, seriously. There are a couple people who come in and sit near you and Cory, joining in the conversation. He introduces you, much to your dismay, and then tells you that these two are cool.

Three more people come in and finally, FINALLY, Dave steps in. You're a bit shocked by what you see. Bruised jaw, split lip. What the fuck happened? You're about to move when you hear Cory slap a hand on the desk you were sitting in. “Avoid. At all costs.” You turn to him and he nods his head at Dave. “We call him demon child. Fucker's got red eyes.”

“They say he sacrificed his parents to satan.” The girl sitting behind you adds, with a grin.

“What, Dave?” They look impressed.

“Already heard of him, have you?” The Australian accented boy behind Cory asks.

You look over to Dave again. Who has his head pointed in your direction. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even acknowledge you he takes a seat on the other side of the fucking room, what the hell dude?

“Seriously?” You turn back to the three again. “Dave?” You're. A little dumbfounded. You've talked to plenty of people who had been bullied, but you've never had a conversation with the bullies. Was this what it was always like? “What's so bad about Dave?”

The three share a look, a laugh, and Cory puts a hand on your shoulder, despite how much you tried to lean way. “Dude, just wait. You'll see. Guy's crazy.” You're about a hundred percent sure you're done with this conversation, and you lift Cory's hand from your shoulder.

“Yeah, okay. I'm just gonna. Go over there. And sit somewhere else. Yeah.” You stand and they let you go, but not without a 'don't ever say I didn't warn you' from Cory. You cross the room, take the seat next to Dave and turn to him.

“So sorry, I didn't realize my cloaking device was on.” You start and he leans his head a bit to look at you.

“Why are you sitting here?”

“Why not?”

“You shouldn't sit by me.”

“Why?”

“Because no one sits by me.”

“Well I do now, so deal with it.”

You watch him, he frowns, bites his lip, flinches and starts rubbing at the split with his tongue. “So where did that come from?”

“None of your business.”

“I think it's at least sort of my business.” You try leaning a little to see if you can get a better look at the bruise. It's the size of a fucking softball, spanning the majority of the left side of his jaw. It looks painful. He looks upset. You want to ask, but at the same time. You're pretty good at telling when he's serious about not wanting to talk about something. Shit. This is not going to be fun. It was supposed to be fun! You were supposed to be able to have this one period to dick around with Dave and be a nuisance, and write notes like elementary schoolers!

He looks over to you again, this time looking neutral as ever. You don't get it. At all.

Is it because of Cory? That whole... Demon child thing? What was even up with that. How do people even come up with someone sacrificing their parents to Satan too, like what? Where did that even come from? And red eyes. His eyes are brown, aren't they? You've seen them. Kind of. It was dark. But they were definitely brown, right? Like light brown. Those guys are just assholes. Making up shit.

Certainly not how you expected your first class with Dave to go, you'll admit this much.

The bell ringing startles you, just enough for you to jump. The room has a few empty seats here and there, the one in front of Dave is empty, the other two are in the back. The teacher begins a peppy little speech, welcoming everyone back from break. She mentions a new student, gives a vague gesture in your direction, tells everyone not to be rude to you and then moves on. You take a moment to thank whatever deities exist that she didn't make a huge deal out of it.

She begins to go through students, starting at the other end of the room, asking about their Christmas breaks. You take this opportunity to turn to Dave, wave your hand just enough to get his attention.

“Dude, what the hell?” You mouth, and you can't see it but you can almost feel him rolling his eyes at you.

“Just trust me.” He mouths back.

And you do! You do trust him, but why does trusting him suddenly mean not being able to talk to him?

Your eyes drift. They go to the ones you were sitting with before. They’re looking in your general direction. Pointing and you hear a snicker from one. Do you even want to know? You look back to Dave, who is looking forward once more.

You try your best to remember that you can't talk to him for the rest of the class. You don't learn anything new, and when you're supposed to be taking notes you are, instead, scribbling nonsense on the page and trying to shift through all the possible reasons Dave wouldn't want to associate with you during school.

Is it the cool kid thing he's got going on? Does he think he's too cool to hang out with a new kid? Seriously, that'd be a dick move, what an asshole.

But you bite your tongue. You'll get answers out of him later. Even if you have to do something stupid.

When the bell rings you wait. Dave doesn't move until the last few people are on their way out and as soon as the class room is empty you turn to him, make your upset obvious, and wordlessly demand an answer when he finally bothers to turn your direction. "Stop staring at me like that. Making me feel like I'm in trouble or some shit, little Tom who just shoved a kid off the monkey bars and pretended like it wasn't him. Seriously though."

You don't grant a response, and wait for him to get the hint. You know when he does because his shoulders sag and he turns to face you fully. "Look, I know you're pissed. The cliché to ruin all clichés is the whole it's not you it's me thing but sometimes it's not a bold faced lie from a guy who just wants you to put out.

"I don't want people to immediately hate you because you're hanging out with me, alright." It sounds like it should make sense. He says it like it should, but it really doesn't.

The faintest quirk of his lips registers to you as a frown and he leans over, kissing the very corner of your lips as he asks you not to be mad at him. You tell him you'll try. You're not down for being ignored though and he mumbles an acceptance of that before telling you good bye and leaving the classroom.

Third period is infinitely less fun. While you do have it with Karkat and Feferi, the teacher is pretty strict right off the bat. She insists on silence. No gum chewing, no talking, only learning, or some shit and you can only look over to see Karkat cursing silently to himself or Feferi doodling fish on her notes. You decide that third period would be better with a different teacher, because Karkat and Feferi already know you a little bit, and both seem to like you well enough.

You head to your next class, fourth, significantly less enthused about this than before. In it there are already a lot of students and you take one of two empty seats one row from the back, hoping you haven't intruded on anyone's space again. 

The moments pass, other seats are taken and it's a long while before a voice next to you speaks up, asking if the seat next to you is taken. You turn to tell the guy that you don't know when you see someone who is very obviously a girl. Or at least presents themselves in such a way and you take an extra moment of processing before talking to her.

"I don't know. I don't think so. No one's there." She looks you over before a small smile comes across her darkened lips. There may have been makeup there once but it look as if it's been rubbed away.

"You're new too?" She asks, taking the seat next to you and tucking a strand of what may have been styled at one point hair behind her ear. She looks like she's seen some hell this morning, but you're polite enough not to ask. 

You give a nod to her question and she holds out a hand. "Well then let's be new together then. Rose Lalonde. You?" 

You accept, shaking her small hand carefully, and smiling because hey someone's actually talking to you! "John Egbert. Nice to meet you Rose." As she pulls her hand back you notice a bruise on her wrist. Why is everyone you see injured today?

She, unfortunately, notices you noticing the bruise and looks between it and you. She holds it up and puts on a smirk. "You should see the other guys." And it's such a chill and smooth response that you don't even care where it came from. You laugh a little bit and she drops the arm away, smiling down at her desk, her eyes shifting as she shakes her head. "You look like you've seen your fair share too, yeah?"

You almost ask what she's talking about, but follow her gaze to your arm, and the words don't come. The only obvious one is the big one. "Yeah I guess." You eventually concede, frowning a bit at the memory.

She's got on this soft smile, like she understands exactly what you went through, and carefully places her fingers over the scar. "I hope everything is better now."

And you think it is. Definitely better.

You smile and tell her this and she smiles bigger in return. "Good."

The teacher doesn't show up until halfway through the period. You and Rose get into a serious discussion about internet culture while waiting. When the teacher does show up he puts on a movie and says there was no point in trying to squeeze in any learning.

Rose tells you about her mother, an esteemed scientist, you told her about your father, an esteemed prankster, and the both of you have a few good laughs sharing stories of parental shenanigans.

“Seriously, he gets into moods where everything can be turned into a joke.” And she gives a soft giggle, encouraging you to continue. “Like one time, I don’t remember the original thing he said, but I said ‘someone’s in a mood’ and he turned to me and said ‘no, John, I’m in a house.’” Rose giggles through her fingers at you.

This is great. You’re making a friend. Or you’ve made a friend already. You’re not sure what it exactly takes to qualify as a friend for Rose, seeing as it’s different for different people. But you think you’re good so far, seeing as she hasn’t asked you to piss off.

The bell signalling the end of class cuts off the middle of a line in the movie but no one was paying attention in the first place. Rose asks you what your next class is, and you two swap schedules. You only have this one class with her, but that’s fine.

She gives you a big smile and a wave and leaves the classroom, with you following shortly behind, before you split in opposite directions. This is cool though.

On your way to your next class you try to remember who Dave said you had it with. You don’t think you have it with anyone, and when you get into the room most of the seats are already taken. You take an empty one, and don’t recognize any faces. You miss Rose already. And Dave. Honestly, even though he was being weird, you still liked at least knowing someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear it's not dead. It's not going to die.  
> There may be a while between updates but  
> NO DEATH.  
> Anyways.


	14. There Is No Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhh now that I'm off work I should be able to update more frequently. Since it's not a hassle anymore. That's my plan. Also I want to finish either this story or Batshit Crazy Bitches in Love sometime before work starts, so that'll be a trip.

Government brings with it a new kind of terrible. You have this class with Feferi and Eridan, which isn't bad, in fact they make the class tolerable. Except you sit in the back and they sit in the front. You also sit next to Jessi, Cory's gal-pal, who likes to make the class a living hell. 

You can see from where you’re seated that Eridan isn’t feeling good, whether it’s physical or emotional you’re not sure but he’s hunched and Feferi is rubbing his arm and whispering to him. The teacher hasn’t showed up yet, and Jessi is surprisingly minding her own business. But you’re uncomfortable being near her and you see Feferi peek over her shoulder at you.

She mouths the question of “Are you okay?” a few times and you don't answer the first few times, eventually you give a soft shake of your head, immediately regretting and hoping she hadn't noticed.

But of course she had, and she was immediately whispering to Eridan again. You read “I'll be right back,” on her lips before she kissed his forehead and walked back to where you sat, she knelt next to your desk, putting herself between you and Jessi and it was actually a little better, you felt safer with your friend there next to you. She puts a hand on your shoulder and again asks if you're okay. You give another shake of your head and she stays there, hushing you softly and promising that she'll lend you an ear after class.

“You're going to be okay, Dave.” She says softly, and you want to believe her, you do, but fuck it's hard. How do you recover from this? How do you get back to being okay after you've gone this far down?

How far down have you really gone? You wonder if there really is any hope for you.

When the teacher finally arrives the first thing he does is tell Feferi to get back to her seat, and she does. She gives you a kiss too, much like she did with Eridan, and you make yourself breathe for a bit.

It's ten minutes in when the teacher breaks the class into groups. He says he won't let you choose, but when you switch places with the girl who was grouped with Feferi and Eridan he doesn't call you out.

You do most of the work, but you don't mind it, Feferi is still talking to Eridan and Eridan is still jumping back and forth between scarily calm and borderline panic attack.

You think his cousin came to visit over the break; from what you're getting of their conversation. You met Cronus once. He was... Well you don't want to be in the same room as him ever again. Dude's an asshole. You're sure it's not even on purpose. He just is.

You take in Eridan's face, the bruises under his eyes, the one peeking out of the sleeve of his sweater, and the nails bitten down to the red and irritated skin. He's in bad shape, you don't think he's been this bad since freshman year. You don't see his neck until he goes back to being calm and he rests his hands on the desk, and the bruising sends a hint of terror down your spine.

The dark purple over the dark skin makes the shape of hands and you don't know if their his or someone else's. They look like they could be his but you know better than to ask. If you ask it might bring up something and send him spiraling and you're not about to fuck this up.

So you stay quiet and work more or less independently on the assignment. You do occasionally hand the paper to Feferi so she'll write in an answer or something so it's not obvious it was a one man effort. She goes back to mumbling to Eridan the moment shes set her pencil down.

You turn in the paper before any of the other groups, and you sit by while Feferi frets over her friend.

Actually you don't think the word fret fits. Fret carries a negative connotation, and you don't want to give a negative meaning to the way Feferi carefully pets Eridan's shoulders and his cheek, and the way she quietly reassures him, over and over again as he shakes under her hands.

Curiosity, as much of a bitch as it may be, takes a back seat. You know better than to pry by this point. Feferi may tell you, but you won't prompt her to. It's all up to her.

Class ends soon enough and Feferi sends Eridan on his way with another kiss, a couple more to each of his cheeks, and a reassurance that she'll have her phone on her all day, and he can text if he needs to, or call and she'll find a way to get out of class to get to him.

You wonder if John would get out of class to help you through a mental break down.

You discard the thought quickly and refocus on Feferi who turns to you with an unhappy little frown. She puts a hand on your shoulder and leads you away from the class Eridan just went into and around a corner to a secluded little nook in the hallway. She stands in the opening and leans on the wall, putting a hand on your cheek.

“Is it...” She pauses, and you can see her looking for words in the way her eyes drop to your shirt, and she presses a hand to your stomach, whether she did it consciously or not is beyond you, but you look down and watch her hand push the fabric until it meets your skin and her face scrunches up. “Dave...”

“I know.”

“It's really bad.”

“I know...”

“It... Does it hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“Dave. You have to... You have to eat... You really do, and I know it's hard but you have to try.”

“I did try, but...”

“But?” Her eyes go up, meeting yours through your shades and you don't give an answer, you let her stare you down until she figures it out herself. “Oh.” Her face falls further; you didn't think it was possible. “You threw up, didn't you.” It's not a question, but you nod in answer anyways. “Did you...?”

“Yeah.” She nods slowly. Her hand falls away from your stomach and she fists it in front of her chest, she's thinking. Her thinking face easily distinguished by the way her eyes dart around the floor. She searches for a long time, the bell rings, but you don't make a move to go to class, and neither does she.

“Dave, I want you to go talk to my therapist. I mean she's not mine anymore, technically, but she. She helped me when I went through this. I saw her a lot earlier so I didn't get as bad as you but... She can help, Dave.” Her hands are on your shoulders again, and she stares at you until you give the barest of nods. “Look, we do need to get to class. I'll give you her number at lunch. And I want you to call her. Tonight.” You nod again.

She closes the distance, pulling you into a tight hug that sends a jolt of pain up your spine but you return it. You squeeze her as well and listen to her tell you that she loves you.

“You're one of my best friends, Dave. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of you.” She kisses your cheeks, she tells you that you can call her too. And she goes to her next class.

In Art Karkat questions why you were late, but you can't bring yourself to explain it all. You tell him you got caught up talking to Feferi. He doesn't pry, which surprises you.

Art passes in a blur, you start the next project on your list (painting fruit, ooh, how original), Karkat talks at you and doesn't mind that you don't talk back much. You're mind is wrapped up in what it would be like to explain to a therapist that you saw your friend-now-boyfriend for the first time and some part of you decided it didn't want to eat anymore.

Lunch comes soon enough, and John joins you and the rest of your friends at the usual table. Eridan is there, which is unusual, but you expected it, he always comes to sit with Feferi when it gets bad.

John sits next to you, and you watch him carefully introduce himself to Eridan. The two share a whole five sentences before John gets Eridan to crack a smile and it's. Quite Frankly you're amazed.

Karkat is in the process of attempting to force feed you a chicken nugget when a voice laughing catches everyone's attention. 

At the end of the table stands Rose, a hand on her hip, the other holding a tray with one of the shitty cafeteria meals on it.

“Sorry for interrupting. I heard a ruckus and recognized Dave and I simply had to see if he would embarrass himself.” She says and you watch John laugh at her. You stick your tongue out, and Karkat takes advantage, using the protruding appendage as leverage to shove a finger in your mouth and force it open.

He shoves the chicken nugget in, and claps a hand over your mouth much to your protest.

“Karkat!” Feferi snaps and he swats his hand in her general direction.

“Swallow it.” He growls and you glare at him.

“Kinky.” John adds, oh so helpfully from the side and gets glares from both you and Karkat. He simply bounces his eyebrows, before that amused look quickly shifts to confused and slightly annoyed, “Hey, wait, I'm the only one who's allowed to say that to him.”

All eyes are on him then, and then you. John looks amused again and you're sure your face is red as all hell, but it's not like you can say anything with Karkat's hand placed firmly over your mouth. John laughs and Karkat looks over to him before rolling his eyes back to you.

“Seriously.” He says, nodding vaguely to his hand over your mouth.

You roll your eyes, you want to show him just how over dramatic he is being, and you shew exaggeratedly, making sure he can feel you chewing. You don't swallow the chewed up nugget, though, you carefully keep it away as you swallow nothing and Karkat seems satisfied, but suspicious. He takes his hand away slowly, and when you don't immediately spit out the nugget he seems satisfied.

“May I join you all? I know it's somewhat forward of me, seeing as I only know two of you, but. Well frankly, no one else wants me to sit with them.” Rose says from where she stands. He stance has shifted, just a bit, but now you can tell she's nervous. She's afraid she's going to get rejected again.

“Of course.” Sollux speaks up first, and you're not sure but you think he knows about Rose. The way he said it was as if he understood why everyone rejected Rose. He takes a moment to look to everyone for any denials but he gets a nod from Feferi, John and yourself. Rose offers a small thanks, and takes the empty seat next to Eridan.

You look over to Feferi who's staring at you. She points to her mouth, careful not to get too much attention, she has a single eyebrow quirked in question. You don't know whether to say yes or no. Is she asked if you still have it or is she asking if you swallowed? You quirk an eyebrow in return in hopes she will silently elaborate.

She points to her throat then and swallows.

You shake your head.

She nods, like she knew that answer already, and points over her shoulder with her thumb. You nod and she stands, excusing herself and taking her empty tray to the trash.

You follow a few moments later, not bothering to excuse yourself.

Feferi waits nearby for you and stands by as you spit the chewed up chicken into the trash can. That shit gets a weird texture when it sits in your mouth for a long time and what little flavor it has goes away.

You follow her as she starts to walk down the hall, shuffling through a notebook and tearing out a scrap of paper. She hands it to you when you catch up, and you look over the name and the phone number. Feferi stops you in a hall that's empty and she hugs you. She tells you to please call. To do it for yourself. She Tells you a few things about the doctor, and she says please a lot. She kisses your cheeks again.

“Before it gets worse.” Is her final statement. She rubs at your cheek bones with her thumbs and frowns, turning and going heading back to the cafeteria.

She's gone when you get back to the table, the only two left are Rose and John, who talk happily to each other as you take the seat next to John.

“I guess Dave was the other one you knew, just guessing based on your entrance.” John asks, lightly taking your hand under the table. He gives a small squeeze, and you simply return it, finding yourself sending him a soft smile.

“Yes, Dave and I share gym, first period.” Rose answers with a smile, and you watch her eyes drift over the two of you. “You two must be very close.” She says, and you see a knowing look in her eye. “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too.”

John looks over to you and then to Rose, a wordless question stemming from your behavior in second period. “It's okay,” you say simply after a while. “She's cool.” He nods a bit, smiling and pulling you over to press a happy kiss to your temple.

What is up with people and kissing you today?

Rose makes an X over her heart, holding up her right hand.

John's thumb draws circles on the back of your hand.

You wonder why you were ever so worried about him not liking you.


	15. Say Hello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a long time has passed since I updated, I know that. Because of that and my general loss of... Love? I guess? For this story means that I will literally be shitting the next few chapters out just so that I can finish this and be done with it. Should only be a handful more chapters, too, sorry if this isn't entirely great.

John meets you outside your last class, a large grin on his face. You hadn't seen Terezi in a considerable amount of time, and during the last period you'd sent him a message telling him you were going to take him to visit a friend of yours. Needless to say he was excited.

Instead of walking he drove, you gave the directions and you were there very quickly.

“Now, she doesn't speak a lick of English. I mean she can read English braille, but she can't speak it.”

“Oh braille?”

“Yeah she's blind, by the way. Anyways, she doesn't speak English, all she knows is Spanish, so I'll have to translate for you, but that's no big deal, I'm like super great at translating.” He laughs at you, fairly quiet, but that laugh of his that tells you he knows something you don't. He's shit at hiding that thing.

You don't call him out though, and go to the door to her apartment.

Latula throws open the door with a zealous greeting and throws her arms around you.

“It's been a while, kiddo, what happened?”

You just shrug at her. “Just some shit went down, school started back today and it was like focusing on all that bullshit I just couldn't find the time.” You look to John, “Oh and I was busy with this one.” You gesture to him and he smiles at her. “'Tula, this is John, John this is Latula.”

John puts out a hand and instead of shaking it, Latula naturally slaps it and holds up a fist. John returns the fist bump, still grinning. “You're not Terezi then.”

“Hell nah, kid, lil sis is in her room as per usual,” She smiles pointing over her shoulder with a thumb. “She's excited to see you Dave.” Latula adds, bouncing her eyebrows in your general direction and you sigh a bit.

“Shame, I came to tell her me and John are running away to get hitched. Gonna get an Elvis impersonator to officiate us. It's okay, though, she gets to me my maid of honor.” You nod a bit, smirking at the snickers you get from both John and Latula.

She lets you in happily, ushering you on to Terezi's room. John looks over his shoulder as you knock and you smile at him. “She's pretty cool.”

“Yeah.”

A loud voice announces for you to enter ‘the domain of Terezi Pyrope’ and John looks at you with a quirked eyebrow. “Terezi's cool too, I promise.” You say and open the door. She's sat on her bed, grinning in your general direction. “I brought John today!” You announce once the door is closed behind you two.

“So! I finally get to meet John. I've been looking forward to this.” She says, quite loudly, in Spanish, and you shoot John a smirk.

“She says she's been looking forward to meeting you.”

“I know.” He says with a smile, and takes a step forward, introducing himself in Spanish and what the fuck bro that's the kind of thing you tell a dude. You watch Terezi's face shift, and she grins widely, cackling.

“Good job, Dave, you actually wrangled smart one this time. Last douche only knew Latin. Latin!” She cackles some more and John snorts at her, looking at you.

“Do you often introduce people to her that don't know Spanish?” He asks, not breaking the new trend of 'let's all speak Spanish.'

“Wh- Uh, well yeah. I mean I kind of dragged Sollux here, but Karkat came by choice. That one was his idea.” You still don't know why Karkat wanted to come a month ago. You figured it was easier to just let it go, since he never asked to come again.

“How is little Karkat, by the way?” Terezi asks, resting her chin on her palm and smiling in your direction. “I liked him, he was sassy.”

“Oh don't worry the status of his sassiness hasn't changed.” You smile at her and take a seat in her desk chair, when John looks at you with confusion you just point to the floor, and he sighs, but sits there.

“You should definitely bring him by again, he’s a blast to fuck with.” You snort at her, but agree. The problem would inevitably getting Karkat out here, though you get the feeling he may just go for it.

“I’ll ask him about that. Probably not particularly soon, some other crap is going down, gotta take care of that first, y’know, the super busy life of Dave Strider will never be not busy.” You nod, matter-of-fact, even though the nodding is entirely pointless except to get a soft chuckle out of John.

Terezi cackles at you, waving a hand, “Oh yeah, I’m sure you’re just so busy! Schedule all jam packed with school and video games and shit.” She grins, “You had to cancel, like, SO many appointments just to find time to hang out with li’l ole me. No one will ever believe I’m friends with you, they all think you don’t have time for that. Well bad news for them, I knew Dave Strider before he was famous.” She nods, and John is laughing again.

“You did, and it is a gift, you should be honored. I don’t take time out of my busy schedule for just anyone.”

“I know, Dave. I am so honored. Allow me to bow before your greatness so that I can truly show you how honored I am.”

“The sarcasm is so heavy I can hardly breathe.” John cuts in, still laughing a bit. Terezi laughs at him, and reaches out until she finds his head, patting him harshly a couple of times.

“Alright, alright. I’ll cut down on the sarcasm for this visit, but next time I won’t go so easy on you.” She says, and then points at him, “So watch your ass, kid.” She nods.

John smiles at her, and then smiles at you. “It’s really nice to meet you. Dave hasn’t told me much about you.”

Her smile turns mischievous and she turns herself in your direction, “Is that so?”

“Yep. I didn’t know anything about you until we got here.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“John, stop you’re gonna get me in trouble.” You stick a foot out, kicking his thigh lightly, and he just laughs at you again.

Turns out John and Terezi get along swimmingly. Around seven you decide it’s about time to head home, and you bid the girls goodbye before heading to the car and heading for the apartments.

“She was cool.” John starts, when halfway home neither of you have said a thing.

“Yeah, she is. Why didn’t you tell me you knew Spanish?” He shrugs, says he didn’t feel it was important, and you huff, “It’s pretty important dude, considering you live in Texas now. We have, like, so many people that speak Spanish here. People who don’t learn Spanish are shamed, and made a fool of on a daily basis.” You nod, and John snorts.

“I know, Dave. I learned Spanish in the third grade. My dad got me a private tutor and shit, because it’s easiest to learn that kind of shit at younger ages, right? And he didn’t want me to wait until high school to try and learn.”

“Well then what language class did you do for high school, since they require it?”

“I took two years of French, and no, I won’t dirty talk you in French.”

“I’m offended you would think I want such a thing,” You counter and cross your arms, “French is not sexy. Honestly I don’t find any language sexy. In fact talking at all during sex is a big no thanks for me, unless you’re trying to tell me something important, like ‘it broke’ or ‘I can’t feel my legs’ or, I dunno, fucking ‘roll over so that I don’t have to look at your face’.” You shrug, and John’s luck that the light is still red because he’s staring at you like he’s trying not to laugh.

The light changes, and John turns his eyes back to the road, “I hate to ask, but have people actually said those things to you?”

“Yes, all three from the same person.” You nod, quirking an eyebrow at him, “You mostly just wanted to know about the last one, huh?” You ask, and he gives a guilty little nod. “Well, in all honesty that was kind of a roleplay scenario shit thing we were doing? And he was bitching that he couldn’t ‘get into character’ if I was facing him.” You nod, and John looks like he’s holding back laughter again.

You pull up to the apartment and John parks, you walk up the stairs with him, swapping the occasional comment or making a joke. He walks you up to your floor and he gives you a hug and a kiss and he holds you close for a long time.

He’s warm, and you feel ridiculously short, but you also feel safe. He mumbles something about how he hopes that you’re okay, and says you haven’t seemed like it lately. You lie, tell him you’re fine, but you know he doesn’t believe you. He squeezes you a bit, his hands rest at your waist as he pulls away, and you notice his thumbs pressing against your sweater.

You slip away, you tell him goodnight and head inside and lock the door to the apartment behind you. Bro is sitting on the futon, staring at you as you walk in, and you stare back. One eyebrow goes up and he pats the empty space next to him.

“I took John to meet Terezi.” You explain, heading over and dropping your backpack to the floor by the futon before taking the empty seat. Bro gives a soft grunt and a nod, and he throws an arm around where you sit.

“Everything alright at school?”

“Uh, yeah. Just the usual, people being dumbasses, oh shit that kid has glasses, oh no, she has a penis, let’s just hate everyone because we’re all jackasses and they obviously haven’t gotten THAT insult a million and a half times already.” You shrug, cross your legs and you hunch your back. Bro’s hands drops to your shoulder and he rubs it a little bit, “Y’know. Usual. Shit.”

He doesn’t answer. He stays quiet, and rubs your back. You think that he knows something is up. He’s always been able to do that. You won’t tell him, though. He’ll laugh at you or something. So you keep your mouth shut. You watch the floor, and the television show Bro was watching drones on.

The next few hours pass in quiet, eventually Bro shoos you off to your room, you have school tomorrow, and you take your backpack with you.

You change into an ill-fitting pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt and curl up under your blankets, and hope that you don’t wake up in pain again.

Trying to sleep gives you time to think. A lot of time to think.

You don’t check the time when you next get out of bed, you dig in your backpack until you find the piece of paper Feferi gave you and you poke your head out of your room, looking to see if Bro is still awake. He’s still watching TV, still awake, as far as you know.

You head to where he is and you quietly sit down next to him again. This time when he puts his arm around you he pulls you up to his side. He rubs your arm and he waits.

You offer the piece of paper to him, and he takes it, reads it over, and then looks at you, still waiting for you to start the conversation.

“Can you call her?”

He’s still quiet. He’s looking at the paper again. You think he’s trying to piece it all together.

“Therapist?” You nod. “Yeah. What should I tell her?” You shrug, but you kind of know.

“Eating disorder?” You suggest, and Bro gives a slight nod. The hand on your arm has stopped moving, and he’s just holding you now. He gives you a gentle squeeze, and he sets the paper down on the coffee table. You don’t bother trying to get up again. Honestly, you could do with the closeness right now.


	16. Pushing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That thing I said about shitting out chapters; still a thing.
> 
> So that's two for today. I gotta sleep, though, I'll work more tomorrow. I'm thinking... Next chapter some John stuff happens, some Sollux and Karkat shit after that... Then I think one or two more... So, like, four more chapters, probably. Maybe.

In the morning you wake up on the futon. It’s light outside and the first feeling you get is panic. Because you know you are definitely supposed to be at school right now, but the moment you try to get up there’s a hand on your shoulder holding you down.

“Stay.” Bro says, almost like talking to a dog. When you lay back down he pats your head, mumbles a quick ‘good boy’ and then seems to return to a phone call or something. It isn’t until you hear him say “I dunno, I haven’t seen him eat since before Christmas,” that you realize he’s talking to the therapist.

You go and get our phone from your room before returning and curling up again. You have a text from John asking where you’re at, and then another one later that says ‘i came to get you but bro said you were sick :( get better soon okay!’

You set it aside and listen to Bro again, listen to his side of the conversation with the doctor.

“It just. I dunno, I didn’t really notice it, until he said somethin’... I dunno... I don’t know, lady, he’s at fuckin’ school all day, he’s got friends and a life, and I got a job, I can’t keep an eye on him all the damn time…” You grab the nearby pillow and cover your head with it.

You really would rather Bro not argue with the therapist. Fuck you would love it if he never argued with the therapist, ever, what if he makes her hate you or something? And then she won’t even want to help and she’ll-

Bro pulls the pillow off your head, he’s kneeling by the futon and he sighs a little, “Got you an appointment for today. Office is about fifteen minutes away, the appointment’s at two. It’s about nine, so just be ready by then. Wear something comfortable, she said the first appointment might be a long one.” You give a slow nod, but Bro doesn’t leave. He sits down by the side of the futon and puts a hand on your back.

“What happened, kid?” He asks softly, you shrug, your eyes drop to the futon cover. “How long has this been goin’ on?” He asks next, and you sigh a bit, you think about it.

“Christmas break.”

“I know the doctor’s gonna ask you all these same questions, but I figured I could help you figure out your answers before hand.”

You mumble a soft thanks, you stay curled up on the futon while Bro asks you practice questions for a while. He makes you cereal for breakfast and encourages you to eat it, but he doesn’t force you. When you only manage to get a couple of spoonfuls down he puts an arm around you and gives you a squeeze, tells you ‘good job’ and turns the television on. He finishes his own bowl, and after confirming you are alright with it he finishes yours too.

Lunch is similar. Bro makes you soup, you get a couple of spoonfuls down before your stomach tightens up and you can’t bring yourself to eat anymore.

You get texts from everyone asking where you’re at when you don’t show up to lunch at school, and you tell them all that you’re sick.

When you’re getting dressed Bro catches you with a shirt off, you cross your arm and try to hide, but Bro doesn’t acknowledge it, he doesn’t stare, he just tells you that it’s about time to go and then leaves. It doesn’t stop you from feeling disgusting. You pull on a sweater and you hug yourself, you head back out to the living room and you wait until Bro rustles your hair and guides you by your shoulders to the car.

Bro turns the radio up so that the quiet isn’t uncomfortable, and you even manage to catch a song that you both sing along to.

It’s actually a surprisingly nice moment. Not that your relationship with Bro has ever been anything but great, it just feels like an odd thing to happen to someone like you. You feel like you’re not supposed to have this happy few minutes singing a stupid song with your older brother when you’re obviously entirely fucked up.

The story about that ends up being one of the first things you tell the doctor.

When you get to the office, Bro leads the way inside, checks in, they tell you about how long it’ll be and you both take a seat. They call you back and send you down the hall and the doctor’s office is nice, dark colors. Dark reds and grays that compliment. She offers you a seat on a big comfy chair that you could curl up on your side on, and she asks you how you are today.

“Surprisingly not awful.” Is your answer and she hums a little, she smiles at you, and it makes you feel a little better. Bro didn’t make her hate you.

She asks questions and you answer, you get lost in a story about John and she’s smiling at you all the while. You tell her John’s your boyfriend and she asks if he knows about this. You guiltily shake your head and tell her “I can’t tell him.”

“Why’s that, Dave?” She asks, her voice always soft. She speaks softly, a voice that doesn’t intimidate, or scare you, she does a good job of keeping herself open and welcome, and she says your name a lot, which makes you feel stupidly good.

“Well…” You huff a little sigh, “Me and John met online, right? And… After knowing each other for a while, probably close to seven months, we finally did Skype so I got to see what he looked like and stuff.” She nods a little bit, giving a soft ‘mhmm’ “And I was expecting him to be, like, this cute, nerd. Just the way he acted, the way he talked, it all just made this image of this chubby loser in my head and he turned out to be this six foot hunk-and-a-half and some part of me just…” You flex your fingers, consider your words, she waits patiently for you to gather them. “Some part of me realized I liked him. And at the same time suddenly decided that I was disgusting.”

She writes something down, but she must know exactly what she’s doing because she doesn’t look away from you as she tells you to ‘go on’.

“I don’t know, maybe it was something I always felt. I never really did peg myself as the number one on everybody’s bang list, but I always felt decent, not gross, at least. And something just… I dunno. Shifted.”

The clock on her desk beeps as she’s opening her mouth. She frowns at it, and gets up to turn it off.

She puts in her two cents, mostly just ‘I would love to see you again, Dave’ and she asks you to send Bro in.

You thank her, and head out to the lobby. Honestly, despite how little input she actually offered, you did feel a bit better. Having someone to talk to helped. You send Bro down the hall, and he heads off. He comes back what feels like an hour later and pats your shoulder, says it’s time to go and offers to pick up pizza on the way home.

“I know you probably won’t eat much, but every bit we can get in you counts, yeah?”

Dinner is accompanied by a movie. You manage to eat almost half of a slice of pizza and Bro encourages you to keep going. You have trouble with it, but he hugs you for trying.

He switches to a video game, and proposes a deal. Every time you lose, you take a bite. He’s there to back you up, and “if it gets to be too much, we’ll stop and play casually,” and you end up agreeing. You kick his ass for three straight rounds, but round four goes to him. You take a bite, and you’re okay.

You ask him if you can stay home tomorrow and he answers with a question, “Do you NEED to stay home tomorrow,” And you tell him that the answer is probably no, but you just don’t feel like going.

A couple more rounds of getting your ass kicked and you’ve managed a couple more bites of pizza, plus some soda. It’s the most you’ve eaten in a while, and it feels fantastic if not a little gross at the same time.

You agree to go to school in the morning, but you ask Bro if you can sleep on the futon again.

You’re not seven anymore, but sleeping with Bro last night had been the best sleep you’d gotten in a while, so you were gonna take it if he’d give it to you.

He agrees, tells you to finish your pizza, almost nonchalant, like he’d forgotten about the issue all together, but he doesn’t correct himself, and you don’t correct him. You take one more bite, but then your stomach lurches, and you know you’re done.

You find yourself awake in the middle of the night with the urge to empty your stomach, and not from sickness. Bro catches you before you get too far, though, and talks you down, calms down your shaking hands and ushers you back to the futon to go back to sleep.

You wake up feeling marginally less shitty than you have been and you suppose that’s at least an improvement. You don’t feel like getting out of bed, though. It’s Wednesday. At least the week is half over.


End file.
